Just say you don't write recommendations.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

What’s the polite way to decline to be a professional reference for a person whom I have supervised on a short project lasting a few months? The individual failed to complete the project and engaged in rude and abusive behavior toward me. We have an ongoing business relationship, and I would like to avoid additional conflict.

—Recommendation Frustration

banana468

"I do not write them." 

CharmedPam

My ex coworker asked me to do this when she moved.  She was awful!  No one liked her and her work was bad too.
instead of ignoring her I juat googled a generic one, changed  some stuff and gave it to her.  I doubt she used it because it was so generic. She asked a lot of people to write them and I’m sure others did better

MyNameIsNot

Either fib and say you don't do them or tell her you're too busy. If you really must be honest, "I don't think I'm the right person for that" is pretty on-the-nose. Or if you'll be communicating directly with the future employer, agree to do it and be honest. 

charlotte989875

I had to do this with students; tell them what that you would need to put in there the project wasn’t finished and there were interpersonal issues with teammates. Then ask them if they still think you’re the right person for the job. They’ll probably say no. 

short+sassy

The LW could use the excuse they didn't work together long enough for them to feel comfortable being used as a reference with a "wishing them well" on their job hunt.  

One of my first jobs out of college was working for a temp agency...but working for the agency itself.  I must have called 100s of job references for applicants who came in.  But there is one I distinctly remember, even after all these years.  The convo went something like this:

Me:  "Hello, my name is Jennifer and I'm calling from Apple One Employment agency for a job reference on Jane Doe."

((laughter from the HR person)):  "Wow!  Did she really put us down as a reference?"

That response jarred me, lol!  These reference checks were usually dry, monotonous, and extremely similar.  

Me (also laughing):  "She didn't say one way or the other you all would be a good reference, but she listed this job as the last place she worked.  I take it things did not go well?"

The HR person told me she couldn't really give me any details (understandable) but that "that would be a fair statement".  And did verify the the dates of employment and salary.

MissKittyDanger

short+sassy said:

The LW could use the excuse they didn't work together long enough for them to feel comfortable being used as a reference with a "wishing them well" on their job hunt.  

One of my first jobs out of college was working for a temp agency...but working for the agency itself.  I must have called 100s of job references for applicants who came in.  But there is one I distinctly remember, even after all these years.  The convo went something like this:

Me:  "Hello, my name is Jennifer and I'm calling from Apple One Employment agency for a job reference on Jane Doe."

((laughter from the HR person)):  "Wow!  Did she really put us down as a reference?"

That response jarred me, lol!  These reference checks were usually dry, monotonous, and extremely similar.  

Me (also laughing):  "She didn't say one way or the other you all would be a good reference, but she listed this job as the last place she worked.  I take it things did not go well?"

The HR person told me she couldn't really give me any details (understandable) but that "that would be a fair statement".  And did verify the the dates of employment and salary.

Wow!

I had a previous job that didn't ask who my references were and called one - which I wouldn't have put down for various reasons - so they called.
I really don't like when companies don't ask ahead of time who to call - I would have told them not to call because it didn't go well

short+sassy

MissKittyDanger said:

short+sassy said:

The LW could use the excuse they didn't work together long enough for them to feel comfortable being used as a reference with a "wishing them well" on their job hunt.  

One of my first jobs out of college was working for a temp agency...but working for the agency itself.  I must have called 100s of job references for applicants who came in.  But there is one I distinctly remember, even after all these years.  The convo went something like this:

Me:  "Hello, my name is Jennifer and I'm calling from Apple One Employment agency for a job reference on Jane Doe."

((laughter from the HR person)):  "Wow!  Did she really put us down as a reference?"

That response jarred me, lol!  These reference checks were usually dry, monotonous, and extremely similar.  

Me (also laughing):  "She didn't say one way or the other you all would be a good reference, but she listed this job as the last place she worked.  I take it things did not go well?"

The HR person told me she couldn't really give me any details (understandable) but that "that would be a fair statement".  And did verify the the dates of employment and salary.

Wow!

I had a previous job that didn't ask who my references were and called one - which I wouldn't have put down for various reasons - so they called.
I really don't like when companies don't ask ahead of time who to call - I would have told them not to call because it didn't go well

You should always assume that whatever name and number you put down for a current/previous employer, might get called for a reference.  If nothing else, it's a verification of employment, but potential employers will usually also try to get a feel for how well someone did at the job.

Nowadays, especially with bigger companies, there's often a policy where only the "black and white" facts of a person's job will be released for a reference/verification.  Like their title, dates of employment, salary, etc.  But you never know.

So, my suggestion?  If a previous manager/direct supervisor may not give you a good reference, list their name on the application as your supervisor since that is usually asked for.  But don't give their direct line.  Put down the phone number for the HR department instead.  Those people don't say nuthin', lol.  HR usually sticks to employment verification data only.  Heck, at one job I had, although we had a local HR director, all employment verification/reference calls went to the corporate office in GA.  None of those people knew me or had ever even spoken to me.   

MissKittyDanger

short+sassy said:

MissKittyDanger said:

short+sassy said:

The LW could use the excuse they didn't work together long enough for them to feel comfortable being used as a reference with a "wishing them well" on their job hunt.  

One of my first jobs out of college was working for a temp agency...but working for the agency itself.  I must have called 100s of job references for applicants who came in.  But there is one I distinctly remember, even after all these years.  The convo went something like this:

Me:  "Hello, my name is Jennifer and I'm calling from Apple One Employment agency for a job reference on Jane Doe."

((laughter from the HR person)):  "Wow!  Did she really put us down as a reference?"

That response jarred me, lol!  These reference checks were usually dry, monotonous, and extremely similar.  

Me (also laughing):  "She didn't say one way or the other you all would be a good reference, but she listed this job as the last place she worked.  I take it things did not go well?"

The HR person told me she couldn't really give me any details (understandable) but that "that would be a fair statement".  And did verify the the dates of employment and salary.

Wow!

I had a previous job that didn't ask who my references were and called one - which I wouldn't have put down for various reasons - so they called.
I really don't like when companies don't ask ahead of time who to call - I would have told them not to call because it didn't go well

You should always assume that whatever name and number you put down for a current/previous employer, might get called for a reference.  If nothing else, it's a verification of employment, but potential employers will usually also try to get a feel for how well someone did at the job.

Nowadays, especially with bigger companies, there's often a policy where only the "black and white" facts of a person's job will be released for a reference/verification.  Like their title, dates of employment, salary, etc.  But you never know.

So, my suggestion?  If a previous manager/direct supervisor may not give you a good reference, list their name on the application as your supervisor since that is usually asked for.  But don't give their direct line.  Put down the phone number for the HR department instead.  Those people don't say nuthin', lol.  HR usually sticks to employment verification data only.  Heck, at one job I had, although we had a local HR director, all employment verification/reference calls went to the corporate office in GA.  None of those people knew me or had ever even spoken to me.   

Ahh that's the fun part. I never provide a number for that reason.
I always "references available upon request"