I’m a divorced woman in my 40s with two older teenagers. I’ve been dating a lot over the past few years and having a great time. I used to talk to my mom and sister about it, but they’re more socially conservative, and they seemed judgmental that I was dating at all, rather than just parenting. Since the pandemic started, we’ve been in touch about every day via a group text—mostly chitchat and little updates. Last year I matched with a lovely man on a dating app who lives a few states away. We reconnected about a month ago and have been having ersatz dates over Zoom. We’re planning an in-person visit for later this month in his state. This relationship might have potential, but I won’t know until we spend time together in person.
But should I tell my mom and sister about my trip? It would be unusual for me to go out of state for two nights without mentioning it, but I know they will not approve of me traveling to meet a new man, even aside from COVID (and please know I’m being pretty sensible on that front too). This trip might seem inappropriate or even shocking to them, and I don’t want to hear their criticism of my sex life. I definitely don’t need to hear my mom say, “You don’t need a man” anymore because … I know that! I like sex and dating. I like this man, and I trust my instincts. I know I’m not obligated to tell them anything, but do I talk around it? Say I’m visiting a friend? Lie outright? I’m not ashamed but don’t want their judgment quite yet, until I see if there’s potential with this guy.