You see this for what it is and it's OK.

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I have a friend I supported through undergrad, grad school, and serious postpartum depression (including hospitalization) twice. She was still reeling from her last pregnancy a bit at the beginning of the pandemic, but when things locked down and I couldn’t physically be there anymore, I was, to my horror, relieved. She seems to be managing OK now (though it’s hard to tell through infrequent texts), but the longer I’ve gone without seeing her, the less I … care. She never calls or checks in on me and never reciprocates invites, and I just don’t think she has the capacity to reach out. Do I just let her go? It’s clear that it was a one-sided friendship, but I feel terrible about it.

—Ghosting a Depressed Friend

banana468

Let it go. 

Also, some people are terrible at checking in and in a pandemic there's a lot of internalizing people can do.  You can figure out if you want to reconnect or not and go from there. 

MissKittyDanger

As someone who has the depression cycle, I rarely reach out to people. Not because I don't want to, it's just more energy than it's worth - and often back of my head that little voice is saying I'm bothering that person, they don't wanna talk, etc

charlotte989875

She may not be able to give any more than she is right now, and that’s okay. That also doesn’t have to be enough for you either. Just because you know she doesn’t have the capacity doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt. You can stop reaching out if that’s what you need. Or less frequently. 

short+sassy

To the signature line...it's not ghosting when the friend isn't even trying to get in touch with you.

But if you need someone new to take advantage of your generosity, the other LW might be breaking things off with their "perpetual student" partner pretty soon.

downtondiva

There are some friendships where you're always going to be the one reaching out. Sometimes you'll find it's worth the effort, other times you'll eventually give up. It's totally okay to decide you've had enough of a one-sided friendship and take a step back.