Classic: this feels familiar, but not...either way, all the nopes.

mrsconn23

Before he met me, my husband was engaged to another woman who passed away only weeks before their wedding. Her mother contacted my husband with an upsetting story of her daughter appearing in her dreams repeatedly. The mother believes the spirit of her daughter is tormented and unable to “pass over” because she has unfulfilled business, namely the wedding which never occurred. The mother has asked my husband to take part in some creepy spiritual wedding ceremony so that her daughter can find peace and enter the afterworld. After he said no in the nicest possible way, she has continued to pester and plead with him. Now he thinks he should just do it for the sake of putting an elderly grieving woman at peace. While I don’t believe in such superstition I find it weird and plain wrong for my husband to “marry” another woman, even if she has been dead for years. We have been fighting over this insane issue. Am I being stubborn or am I right in thinking this is twisted and inappropriate?

Casadena

Nope, nope, nope. 

short+sassy

The H should tell this mother that, he has already politely told her "no" many times.  And it is no longer up for discussion.  For extra karma bonus points, he should also recommend she see a grief counselor because the haunted dreams she is having shows that she is still really struggling with this grief.

I'm also wondering what the relationship is with the H and this woman.  Are they still close?  Because, if they aren't, he should have just blocked her number a long time ago.  But if they keep in touch, I can understand why he wouldn't necessarily want to take that option.

charlotte989875

That took a super creepy turn. 

He needs to say no, gently but firmly. Say that while he loved this woman’s daughter he won’t be doing this and the discussion is closed. 

banana468

charlotte989875 said:

That took a super creepy turn. 

He needs to say no, gently but firmly. Say that while he loved this woman’s daughter he won’t be doing this and the discussion is closed. 

Yup.  I feel bad for the mom but there's going to be a point where the LW and H need to have a discussion that mom needs a therapist and not someone to play corpse bride. 

CharmedPam

Wait, didnt we have one like this before?  Or something  eerily close to it?

levioosa

CharmedPam said:

Wait, didnt we have one like this before?  Or something  eerily close to it?

I think we might be thinking of the letter where the family of the FI couldn’t stop talking about the deceased ex-FI and how their lives would have looked differently with her still alive and married to the FI. 

downtondiva

I feel sorry for the mother - nobody should ever have to go through the pain of losing a child. But this "spiritual wedding" idea is deeply disrespectful to the LW, the husband, and quite frankly, the late fiancée. Husband needs to keep saying no and encourage this woman to seek therapy/grief counseling. She's going through a lot and clearly needs help.