Dear Prudence,
I know as I sit here writing this that the answer is obvious, but when in-laws come into play, manners, communicating, and all the other really important stuff goes out the door for me. My mother-in-law is driving me crazy. She lost a close friend last year, and every single day all she talks about is this person and how she misses them. Everyone grieves differently, but she literally will not stop talking about them. It’s been a year. I had hoped she would get herself a bit more together by now. She specifically brings it up more when she comes around us. I know it’s been a hard year, but she’s driving me crazy. Tears every five minutes. I’m sorry, call me cold-hearted, but I would swear no one has tears to cry every five minutes for a year. It’s not normal grief, if that exists.
I’ve tried to be understanding, but it’s becoming more and more dramatic, more emotional, and to be honest, people have taken me aside asking if everything’s OK with her. My in-laws grieve very differently than I do. It honestly feels suspicious that she gets more ramped up around me. I don’t remind her of this person, so there’s no reason for her to have these “episodes.” How should I deal with this? At what point do you ask someone if they should go to therapy? How long is grieving “normal,” if that exists?
—Annoyed Daughter-In-Law