Wedding Woes

He was doing that. Tell your husband and call the damn cops.

TW: child exposure to abuse

Dear Prudence,

We (me, my husband, and our son and daughter) moved into our house about a year ago. We met the neighbors next door about two weeks in. They’re an older couple with grown kids. Our only interactions since then have been a friendly wave here and there. I mostly only see the husband outside, since he smokes. A few days ago, he was outside smoking when I’d just gotten home with my sister and daughter (she’s 2). I asked how his wife was, and he asked after my husband. We were about 60 feet apart so we were kind of speaking loudly. Anyways, he said something about how cloudy it was, and I responded with “Yeah, that’s why we left the park early.” Suddenly I see his free hand wander down to his crotch. I thought maybe he was just adjusting himself so I looked straight ahead to give him a minute, but then to my horror realized he was lingering there. Before I could process what was happening, he took his penis out and started playing with it.

I had my toddler in my arms, and I got so flustered that I didn’t even finish whatever I was saying and walked into the house. I told my sister that I’m pretty sure l saw our neighbor stroke himself while we were having a friendly chat. However, the nice part of me wants to believe that my eyes were playing a trick on me and that I maybe imagined it … ? I just don’t know what to do. On the one hand, if he wasn’t doing that, then there’s no need to address it. On the other hand, if he was, then I would like to tell my husband and warn him about this man being a pervert.

—Pervy Neighbor

Re: He was doing that. Tell your husband and call the damn cops.

  • You saw what you saw, don’t try and diminish that. Tell your husband and call the police. 
  • Tell your H and call the cops.   
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yikes!  Like, real yikes!

  • climbingsingleclimbingsingle NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I hate that it's so ingrained in us to second guess ourselves. You saw it. Call the police, and don't feel bad about it. 

  • mrsconn23 said:
    This is how abuse conditioning works.  This guy disarmed you in the most benign way by being friendly and neighborly.  He has a wife and you talk about the weather.  How could he ever whip his dick out in front of you and your kid?  Believe your eyes, LW. 

    I can't believe you didn't tell your husband immediately.  Be your child's advocate, FFS.  He's a gross old man and I'd be terrified if my kid wandered too far over by his house.  

    I cannot imagine just second guessing myself while a predator could do that to my kids.  
  • This isn't the sort of thing where your eyes play tricks on you. Stop second guessing yourself. It happened, and you should call the police for your child's sake and your own. 
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