Make an itinerary that ensures y'all have group activities planned?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

Now that we’re all vaccinated, I will be reuniting with my two good friends and our partners (I’m a cis man) for a week. My two friends have similar names and use the same nickname (think “Billy” for William and Williamson). The Billys aren’t the most inclusive when we get together. On the last trip, my wife and I were frequently left out of four-person games like tennis, while the Billys whooped it up and had fun. I’m from the same state as one of the Billys, and we connect frequently, but that seems to fly out the window in favor of those two sticking together. I’ve tried bringing it up, but the Billys don’t follow through. I’m worried that not attending in the future would just leave me friendless. What should I do?

—Wish I Was Billy Too

charlotte989875

Go on vacation with one Billy at a time? 

If that ship has sailed then try and plan activities you call can do together. 

Where are the partners in this, or are the Billys off together and the 4 of you are figure if our what to do? 

mrsconn23

It sounds like the Billys and their partners are grouping up and leaving out LW and wife. 

IDK, this feels like a 'fool once, shame on you, fool me twice...' situation.  However, I understand how hard it is to make friends as an adult.  And the last year, hardly anyone made new friends that didn't live inside their computer.  

I think LW needs to take some reins here for these trips with suggesting activities that are inclusive of the group.   Why can't they play round robin tennis or something?  Or why can't LW and their wife go find their own thing to do?  Or is there a 4th couple they can invite?  

At the end of the day if the Billys don't respect LW, then LW needs to figure out if these trips are worth it when they feel left out. 

short+sassy

Especially since the LW has already brought it up to no avail, I think it's time to accept that this is the way it is when they are all on vacation together and go from there.

Maybe the LW still wants to go on the trips, but needs to lower their expectations and also have solo plans for him and his wife.  As well as planning for more inclusive events/games that all six of them can play together.  Or maybe it's easier on the LW to no longer take group trips with both Billys.

But I'm guessing it's probably not just games.  I'm also picturing the Billys talking more to each other throughout the trip and the LW not being as much in the conversations.

MyNameIsNot

Sounds like the Billys just aren't that into you, LW.