Wedding Woes

Classic: Should we buy a 'haunted' house?

My husband and I are looking to purchase a new home. We’ve seen probably a dozen houses in the last couple of weeks, and only two have really felt immediately like they could be “home.” We lost out on the first to another buyer, but the second is still a possibility. Then we learned that the house was the site of an extremely grisly murder—a husband dismembered his wife there. We would be the next occupants. We’ve lived in a few other houses with a “past,” and haven’t felt uncomfortable. But I’m taken aback by the strong negative reaction from members of our extended family. Their biggest concern, and ours too, is our kids, who are in junior high and high school, who we haven’t told about the house. Thanks to the Internet, we know all the horrific details of the case, and that information will be just as easily accessible to them. Are we crazy to think that one bad night in a house’s 100-year history is simply that, one bad night? My husband is a pastor and I am a mortician, so who better to buy this place?

Re: Classic: Should we buy a 'haunted' house?

  • I'm with banana. I wouldn't touch the place with a 10 ft pole.
  • FWIW, I grew up 20 minutes from Sandy Hook elementary.  I'm glad that school has been demolished.  There is NO WAY I would want to send my kids there.   I didn't ask the friends who live in that district but would wager that they are also supportive that the building no longer exists. 
  • If you feel okay with it that’s fine. I would maybe tell your kids before you put an offer in. They’re old enough (and presumably their friends are too) to find this information and be affected by it. Have a conversation with them if they feel comfortable living there. 

    But if you’re all on board who cares what other people think. 
  • @banana468 2 things I just learned - you live near Sandy Hook, and that it was demolished. Sorry that happened so close to home :( 
  • Nope nope nope


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  • @banana468 2 things I just learned - you live near Sandy Hook, and that it was demolished. Sorry that happened so close to home :( 
    My parents live 20 minutes from it.  I'm now about an hour away.    We didn't know people who were personally affected with the loss but knew people who knew people.  When you're in your early 30s and having kids your peers with kids that live in the area or work in the area become intimately involved.  
  • If you're a mortician and you and your H have a penchant for houses with 'colorful' pasts, then I'm not sure how shocking this will be to your kids.  Yes, it sounds like it was the worst event so far. 

    Still doesn't make sense why you're asking Prudie to bless your choices in real estate. 
  • mrsconn23 said:
    If you're a mortician and you and your H have a penchant for houses with 'colorful' pasts, then I'm not sure how shocking this will be to your kids.  Yes, it sounds like it was the worst event so far. 

    Still doesn't make sense why you're asking Prudie to bless your choices in real estate. 
    Funny story - DH has two cousins that are funeral directors and there's an apartment in the home.  At one of the bridal showers years ago someone gave the bride to be potpourri and another wife (married to one of the directors) said, "It's to mask the smell of downstairs!" 
  • I'll be the outlier, lol.  It wouldn't bother me one whit to live in a house where a violent crime somewhat recently occurred.  I didn't know the victim.  I'm not going to have "memories" and my thoughts will not dwell on a crime that, at best, I maybe saw photos of.

    My response to relatives or whatever other people think they are entitled to give me their opinion on the home I buy would be, "Sorry you're bothered by the house.  I'm not.  I promise not to have a house warming party or host Thanksgiving dinner here."

    The ONLY thing that would give me pause in the LW's situation is their kids.  Because the kids need to live in the house too and deal with all their peers knowing they live in the "murder house".  I would speak with them about it and very seriously consider their thoughts.  Though, with teens and pre-teens, that might give them "status" points and be a great conversational opening.
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  • banana468 said:
    @banana468 2 things I just learned - you live near Sandy Hook, and that it was demolished. Sorry that happened so close to home :( 
    My parents live 20 minutes from it.  I'm now about an hour away.    We didn't know people who were personally affected with the loss but knew people who knew people.  When you're in your early 30s and having kids your peers with kids that live in the area or work in the area become intimately involved.  
    I remember seeing so much about it and was thinking that I couldn't imagine even the people living in the area's reaction!
  • I remember I read a book series when I was younger by Meg Cabot where the girl could see ghosts but she didn't tell her family. She was adamant that she didn't want to move anywhere "old" because there was more of a chance the house had a history. Of course her parents thought she was being dramatic and bought an old Victorian home. It was a rom-com genre so of course the ghost ended up being a hot teen that she fell in love with. Lol
  • Also, please tell me I'm not the only one thinking of Eddie Murphy's stand up.
  • Given their professions "Only if you want to take your work home with you"...

    I own two "High energy" properties - and in chatting with others who have done the same - the properties choose their buyer nsjs...



  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2021
    I’d buy it.

    But I’d also sage the shit out of it first.

    eta: Sorry, I was busy yesterday and couldn’t read Prudie but this letter is my JAM!

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