Wedding Woes

Avoiding hurt feelings is not a design aesthetic.

Dear Prudence,

I’m currently redoing my office/bedroom. After years of trying to pull my space together, I’ve finally come up with a cohesive design. The problem is a gift I got from my aunt. She is a wonderful painter and painted me a gorgeous scene. I’ve always loved the picture, but it no longer goes with my design choices. On top of that, she asked me for some photos for inspiration, didn’t like any of them, and chose something she liked better. I’ve always liked the photo so much that I kind of ignored the fact that the subject isn’t something I would have chosen as a piece of art. I’m feeling conflicted because it is an absolutely gorgeous picture that my aunt spent so much time on. I know she feels demoralized that her other nieces and nephews don’t seem to like the art gifts she makes for them. I hate to make her feel bad. She rarely comes to my apartment and almost never comes into my room, so she may never notice. Am I overthinking?

—Artful Reorganization

Re: Avoiding hurt feelings is not a design aesthetic.

  • Dramatically overthinking. Take it down. If she notices say that it didn’t fit the room but you look forward to be displaying it in the future. 
  • Can you put it somewhere else?   If it doesn't go in your bedroom what about the entrance, bathroom or kitchen? 
  • Put it in your entry way. She’ll see it as soon as she comes in, and you won’t be staring at it every morning when you wake up. 
  • Agree with moving it elsewhere. 
  • I have stuff I don't want to part with but doesn't go with everything else, so I also put it in a different room
  • “The interior designer I hired placed it in (insert new room of choice here)”.

  • Either the LW is overreacting or the aunt is an emotional terrorist.  I'm leaning toward latter since  LW mentioned aunt asked for an inspiration pics from LW and then did her 'own thing' since she didn't 'like' the pictures LW chose and complains about other people not displaying her 'work'.  

    Aunt clearly doesn't give a crap about other people's feelings seeing as she offers to make a custom piece for people based on something said person enjoys and then decides she doesn't like the inspiration provided.  If aunt has done this to other people in the family, I understand why they don't want to showcase aunt's work.  It's not what they wanted. 

    LW mentions that aunt doesn't even visit that often and wouldn't be in that room, so they're truly overthinking this.  However, I get LW feeling a little angst since they're kind of on an island regarding aunt and her artwork,.  They need to take this permission to stop caring.  
  • I realize this is more the "coward's" choice.  But I assume there is a good space on the wall somewhere to put the painting.  Put the painting there when the aunt comes over.  Then take it down when she's left.  It doesn't hurt the aunt's feelings and is only a very minor and occasional inconvenience for the LW.
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  • ei34ei34 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think it's fine to just put it somewhere else.
  • Why can't you just put the artwork up somewhere else in your home? You're making way too much of this.
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  • kerbohlkerbohl member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    So at first I was thinking that it was really annoying that the aunt asked for what the LW wanted her to paint and then just went with her own thing.  Then I thought that maybe she tried to work with what the LW gave her and the inspiration didn't hit or she wasn't as good at recreating something there, and that's why she stuck with something she was more comfortable with.  But then I thought about hubby who made a piece of art for me that involved horses.  He isn't good at painting horses, but came up with a way to get me what I wanted.  So I'm back to thinking the aunt is a bit annoying.  

    I have two pieces of art that hubby got from his godparents that are actually really, really nice, but we don't have them up right now because we don't have a space for them.  But we will eventually put them up again, we just have to figure some things out.  If said person came for a visit and noticed they weren't up, they wouldn't be upset that we just don't have them up right now ....

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