Wedding Woes

Keep slipping her the bean dip.

Dear Prudence,

I live in a small town where everyone seems to know everyone. I mostly stay out of the fray of gossip, as do my close friends, and I like it that way. In the past several months, two people I used to run into socially have been charged with stealing from their employers. One of the individuals has pretty well disappeared, but the other seems to be at everything. What’s a good way to treat someone in that instance? I mean, innocent until proven guilty and all, but federal embezzlement charges aren’t brought flippantly. She cornered one close friend and tried to tell her it was all just a misunderstanding and she was sure it would get cleared up soon. When she tried to visit with me at an event, I was afraid she’d do the same, so I talked about the weather and then escaped to a refreshments table. Is that the best thing to do, just give her the slip every time? It all feels so uncomfortable! 

— Awkward Until Proven Guilty

Re: Keep slipping her the bean dip.

  • I’d keep doing that; it doesn’t sound like these people are close friends so I’d keep bean dipping if she tries to talk to you about the situation. That said I think it’s fine to make small talk. If she is innocent it would suck that everyone treated her poorly for something she didn’t do. 
    mrsconn23
  • I think it's fine to make small talk but don't ask these people to hold your purse while you get a new drink and keep the discussion superficial. 

    It's unusual that employers take criminal action without proof so I would also keep conversations brief.  
    mrsconn23charlotte989875CharmedPamshort+sassy
  • This barely sounds like a problem.  Sure, yeah.  Just keep avoiding her or keeping small talk short.  I don't even see what the big deal is if this woman "corners" the LW and says similar things.  Nod and wish her luck with the charges.

    However, the LW does say something that is one of my pet peeves..."innocent until proven guilty".  That is a court standard.  That's it.  It doesn't need to be everyone's personal mantra.

    We had a long-time congressman up for re-election when the Feds raided his house and found a lot of cash in his freezer, I think $26K.  I got SO tired of hearing people say dumb stuff like, "It's not fair to not vote for him because of that.  He hasn't had his trial yet.  Innocent until proven guilty.  Blah, blah, blah."  

    Not fair?  What were they talking about!  That might and should be the court's standard on the question of if he is guilty and should have his freedoms stripped away and go to prison.  But no way in hell am I voting for someone who is probably going to prison (he did) and already had his Congressional committees stripped away from him.  It was shocking how many people voted for him anyway.  He lost, but barely.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
    CharmedPamcharlotte989875banana468mrsconn23
  • This barely sounds like a problem.  Sure, yeah.  Just keep avoiding her or keeping small talk short.  I don't even see what the big deal is if this woman "corners" the LW and says similar things.  Nod and wish her luck with the charges.

    However, the LW does say something that is one of my pet peeves..."innocent until proven guilty".  That is a court standard.  That's it.  It doesn't need to be everyone's personal mantra.

    We had a long-time congressman up for re-election when the Feds raided his house and found a lot of cash in his freezer, I think $26K.  I got SO tired of hearing people say dumb stuff like, "It's not fair to not vote for him because of that.  He hasn't had his trial yet.  Innocent until proven guilty.  Blah, blah, blah."  

    Not fair?  What were they talking about!  That might and should be the court's standard on the question of if he is guilty and should have his freedoms stripped away and go to prison.  But no way in hell am I voting for someone who is probably going to prison (he did) and already had his Congressional committees stripped away from him.  It was shocking how many people voted for him anyway.  He lost, but barely.
    Exactly.  Some of these situations are far more clear than "innocent until proven guilty".  And most employers don't go to court unless they'll win either. 
    short+sassycharlotte989875mrsconn23
  • So nothing to really add, but my brain keeps reading this as "keep slipping her the bean" - which my brain is thinking as sexual/bodily terms lol
    mrsconn23charlotte989875
  • So nothing to really add, but my brain keeps reading this as "keep slipping her the bean" - which my brain is thinking as sexual/bodily terms lol
    Yeah Baby GIFs  Tenor
    MissKittyDangershort+sassy
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