Crying and screaming? Over colors? You both need to get a grip.

short+sassy

My mother is throwing me a graduation party in late July. She insists on using the color scheme of the high school I’m graduating from, rather than the color scheme of the college I’ll be attending in the fall. We’ve had several screaming matches over this, and she keeps bringing me to tears as she stubbornly insists that she’s right. How can I get my mom to see that her intransigence is ruining my party?

MissKittyDanger

Sounds like there might be underlying issues if LW is mother are screaming about this....

Casadena

Ruining the nice party she's throwing for you because they colors are wrong?  You both suck.

CharmedPam

Why was this letter even published?

flantastic

Sounds like she's the host and this is ridiculous.

levioosa

This? THIS is the biggest problem in your life? So big you had to write to Prudie? GTFO. 

banana468

If Chiquita pulled a stunt like that I'd tell her the solution is that she finds someone else to pay for college and I'm now going to start charging rent.

There have to be deeper issues here but this kid is in for a rude awakening of how to deal with humans at an adult level. 

Casadena

also...intransigence??  You extra suck

banana468

Casadena said:

also...intransigence??  You extra suck

Also why I think the LW is an absolute brat.  With comments like that I'm wondering if the larger issue is the number of people accepting the invitation to the event. 

short+sassy

Casadena said:

also...intransigence??  You extra suck

Apparently now that they are a big shot HS graduate and about to go to college, they need to start using 50 cent words on the reg.

Yet scream and cry because the HOST for their party wants to use different colors.  And that will RUIN their party.  Come on!  They need to grow up and do it fast, now that they are about to enter real life.

But the mom sucks also because if the person they are throwing the party for want different colors, than she should just go with the colors they want.

I do not understand why this is a hill to die on for either of them.

MissKittyDanger

Casadena said:

also...intransigence??  You extra suck

I had to go look that up.
LW had to say it ... 

banana468

short+sassy said:

Casadena said:

also...intransigence??  You extra suck

Apparently now that they are a big shot HS graduate and about to go to college, they need to start using 50 cent words on the reg.

Yet scream and cry because the HOST for their party wants to use different colors.  And that will RUIN their party.  Come on!  They need to grow up and do it fast, now that they are about to enter real life.

But the mom sucks also because if the person they are throwing the party for want different colors, than she should just go with the colors they want.

I do not understand why this is a hill to die on for either of them.

Kind of makes me wonder if that apple tree has apples falling very close to it. 

charlotte989875

Cancel the party. That way everyone loses. 

short+sassy

charlotte989875 said:

Cancel the party. That way everyone loses. 

That's probably what I would have done if I was the mother.  But then, I wouldn't have argued over something petty like colors.

climbingsingle

STFU and let your mom decorate how she wants on the party she's throwing you. What a brat. 

kerbohl

You have a mother that is throwing you a graduation party.  Appreciate it.

Did any of you have a graduation party for high school?  I didn't ... I really don't feel like I missed out that much.

MesmrEwe

banana468 said:

If Chiquita pulled a stunt like that I'd tell her the solution is that she finds someone else to pay for college and I'm now going to start charging rent.

There have to be deeper issues here but this kid is in for a rude awakening of how to deal with humans at an adult level. 

My kids would also get a CTJ or "Where the bear *poop*s in the buckwheat" moment...

LW - we understand that there is probably a dynamic going on between you and your mother, and decorating for a party thrown for you isn't a hill to die on in life.  There's a time to stand up for yourself and a time to go with the flow.  The colors for your High School Grad Party are your High School colors, your colors for a graduation from college party would be the colors of your college, like it or not, your Mom gets this round because she's paying for the party and pretty sure she's hosting it too!

The entitlement factor of the LW seems kind of like the kid who complains that their parents bought them a 2021 Audi fully loaded off the lot instead of the Tesla they wanted...  

CharmedPam

kerbohl said:

You have a mother that is throwing you a graduation party.  Appreciate it.

Did any of you have a graduation party for high school?  I didn't ... I really don't feel like I missed out that much.

Yes and no.  I didn’t have any friends in HS.  I had just moved from Canada, but when I got home from my graduation ceremony, a bunch of my parents friends’ were there and they had dinner/cake.  Apparently it wasn’t hard for THEM to make new friends.

i didn’t miss out on anything either. 

climbingsingle

kerbohl said:

Did any of you have a graduation party for high school?  I didn't ... I really don't feel like I missed out that much.

Yes, I had a HS grad party at our house. Mostly everyone I went to school with did. 

banana468

I had one for HS and college.  Parents backyard, picnic style.    I do not remember any coordination of colors other than dressing myself. 

MyNameIsNot

kerbohl said:

You have a mother that is throwing you a graduation party.  Appreciate it.

Did any of you have a graduation party for high school?  I didn't ... I really don't feel like I missed out that much.

Yes, they were pretty common when I graduated. We had actually moved right before my senior year started, so most of my friends were back home. I got to invite a couple of my best friends from home to come down for the weekend. Other than that, it was mostly relatives and my mom's [generous] friends. 

I don't recall whether it had a color scheme, but if it did, it wasn't based on any of my schools' colors. 

MissKittyDanger

kerbohl said:

Did any of you have a graduation party for high school?  I didn't ... I really don't feel like I missed out that much.

Does a dinner with family in the middle of the week count?

short+sassy

kerbohl said:

You have a mother that is throwing you a graduation party.  Appreciate it.

Did any of you have a graduation party for high school?  I didn't ... I really don't feel like I missed out that much.

I had a HS graduation party.  But it was pretty casual and low key.  BBQ at the house kind of thing.  It was more for family friends, as opposed to my HS friends.  For my friends, only my b/f and a couple good friends who lived nearby were there.

I'm not sure if there was a color theme at all.  Which, now that I think about it, is another good point to make to the LW.  I remember the party fondly and the people who were there.  But I have long forgotten what the colors were or if there was a color theme at all.

levioosa

I didn’t have one. Most people around me did, and they were HUGE affairs. Like money you would spend on a wedding reception huge. People were super dramatic about their weekends too (no overlap in friend groups allowed). We didn’t have the money for more than a dinner right after the ceremony with my parents and grandparents. 

CharmedPam

Our colors were yellow and black.  I can’t forget that. Want to know why? The bees and wasps never forget either. 

charlotte989875

CharmedPam said:

Our colors were yellow and black.  I can’t forget that. Want to know why? The bees and wasps never forget either. 

Ours were orange and black. Also hard to forget. 

climbingsingle

My HS colors were red and black, but I honestly have no idea if my mom incorporated that into the party. I don't think so? It was also a super casual backyard outdoor BBQ. 

ei34

charlotte989875 said:

Cancel the party. That way everyone loses. 

The guests would win here 😳 I’d want to pass on this mother and daughter. 

People didn’t really have HS grad parties in my circle, although my parents took the graduate and whichever siblings were around out to dinner for college and grad school. If I had to take a ridiculous side in LW’s battle, I’d decorate with HS colors. With maybe one college banner or bumper sticker with a “see you soon!” attached.  

kerbohl

My HS colours were the same as my wedding colours.  Maybe I'll just say that my wedding was also a delayed graduation party, LOL.

I didn't even attempt the graduation for my Masters.  

ILoveBeachMusic

When I graduated (many, many years ago) we didn't have grad parties. When I moved to Indiana about 5 years after I graduated from HS, I discovered that it was a HUGE thing to have HS graduation parties here. So my kids all had them. We decorated the cake with the HS colors, paper goods were HS colors but we had banners from the college. Most of the parties were open house type of things with sandwiches or finger foods.