Start saying, "At least I'm not a Becky?!"

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My name is Karen. As you probably know, over the past year or so, my name turned into a meme with some pretty bad connotations. It was funny when it was the “I’d like to speak to your manager” jokes, but now it’s associated with racism and bigotry. I like to think that I’m as far away from the meme version of my name as I can get, but it’s still causing me a lot of anxiety about how others perceive me and my name. When I go out to eat or get coffee, I ask whoever I’m with to give their name instead of mine. When I’m scrolling through social media, I’m jarred by seeing people censor my name with asterisks. I don’t want to change my name (I actually quite like it!), but this attention is making me feel really self-conscious. I also feel like I can’t even share my feelings, since that’s feeding into the meme. I know, of course, there are way more important issues out there that others face, and in the grand scheme of things, this is not a big deal—but I’ve been trying to deal with this on my own and can’t seem to shake this feeling. Do you have any advice for moving past this, not worrying about what others think, and learning to love my name again?

—What’s in a Name

CharmedPam

We had this conversation here not to long ago how that’s changed!!!  LW has to ignore it, you can’t change society. 

charlotte989875

This isn’t about you Karen. 

banana468

LW has to ignore it or come up with witty comments just like, "At least I'm not Becky" or something else.  She has every right to be annoyed. 

charlotte989875

banana468 said:

LW has to ignore it or come up with witty comments just like, "At least I'm not Becky" or something else.  She has every right to be annoyed. 

Annoyed? Sure. Anxiety, self-consciousness, & not being able to let things go is a bit much. 

If people were making jokes at her or at her expense I’d understand it, but in general? I think she’s being a little dramatic. 

mrsconn23

charlotte989875 said:

banana468 said:

LW has to ignore it or come up with witty comments just like, "At least I'm not Becky" or something else.  She has every right to be annoyed. 

Annoyed? Sure. Anxiety, self-consciousness, & not being able to let things go is a bit much. 

If people were making jokes at her or at her expense I’d understand it, but in general? I think she’s being a little dramatic. 

Yes and also, the "Karening" of people is an extremely online thing. 

Now is it gendered and misogynistic, which makes it an extra layer of annoying? Yep.  But seriously, live your life LW. If someone is all "Heh, you're a Karen." Perfect your bored, dismissive stare. It doesn't need a response.  

VarunaTT

I can see why it would feel personal; she needs to work on not feeling defensive, b/c it's not about her.

When that terrible woman in NYC called the cops on the black birdwatcher in Central Park, online stuff started using "Amy" for a hot minute and it was jarring to me.  I kept thinking, "Pleeeeassseee, don't let this be a thing."

short+sassy

I can understand how eye rolling and annoying this has become for all the people named Karen out there.  

But, like so many annoying and stupid things in life, LW Karen needs to rise above and chalk this under the "some people suck" category and ignore.  And eventually it won't be a thing anymore (hopefully).

And she also shouldn't let this hold her back from being who she is.  Let's all repeat together...it's okay to complain!  People should complain when businesses are doing shitty things. 

However, complaining should be done in a professional and rational manner.  No screaming and definitely no name calling or attacking the employee or other people.

For a side story, about one year after Hurricane Katrina decimated southern Louisiana and MS, I was buying something at a gas station.  The clerk's name was Katrina and the customer in front of me was making some joke about her name.  He wasn't being mean or anything but, omg, that must get so old.  I said something to that effect when it was my turn.  She told me the jokes weren't too bad, as long as people were saying them in good spirits.  But she also said that her name sometimes angered people and she'd also had customers rudely tell her she should change her name.