Wedding Woes

Classic Prudie -- You Do You, But I Think You're Taking a Big Gamble Also

My family planned an important vacation for this coming June. This vacation will be in a remote location, a helicopter ride away from medical services, and it is important to us for cultural reasons. Surprise, surprise—I learned I’m pregnant, and I will be 36 weeks at the time of this trip. I asked my doctor, and she said it was pushing it to go on vacation at that time. I have already had one easy, uncomplicated birth. Also, my husband will be coming with us, and he is a doctor. My sister is threatening to cancel the vacation for everyone because she is too worried about me going. I’ve assessed the risk as minimal, if any, and in any event, I am an adult! Should my sister shut her trap and let us all go on this vacation?
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Re: Classic Prudie -- You Do You, But I Think You're Taking a Big Gamble Also

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited July 15
    I agree with the title. Just because on uncomplicated birth has happened doesn't mean the next one will not be uncomplicated - also I would want modern medicine closer than a helicopter ride away.
  • This is not smart.  That you can say you've had one uncomplicated childbirth is a data point and not necessarily indicative that future pregnancies and birth experiences will also be uncomplicated. 

    Could everything be fine?  Sure.  Is that a risk you want to take?  Having a Dr. as a husband is great IF he has all medical equipment with him.  If you go into premature labor, start to hemorrhage or need an emergency caesarian do you think he can imagine up some pain medication and an epidural from his suitcase? 

    IMO - you should cancel yourself and tell the rest of the family to go without you.  If you really want this trip can't you consider going a month or two earlier or 2 months later?   
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    On the one hand, I'm usually on the side of adults make decisions for themselves, especially medical ones.

    But the LW is being so foolish with her convoluted reasoning, that it's hard for me to take her seriously.

    She also lists one of her reasons as to why it's safe is because her H is a doctor.  Yet, I can't help but notice she doesn't mention once what he thinks.  HER "risk assessment" is it's minimal.  If any.  I actually find those two words extra infuriating.  No pregnancy is risk-free.  Bad, life endangering stuff can happen at the last minute, even for the smoothest and safest pregnancies.

    Her own doctor said it was "pushing it", so it doesn't seem like they think it's NBD either.

    I'd bet just about everyone on this board can tell a story about when a pregnancy didn't go smoothly and medical help was quickly needed (like @flantastic).

    Here's mine.  When my mom was pregnant with me, she was a young (25) woman in perfect health.  Smooth, uncomplicated pregnancy.  But during delivery, one of her veins ruptured and she started bleeding internally.  She didn't have much time before the blood loss would have killed her.  But, thankfully, she was already in a hospital where they could quickly give her blood and fix the damage.
    Exactly! DD almost died because she hemorrhaged when the twins were born (this also happens in singleton births- the doctor said it wasn't tied to her having twins). If she hadn't been in the hospital she would've died and left two little babies motherless because they were fine. 
  • Not the same situation but a family member thought that after two c sections that she could have a home birth and was lead to believe that this was attainable by her midwives.  We sadly attended the funeral for that child who was stillborn as the result of complications in childbirth that started at home and mom was not without her own medical set of issues as well.   

    At 36 weeks I traveled two hours away from home for a wedding and the only reason why I considered it an acceptable risk was because 1) we had our vehicle and could start to drive home at a moment's notice and 2) The wedding was in NYC and our home is in CT and we had numerous hospitals minutes away from where we are no matter where we were.   There was no way we'd be a helicopter ride away from help at that state. 
  • Me, personally?  I don't ever want to be somewhere so remote that it is a helicopter ride away from medical services, lol.

    I'm starting to wonder if this is a fake letter.
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  • This is irresponsible. If LW wants to take a trip like this plan it earlier in the pregnancy or wait until after the baby is born. Sorrynotsorry you’re risking yourself and the baby and you could be putting your husband in the awful position of having to potential try and care for his wife and his child in a medical emergency. 
  • VarunaTTVarunaTT member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    I still remember almost losing BtP (old Knottie) to a massive hemorrhage complication.

    This woman is risking her life for a dream vacation.  I get it, it's going to hurt, emotionally.  But emotional hurt, if this case, is better than the very real risks.
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Outside of being irresponsible, this doesn't sound like any fun at all. I know, I know, I've never been pregnant and everyone is different, but 36 weeks isn't exactly comfortable for most people. An important vacation for cultural reasons to a remote location suggests something that doesn't exactly involve a lot of creature comforts. I'm envisioning a lot of mosquitos and very few clean public bathrooms.
  • MesmrEweMesmrEwe member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Within an easy 4 hour drive from the home hospital - go for it!  Helicopter ride to get to the super remote away from hospital care of any type destination, 36 weeks - NOPE!!!
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