An abuse apologist is not a friend.

mrsconn23 · August 2021

Dear Prudence,

I recently left a five-year relationship with one of my best friends’ cousins, who was physically and emotionally abusive. I am mad that I stayed so long. I used to confide in my best friend about almost all of the things her cousin did to me from cheating to being physically abusive—think black eyes and bruises on my body. She said a couple of things that were off-putting. She said that I “make him out to be the bad guy” and he “probably cheats because you’re always accusing him.” I have changed my number and blocked him on every platform available and am thinking about doing the same with her. What do you think about me ending the relationship with her as well? He will always be her family, and I don’t want her to pick sides, but I don’t want to ever hear his name mentioned again. I am wondering if my fresh start would be better without her as well.

— Ending a Long Friendship

charlotte989875 · August 2021

Your so called friend is hearing the abuse you’ve suffered and has chosen to try and make you feel bad about doing what you needed to keep yourself safe. She’s not a friend and you shouldn’t feel the least bit bad about cutting her out. She has made the choice that protecting him is important than your safety.

short+sassy · August 2021

I don't care if he is the BFF's family. A real friend would have been horrified that her BFF was being physically abused and cheated on, no matter who the b/f was. A toxic friend who is trying to act like all of that was NBD is not someone the LW wants to stay in contact with either.