Wedding Woes

Wildly nervous Weds

mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited August 25 in Wedding Woes
DH is on a major interview right now and it's a 4 hours on a zoom type thing (but the company's internal video service).  Neither one of us slept well last night.  We also had very middling bcbc because we couldn't get out of our heads.  What's crazy is he already has an offer he's accepted in hand, plus he turned in his notice yesterday and his current company promptly freaked the fuck out.  He has an internal interview tomorrow, but they're going to have to offer something very, very sweet for him to stay. 

So he's really in an excellent position.  However, the company he's interviewing with today is one of the biggest in the world and the salary would be life-changing in a sense because we could have the capability to do things we only 'dream' about or that seem really far off (trips, home improvement, etc).

In other news, DH's cousin texted me earlier this month to tell me she's no longer with her FI.  It was a little surprising since we'd just seen them last month and all seemed well.  But I found out additional details and it was pretty shocking at first.  However, I was never all in on her FI because he tripped my spidey senses.  The funny thing is that DH, BIL, and SIL were all, "Yeah, I never got it either."  I just feel bad for her because she lives very far from home and bought a house where they lived because it made it easy for him to see his daughter.  

Also, I stuck my foot in it at mom's memorial b/c my 2nd cousin showed up with his son and not his wife.  Apparently, they are no longer as well.  I saw them last in summer 2019 at mom's 60th bday bash and then life went off the cliff shortly after.  So I asked where his wife was and it was awkward AF.  I did ask my aunt, who is my grandpa's road trip partner, and she said grandpa let her know when they got in the car to leave TX.  So yeah, everyone was caught off guard...LOL .

SSDD otherwise . 
MNNEBrideVarunaTTILoveBeachMusic
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Re: Wildly nervous Weds

  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    All the vibes for Mr. Conn. That would be amazing!

    It's always so awkward with family and relationships ending. One of my cousins split from his wife last year and I guess wanted to avoid those conversations, so he announced his pending divorce on the family facebook group. That was even more awkward.

    Nothing much going on here. I'm stuck in too many meetings and distracting myself shoe shopping. I really have no interest in ever going back to the office and will be fine if they leave me home forever, but I do have to admit that I kind of miss having a place to wear cute shoes. 
    mrsconn23levioosaMNNEBride
  • @mrsconn23 whoo vibes Mr Conn!
    I have a love/hate for random bombshells dropped and no one knew anything and NO ONE HAS A DAMN BACKSTORY!
    mrsconn23
  • @mrsconn23, good luck to your H!  A 4-hour Zoom interview with multiple people sounds really stressful.  But "life changing salary" has a really nice ring to it, lol!  So I'll keep my fingers crossed for him.

    My neighbor friend is having her house tented.  She has a tenant who lives in a separate unit downstairs.  They are each the only person living in their respective homes.  Originally, she and her tenant were going to share the 2-bed AirBnB that's on the other side of my duplex.  It's two nights they cannot be in the house.  But, on Mon. night which was the day before the tenting, her tenant started being a PITA.  Talking about what an inconvenience it is and that she is going to miss 4 days of work...wth, why? she wouldn't miss even one day of work...and wanted a rent reduction for this month.

    Whoooaaa!  Your landlady is paying for a place for you to stay!  You either get a free place to stay or you get a rent reduction.  I don't know how anyone could think they are entitled to both.  Plus, at that point, it's too late.  The place is already booked.  It would have been much cheaper for my friend to have given her a rent reduction and she would have been happy to have offered that instead, IF her tenant had requested it before the AirBnB was booked.

    At any rate, because of all that, my friend was no longer comfortable staying there with her tenant and asked if she could set up a tent in our backyard.  She was serious.  That was via text on Mon.  I asked my H if he would mind if she slept on an air mattress in our front room.  But he did mind.  He doesn't dislike this neighbor, but she grates on and annoys him quickly.  Still, I thought he was being kind of a jerk.  But that's a "two yeses or it's a no" situation, so okay.  He was okay with the tent in the backyard or giving her the key to a rental vacancy we have at the moment.  The only problem with the latter is, although there is electricity, there is no running water.

    She and my H were hanging out when I got home from work.  She asked if it was still okay to stay in our rental and we said "of course!".  But then I remembered Harrahs gives me free hotel stays all the time that I never use!  I told her not to get her hopes up, but I would call to see if I could hook her up with a free or at least cheap hotel stay with them.  Score!  I was able to get two nights free for her.

    All in all, it turned into a fun night!  We all hung out on my front porch for a couple hours.  Then she and I went over to check her into the Harrahs hotel.  Technically, because it's my offer, I have to be the one to check-in but can also add her name to the room.

    One thing I was looking forward to was seeing her reaction when we got to the room.  She was excited just to have a place to stay, but I know how badass this hotel is and that I was able to get her a "river view" room.  This hotel is one block from the MS river.  Her room ended up being on the 18th floor and the view is unbelievable.  Plus, all the rooms have big, tall windows.

    After that, we went over to the casino (it's across the street) for a bite to eat and to play some video poker.  Yeesh, none of the food places were open.  Not even the hot dog cart, which was the last resort I thought I could count on, lol.  But we got some free drinks while we were playing.  She won $20 and I won $10.  Always nice to drink for free and have fun playing games...and then win a little money instead of losing it, for the cherry on top, lol.
    charlotte989875levioosaMNNEBridemrsconn23
  • levioosalevioosa Southern California member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Good vibes for MrConn! 

    I’m feeling pretty spent. I think FI and I are thinking of having a wedding instead of eloping? But now we have to come up with funds and it’s stressing me out. I wish we would have just gotten married like I originally wanted. Now I have conflicting thoughts and feelings as people are getting older and sick. Ugh. 

    I slept terribly last night. So today should be fun. I did Physical Therapy this morning and now I’m trying to drown myself in caffeine from Starbucks before work. Pumpkin spice is backkkk. I don’t care what the haters say, I love it. It doesn’t matter if it’s over 100 out, I’m ready for fall and I’m manifesting it by getting a fall drink. Ha. 
    charlotte989875mrsconn23MNNEBride
  • We've got our eyes on Penny today. She was very disinterested in breakfast today. She stayed upstairs until Matt got her {like physically got her} and then just ignored her bowl.

    We're keeping an eye on her later, maybe she just wasn't hungry?

    Also I witnessed Angel pee on the floor *eye roll*  He seemed not to realize and/or care it wasn't litter box.

    Good lord guys, these cats.
  • Oh!  This was interesting with the house tenting.  The company apparently has a "sniffer" terrier dog who will go under the house...for raised houses, we have a lot of those in NOLA...and bark if there is another animal under the house.  If the barking doesn't scare the other animal away, the employees doing the tenting will go under the house to shoo the animal away.

    Then, the company leaves an employee stationed in front of the house (in their vehicle) for 24/7, until the house is safe to be entered again.  It's to protect the homeowner's belongings.  But also to keep a hapless burglar that doesn't think to wear a gas mask from dying.

    The employee guarding my friends house had it going on!  He had a special homemade thingamajig he could attach/unattach to the back window of his truck, for an a/c window unit to sit on, lmao.  
    charlotte989875levioosa
  • @CharmedPam, I looked up the tv show "Relentless" and it does sound good.  I still haven't pulled the trigger on Discovery+, but I keep being tempted.

    I can't seem to post "clickable" links anymore.  But Tennessee has an "out of the box" idea to jumpstart tourism.  They are giving away 10,000 free flights to one of their four major cities!  There are conditions, but nothing too onerous.  Including booking at least two hotel nights and one of those nights needs to be a (Sun.-Thurs.).  And it's only one free flight per booking.

    But if any of you all are hankering for a vacay to Chattanooga, Nashville, Memphis, or Knoxville, then Google the "Tennessee on Me" program.  I'd be tempted if I wasn't already going to NYC in a few weeks.
    VarunaTT
  • Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    MyNameIsNotSTARMOON44
  • I keep thinking it’s Thursday. Like all day I’m thinking about Thursday standing meetings I have and remembering I have another day before them. 

    It’s super hot with a high heat index today. I’m so ready for this weather to break. 

    Interview tomorrow. I’m really not into it; I hate my current role but I love my company so I’m in a tough position. I don’t really want to leave but I can’t stay in this role much longer. 
    levioosaCasadena
  • Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    I feel like it's either/or though right?  If you're going to pay to put me up in a hotel at your cost then no reduction.  No hotel reimbursement?  Then I want the reduction.  

    It is going to be HOT here and DH is going out to trivia tonight with his group.   I am going to need to get TF out of the house so I'm debating doing an early dinner with the kids followed by swimming and ice cream.  Trips to the pool are just FULL of bags of towels, food, clothing, utensils and so much stuff.  I'm hoping if I can get them to eat super early it's bags of stuff that aren't needed and we can Blizzard it up before cooling off. 
  • All good vibes for Mr. Conn, @mrsconn23!!

    I just had to have a difficult conversation with one of my main attorneys.  I think it went okay and I think he understands the position he's putting me in.  Hopefully it finally gets through to him.

    Not too much going on here.  I am making myself go home early, clean, and cook.  I have people coming over on Saturday and my place needs to look respectable.
    mrsconn23charlotte989875MyNameIsNotlevioosa
  • banana468 said:
    Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    I feel like it's either/or though right?  If you're going to pay to put me up in a hotel at your cost then no reduction.  No hotel reimbursement?  Then I want the reduction.  

    It is going to be HOT here and DH is going out to trivia tonight with his group.   I am going to need to get TF out of the house so I'm debating doing an early dinner with the kids followed by swimming and ice cream.  Trips to the pool are just FULL of bags of towels, food, clothing, utensils and so much stuff.  I'm hoping if I can get them to eat super early it's bags of stuff that aren't needed and we can Blizzard it up before cooling off. 
    Eh, I’d say it’s both. I think it’s the landlord’s responsibility to house me for that time if I can’t be in the space that I am paying for it it’s not my fault I can’t be there. And compensate me for the time I can’t access my stuff. If I’m being displaced for something that isn’t my fault it’s their responsibility to house me, and I’m being inconvenienced for not being able to access my stuff/ work set up and should be compensated for that. 

    But I’m in NY where we have a lot of tenants rights. 
  • banana468 said:
    Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    I feel like it's either/or though right?  If you're going to pay to put me up in a hotel at your cost then no reduction.  No hotel reimbursement?  Then I want the reduction.  

    It is going to be HOT here and DH is going out to trivia tonight with his group.   I am going to need to get TF out of the house so I'm debating doing an early dinner with the kids followed by swimming and ice cream.  Trips to the pool are just FULL of bags of towels, food, clothing, utensils and so much stuff.  I'm hoping if I can get them to eat super early it's bags of stuff that aren't needed and we can Blizzard it up before cooling off. 
    Eh, I’d say it’s both. I think it’s the landlord’s responsibility to house me for that time if I can’t be in the space that I am paying for it it’s not my fault I can’t be there. And compensate me for the time I can’t access my stuff. If I’m being displaced for something that isn’t my fault it’s their responsibility to house me, and I’m being inconvenienced for not being able to access my stuff/ work set up and should be compensated for that. 

    But I’m in NY where we have a lot of tenants rights. 
    Got it.  I did a quick search and it looks like it may be the need in some states for landlords to do that.  They need to provide temporary housing and possibly meals if the housing does not include a kitchen.  Some require prorating the rent too.  I'm taking that to mean that if your rent is $800/mo and you're out 2 days then a reduction of approximately $52 is what you're entitled to.
    charlotte989875
  • banana468 said:
    Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    I feel like it's either/or though right?  If you're going to pay to put me up in a hotel at your cost then no reduction.  No hotel reimbursement?  Then I want the reduction.  

    It is going to be HOT here and DH is going out to trivia tonight with his group.   I am going to need to get TF out of the house so I'm debating doing an early dinner with the kids followed by swimming and ice cream.  Trips to the pool are just FULL of bags of towels, food, clothing, utensils and so much stuff.  I'm hoping if I can get them to eat super early it's bags of stuff that aren't needed and we can Blizzard it up before cooling off. 
    That's definitely how I feel.  And not even just how I feel, but is pretty standard in the rental industry.

    In fact, providing another place to stay goes above and beyond, under most landlord/tenant laws.  Depending on the circumstances, I might only offer a pro-rated reduction of the rent.  Plus, that's also what renter's insurance is for.

    The closest I have ever come to one of my rentals being briefly uninhabitable was when the main sewer line broke recently.  Except that was 0% on the "bad" of my property.  The tenant who recently moved out wanted me to rent her a hotel room.  No way, that's ridiculous.  I understand it's awful and inconvenient.  But it's also not my fault and that's what renter's insurance (RI) is for.  I don't require my tenant's have RI, but I highly recommend it and suggest it during every lease signing.  Especially for a city like NOLA that occasionally has mandatory hurricane evacuations.

    FWIW, I was on the renter's side of this years ago for exactly the same scenario.  Our landlady put us up in the B+B next door.  It never even occurred to us to ask for a rent reduction.  Ours was actually a worse situation in that we didn't have access to a kitchen.  Breakfast was provided by the establishment, but we were on our own for lunch and dinner.  Other than that, the only other "inconvenience" was taking 15-20 minutes to pack an overnight bag.

    For my friend's tenant, there is a kitchen.  She only needs to pack a bag.  Whether it's a homeowner or a tenant, maintenance and repairs will be needed at some point in time.  Sure, it is always inconvenient at some level.  I think this is a fairly minor level, considering a home two doors down was provided to her.  And while it's a rental owner's obligation to have those things taken care of as quickly as possible, it's unreasonable to expect a rent reduction for anytime a tenant is inconvenienced (not directed at anyone on this board).  With that said, sometimes I think it can be warranted and have occasionally done it myself.     
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I’d definitely want hotel reimbursement.  If I pay $1,500/month in rent, let’s say…and you just prorate me what I pay per night @ $50/night - and I have no one to move in with (which is 100% my case), there is no way I’m getting a hotel room at $50/night that doesn’t end up with a gruesome news story the next morning. Truth.
    charlotte989875levioosaMyNameIsNotSTARMOON44
  • I’d definitely want hotel reimbursement.  If I pay $1,500/month in rent, let’s say…and you just prorate me what I pay per night @ $50/night - and I have no one to move in with (which is 100% my case), there is no way I’m getting a hotel room at $50/night that doesn’t end up with a gruesome news story the next morning. Truth.
    This reminded me, being a Chicago person you should listen to the podcast Algorithm.  It's about a serial killer in the region, but it ties in Chicago too.  It starts with a gruesome murder that takes place in a seedy hotel.  It's very interesting.  
  • I’d definitely want hotel reimbursement.  If I pay $1,500/month in rent, let’s say…and you just prorate me what I pay per night @ $50/night - and I have no one to move in with (which is 100% my case), there is no way I’m getting a hotel room at $50/night that doesn’t end up with a gruesome news story the next morning. Truth.
    Overall, I agree with you.  But it's not both...unless local landlord/tenant laws dictate that and most don't, including here...and you'll also quickly start running into a lot of gray areas and extenuating circumstances.

    Because what is truly considered uninhabitable may not be the tenant's POV of what they think is uninhabitable.  I also don't mean my POV of uninhabitable.  I mean HUD's and local landlord/tenant law of what is uninhabitable.  

    Heat and a/c can be a big one that falls in that category.  NOLA laws don't require either one to be provided, which I actually find surprising, but they don't.  Most areas require at least heat.  Section 8 requirements....just to use an example of a gov't. agency...are that heat and a/c are fixed within 7 business days.    

    Then "fault" can also come into play.  Is the tenant at fault or partially at fault?  Like, the only toilet is not working because your child flushed army guys down it and I can't get a plumber there for two days?  Not only am I not doing a rent reduction or paying a dime toward a hotel room, but the tenant also needs to reimburse me for the plumbing visit.

    The power transformer near one of my rentals explodes and my tenant's are without power for a week.  That happened to my personal home about 10 yeas ago.  No rent reduction.  Not paying a dime for a hotel room.  That's what RI is for.  I already mentioned my recent story with the main sewer line breaking.  Same thing.

    If there was another mandatory evacuation...normally they're less than one week and not much happens (unfortunately, not always)...I wouldn't pay for a hotel.  I wouldn't give pro-rated rent back either, unless the home had been destroyed.  Same with a fire.  The tenant would promptly have their pro-rated rent back and their security deposit, but I'm not paying for a "who knows how long" hotel stay.  That's what RI is for.  Maybe one week at an extended stay, depending on the circumstances, but that's about the max.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I just started amazon podcasts! Is alogarithm on that? I could dig it.

    oh yeah I wouldn’t expect both hotel & discount. But I would be out money if it was just a rental discount or something.  I once lived in an apartment that had a fire overnight and we all had to evacuate.  It was literally in the middle of the night. I did go to my friends at that point.  Thankfully, we were allowed back in the next day.

    is rental insurance mandatory in some states?  It was never required when I was younger and renting.  However, the last place I rented had “highly recommended” it, so it was the first time I ever even heard of it or knew it was an option. Not sure if that law has changed nowadays. 
  • Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    Agreed and I’d find it bizarre to be invited to share an AirBnB with my landlord!
    charlotte989875short+sassyMyNameIsNotmrsconn23
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot Atlanta member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    banana468 said:
    Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    I feel like it's either/or though right?  If you're going to pay to put me up in a hotel at your cost then no reduction.  No hotel reimbursement?  Then I want the reduction.  

    It is going to be HOT here and DH is going out to trivia tonight with his group.   I am going to need to get TF out of the house so I'm debating doing an early dinner with the kids followed by swimming and ice cream.  Trips to the pool are just FULL of bags of towels, food, clothing, utensils and so much stuff.  I'm hoping if I can get them to eat super early it's bags of stuff that aren't needed and we can Blizzard it up before cooling off. 
    Eh, I’d say it’s both. I think it’s the landlord’s responsibility to house me for that time if I can’t be in the space that I am paying for it it’s not my fault I can’t be there. And compensate me for the time I can’t access my stuff. If I’m being displaced for something that isn’t my fault it’s their responsibility to house me, and I’m being inconvenienced for not being able to access my stuff/ work set up and should be compensated for that. 

    But I’m in NY where we have a lot of tenants rights. 
    Agree with this. Being forced out of my home is a huge inconvenience, even with a hotel provided. Beyond not being able to cook, it's not being able to access my things, unless they're small enough to be packed up and moved. As a homeowner, I accept that maintenance and risk is on me and if something happens I have to figure it out, but as a tenant I contracted for someone else to provide all of that. 
    charlotte989875STARMOON44flantastic
  • Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but I’d probably ask for a rent reduction because of the inconvenience of having to stay somewhere else for a few days. But so nice of you to help out the neighbor with a free hotel stay @short+sassy!! 
    Agreed and I’d find it bizarre to be invited to share an AirBnB with my landlord!
    Now THIS I agree with!  I didn't say anything to my friend, but I felt like that was a little weird.  Though I assume she at least asked her tenant if it would be okay.  It's not a typical landlady/tenant situation in that they live in the same duplex and interact a good bit.  But, at the same time, although they are friendly and the tenant is invited when my friend has a BBQ...I wouldn't go as far as to call them friends.   

    At least it is a moot point now.
    charlotte989875
  • I just started amazon podcasts! Is alogarithm on that? I could dig it.

    oh yeah I wouldn’t expect both hotel & discount. But I would be out money if it was just a rental discount or something.  I once lived in an apartment that had a fire overnight and we all had to evacuate.  It was literally in the middle of the night. I did go to my friends at that point.  Thankfully, we were allowed back in the next day.

    is rental insurance mandatory in some states?  It was never required when I was younger and renting.  However, the last place I rented had “highly recommended” it, so it was the first time I ever even heard of it or knew it was an option. Not sure if that law has changed nowadays. 
    It wasn't required when I rented (in CT) but highly recommended. 

    Friends of mine rented and came back from dinner to find that the half of a duplex they rented was on fire.  They lost everything and had no insurance so all replacing was at their cost. 

    Also, this pertains to college dormitories too.  If there is any kind of loss (fire, flood, etc.) then the university is not responsible for reimbursing the students for their lost items.  It's super cheap compared to homeowners ins.  
  • I just started amazon podcasts! Is alogarithm on that? I could dig it.

    oh yeah I wouldn’t expect both hotel & discount. But I would be out money if it was just a rental discount or something.  I once lived in an apartment that had a fire overnight and we all had to evacuate.  It was literally in the middle of the night. I did go to my friends at that point.  Thankfully, we were allowed back in the next day.

    is rental insurance mandatory in some states?  It was never required when I was younger and renting.  However, the last place I rented had “highly recommended” it, so it was the first time I ever even heard of it or knew it was an option. Not sure if that law has changed nowadays. 
    There aren't any cities/counties/states that require it.  But a lot of landlords and property management (PM) companies require their tenants to carry renter's insurance.  It certainly helps the tenant in the case of an unexpected event, but it also protects the landlord if the tenant causes a lot of damage.  Though it seems like there are a lot of exclusions for that last part.   
  • banana468 said:

    Friends of mine rented and came back from dinner to find that the half of a duplex they rented was on fire.  They lost everything and had no insurance so all replacing was at their cost. 

    Also, this pertains to college dormitories too.  If there is any kind of loss (fire, flood, etc.) then the university is not responsible for reimbursing the students for their lost items.  It's super cheap compared to homeowners ins.  

    SIB:

    And renter's insurance actually covers all kinds of stuff.  Including theft and that is theft of any kind, not just at your house.

    I had my car broken into years ago and some stuff was stolen out of it.  My car insurance covered the damage to my car, but not the stolen contents.  But my renter's insurance covered the stolen contents.

    Homeowner property insurance generally doesn't cover floods.  You need a separate flood policy for that.  But renter's insurance does.

    I had an RI policy when Hurricane Katrina flooded NOLA.  It paid for the first two weeks of my hotel stay, plus a daily per diem for meals.  But two weeks was the max.  Although the house we were living in didn't flood, we lost the contents of our refrigerator and belongings that were in the back shed.  They also paid the replacement costs for all of that, including my insulin that had been in the refrigerator.  Actually, for the other contents of the fridge, they just gave a set amount of $600 which felt fair.
  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Yup.  You’re gonna notice when $200/month is gone out or your bank account.
    ILoveBeachMusicMNNEBride
  • banana468 said:
    Changing gears, related to the discussion we had a week or so ago on how businesses are handling the vaccine - Delta is now fining employees $200/mo if they do not get vaccinated:

    https://www.cnbc.com/2021/08/25/delta-air-lines-unvaccinated-employees-will-face-200-fees-if-they-dont-get-covid-vaccine.html 


    So good, I hope we start seeing other companies follow suit. If they won’t mandate it at least make it financially harder to avoid getting it. 
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