Dear Prudence,
A couple years ago, I moved back to my hometown for a great job offer. It was a promotion that would allow me to get my foot in the door and get a position at a better company a year or two later. The company didn’t do very well during the pandemic and had to close. I was lucky enough to find a similar position that could be remote because the new company was located in a city that was far too expensive for me to live in comfortably. I’m still living in my hometown, but I’m living a kind of half-life. My hometown is good for a short period of time, but after a while, I just have to get out. Because I knew I would only be here for a year or two, I really didn’t do a good job of putting down any roots and then the pandemic hit. I’m not sure if I would want to move at this point, I think the pandemic is getting bad again, but I would like to find a new job by this spring.
There’s a little wrinkle though: I just met a great guy. He’s so fun and enjoyable and I haven’t made a connection with anybody like this in such a long time. He’s been pursuing me pretty heavily for a few weeks now, but I keep brushing him off, telling him that I don’t want to stay here very much longer. He thinks that won’t be a big deal but he loves my hometown. I’ve resisted creating any meaningful relationships because I knew I’d probably be moving around a bit for about five years until I can find a more stable position. I’m realizing it makes it hard for me to build relationships. With this guy, it’s worse because I feel like I could get really close with him and the relationship could end up making me waffle on leaving this town. At the same time, it’s just so hard not to be close with anybody. So, I guess I have two questions: Is it worth it to start dating this guy, and how do I create meaningful relationships with people in general when I know I will probably be moving away in a year or two?
— Ending Before Starting