I just left my very short marriage after he said that he felt I was “asking him to hit me.” He normally does have a short fuse, but during our time living together prior to our wedding, he seemed to really try, and made big changes. After the wedding, not only did he start to shut down every conversation, he started to blame me for things I had little if any control over. He stopped doing what little he did around the apartment. We had fights every weekend, no matter how “good” I tried to be. I am normally anxious, and my first marriage ended in that husband choking me as my baby cried at him to stop. I admit that I take any threat very seriously.
This husband has finally said sorry, and we are texting. It has been hard, but I do want to make this work, yet I am not only skeptical, I am worried I am being naive. My family, friends, and coworkers who saw how bad I was at the end, before I left, do not want me to go back. I don’t want to go back to that either. I don’t really know how to sort out my anxiety, and legitimate fears. EVERYONE says to leave at a threat, but now that I have, I worry I overreacted. Abusive helplines say leave, but then without there being physical abuse, not many supports are offered. I feel like I am supposed to leave them for “real” victims, and that makes me feel like maybe I am the odd one? Yet even if not, how do I know he has changed, and how would this convince my loved ones to trust I am safe?