Sister needs to take responsibility

Casadena

I share a side business as a dog walker and pet sitter with three other people. We will trade off our regular clients as our schedules change. It has worked pretty well for the past two years.

My sister got a high energy rescue when she first started to telecommute during COVID. Once in a while, she would ask me to help out and walk her dog, which I happily did. Only now, her company is returning back to the office, and my sister doesn’t like having to use her lunch hour to run home to walk her pooch. I was sympathetic at first, but she has become increasingly more and more demanding—including calling me at the last minute and complaining when I am with clients. I have told her she needs to adjust her schedule or pay someone else to do it. My company doesn’t take on friends or family after a bad, bad incident with one of my co-worker’s family (involving small claims court).

A few weeks ago, two of my coworkers had family emergencies, leaving me to do the bulk of the runs with our regular clients. I was up at dawn and driving all around town like crazy. My only day off was in the middle of the week, so I planned to sleep in and laze around. I turned my phone off. I took a nap, only to get woken up by my sister banging on my door. She was furious that I had turned off my phone. She had an emergency at work and was gone all day. Her dog went stir crazy and ripped up the couch.

My sister blames me, and we ended up fighting there on my doorstep. I told her to leave and shut the door in her face. I am still not speaking to her. Her idea of an apology is the kind offer to let me go halfsies on getting her a new couch. My sister has been telling our family she might have to get rid of her dog because he is too much for her now and she is getting no help. Especially from me. Our mother’s birthday is coming up, and I know my sister is going to pick a fight. What can I do?

charlotte989875

Let her pick a fight and look ridiculous in front of everyone. You’ve helped her where you could and she took advantage of you. She’s an irresponsible pet owner for choosing not to do any of the many options she has; adjust her schedule, hire her own walker, take the dog to doggy daycare, ask for a WFH option. She’s choosing to try and make you responsible for her life choices. I might point out she has many she’s not doing. 

levioosa

I want to slap sister. 

banana468

Do not engage or fight. 

Similar to the other LW with the two kids (although the kids are not a pet) the sister CHOSE to get a dog.  The LW did not commit to being an unpaid dog walker.

If the sister wanted to push things I'd be clear, "You did not make advance and booked arrangements to have YOUR dog walked.  When the dog YOU chose to get damaged your furniture, it is not my responsibility because you were not able to meet your obligations as a pet owner." 

If it's going to be so bad that it impacts mom's birthday then don't go to mom's birthday.

mrsconn23

Your sister sucks. IDK if I'd even try to engage in logic with her regarding her choices.  She clearly doesn't care.  I'd only just keep the line that her dog isn't your responsibility. 

Regarding mom's bday, either refuse to engage or if you really don't want to deal with her then make arrangements for solo time with mom.  

climbingsingle

The sister is an ahole. Let her pick a fight. Keep your calm and let her look ridiculous. Her dog is her responsibility. No one else's! 

kvruns

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

banana468

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

kvruns

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

I feel like I read an article semi-recently about animals being returned to shelters bc people adopted them while being stuck at home but now that they are returning to work they realize they don't want to put in the work to making it doable while gone all day

VarunaTT

This makes me mad.  I so miss having dogs in my life; I also recognize that I don't have a lifestyle right now conducive to having a dog.  People need to be more thoughtful in their actions.

Also, I now encourage friends to bring their dogs when they come to visit. 

banana468

kvruns said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

I feel like I read an article semi-recently about animals being returned to shelters bc people adopted them while being stuck at home but now that they are returning to work they realize they don't want to put in the work to making it doable while gone all day

That is not surprising.  I think we're in a society where we don't always think long term plans and that can be a benefit of being flexible unless there's another life involved.  

Every year it happened long before COVID with people talking about the runs on bunnies at Easter (they aren't great pets for most!) and Dalmatians 30 years ago when people realized they don't stay cute puppies.   

kerbohl

The bunnies at Easter sadden me.  How do I get all the rabbits I own (aside from my two "accidents")?  I wait for people to get bored with them.  3 years seems to be the sweet spot - people have them for three years, and then "I don't have the time", "I'm moving", "my situation has changed".  
Lately on the classifieds, there are so many people breeding and selling rabbits in my area.  I think they started it as a side hussle with the pandemic.  There are going to be so many miserable rabbits out there, it breaks my heart.  

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

I feel like I read an article semi-recently about animals being returned to shelters bc people adopted them while being stuck at home but now that they are returning to work they realize they don't want to put in the work to making it doable while gone all day

That is not surprising.  I think we're in a society where we don't always think long term plans and that can be a benefit of being flexible unless there's another life involved.  

Every year it happened long before COVID with people talking about the runs on bunnies at Easter (they aren't great pets for most!) and Dalmatians 30 years ago when people realized they don't stay cute puppies.   

There are so many kinds of dogs I want but won't get for the long term situation
Ex: huskies are beauties but have to be regularly groomed and personally I find it unfair with our heat

M grew up with sheppards so unless I can convince him otherwise, he wants one of those.
As I've said, he needs to learn more on care and long term issues.

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

I feel like I read an article semi-recently about animals being returned to shelters bc people adopted them while being stuck at home but now that they are returning to work they realize they don't want to put in the work to making it doable while gone all day

That is not surprising.  I think we're in a society where we don't always think long term plans and that can be a benefit of being flexible unless there's another life involved.  

Every year it happened long before COVID with people talking about the runs on bunnies at Easter (they aren't great pets for most!) and Dalmatians 30 years ago when people realized they don't stay cute puppies.   

There are so many kinds of dogs I want but won't get for the long term situation
Ex: huskies are beauties but have to be regularly groomed and personally I find it unfair with our heat

M grew up with sheppards so unless I can convince him otherwise, he wants one of those.
As I've said, he needs to learn more on care and long term issues.

The other issue with a Shepherds is that at least in the US, some homeowners' insurance companies will not write you a policy if you own one.  That's a major issue if there's an incident. 

MissKittyDanger

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

I feel like I read an article semi-recently about animals being returned to shelters bc people adopted them while being stuck at home but now that they are returning to work they realize they don't want to put in the work to making it doable while gone all day

That is not surprising.  I think we're in a society where we don't always think long term plans and that can be a benefit of being flexible unless there's another life involved.  

Every year it happened long before COVID with people talking about the runs on bunnies at Easter (they aren't great pets for most!) and Dalmatians 30 years ago when people realized they don't stay cute puppies.   

There are so many kinds of dogs I want but won't get for the long term situation
Ex: huskies are beauties but have to be regularly groomed and personally I find it unfair with our heat

M grew up with sheppards so unless I can convince him otherwise, he wants one of those.
As I've said, he needs to learn more on care and long term issues.

The other issue with a Shepherds is that at least in the US, some homeowners' insurance companies will not write you a policy if you own one.  That's a major issue if there's an incident. 

I don't believe any insurance can say no because of dogs. We have more issues with pitbulls in Ontario {illegal I mean} but I know a few people with sheppards and only thing they say is "oh they're high energy"

banana468

MissKittyDanger said:

banana468 said:

MissKittyDanger said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

banana468 said:

kvruns said:

can I just have a big eye roll at the sister. Clearly she's in over her head with the dog but wants to blame everyone else instead

This is why shelters can lean so far the other way when it comes to who can get a pet.  IMO there are way too many people who become pet owners who do not think through all the responsibilities involved. 

I feel like I read an article semi-recently about animals being returned to shelters bc people adopted them while being stuck at home but now that they are returning to work they realize they don't want to put in the work to making it doable while gone all day

That is not surprising.  I think we're in a society where we don't always think long term plans and that can be a benefit of being flexible unless there's another life involved.  

Every year it happened long before COVID with people talking about the runs on bunnies at Easter (they aren't great pets for most!) and Dalmatians 30 years ago when people realized they don't stay cute puppies.   

There are so many kinds of dogs I want but won't get for the long term situation
Ex: huskies are beauties but have to be regularly groomed and personally I find it unfair with our heat

M grew up with sheppards so unless I can convince him otherwise, he wants one of those.
As I've said, he needs to learn more on care and long term issues.

The other issue with a Shepherds is that at least in the US, some homeowners' insurance companies will not write you a policy if you own one.  That's a major issue if there's an incident. 

I don't believe any insurance can say no because of dogs. We have more issues with pitbulls in Ontario {illegal I mean} but I know a few people with sheppards and only thing they say is "oh they're high energy"

It's possible that the ones in Canada work differently than in the US but it's absolutely worth looking into before buying a dog (or the house). 

short+sassy

banana468 said:

The other issue with a Shepherds is that at least in the US, some homeowners' insurance companies will not write you a policy if you own one.  That's a major issue if there's an incident. 

My homeowner's insurance dropped all coverage for dogs a few years ago.  But, before that, it had breed restrictions.

banana468

short+sassy said:

banana468 said:

The other issue with a Shepherds is that at least in the US, some homeowners' insurance companies will not write you a policy if you own one.  That's a major issue if there's an incident. 

My homeowner's insurance dropped all coverage for dogs a few years ago.  But, before that, it had breed restrictions.

That's what I've seen as well.  I think Canadian ins. companies will do this as well but my experience tells me a lot of people do not think about adding a pet to the homeowner's ins. and find out when it's too late. 

It's a non-point for us in our home because we won't be dog owners but we keep on top of the policies for our condo because of the changing policies of the HOA.