"Please find something else to concern yourself with."

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

I am in a new job as a teacher, and a part of this position is that I have a “mentor teacher” who acts as an advisor and helps me with general teaching practice and acclimating to the school. Generally, we get along really well and have similar approaches to our classes. I really value his input, and he is very kind, helpful, and supportive.

But, there is one truly bizarre thing that keeps happening. He will frequently make comments on how much I eat, and specifically how I need to eat more. I thought I could just shrug it off. I usually bring a sandwich and a snack to school to eat during my preps, but I live close by and will sometimes go home to eat lunch or just wait until after school. I don’t feel hungry or like I need to make a change to my habits. As an adult, I think I should be able to choose when I eat and what is good for me. Yet, he will frequently ask when I am going to eat lunch, or try to have a conversation with me about how I should carve the time out in the day to eat more. He even said he is worried I do not eat enough. I will make it a point now to eat my food when he is in the room.

Most recently, I brought snacks for the teachers. When many of us were sitting, talking, and eating them (including me!). He very seriously asked me if I had remembered to bring lunch today and when I would eat it. I felt embarrassed to have this conversation in front of everyone, and did not really know how to respond. Is this normal? Should I be concerned about my habits? Should I just bring another sandwich and suck it up? I am at a loss for how to address this.

— Full

banana468

"I can assure you that food is covered. "

Depending on how this is flowing I'd consider saying, "I appreciate your concerns however this is not an issue."  

If it continues then it's likely that this will need to go up a food chain to document w/ principal and union rep. 

Casadena

"Please stop asking me about my food intake.  I have it covered."

mrsconn23

I feel bad for this LW.  It's thrown them for a loop and also, it's so much with the fact that he's training them and positioned himself as an authority.  I wonder if there's another teacher LW has connected with that they can check themselves against and be all, "WTF is his deal?"   But LW is well within their right to look at him and be all, "I'm good with my diet/food intake." and then *blank stare*. 

flantastic

"I appreciate that you may have seen a number of new teachers who get so busy they forget to eat, or eat well. Thanks for your concern. But my food intake is covered, so you really don't need to ever bring it up again."

charlotte989875

flantastic said:

"I appreciate that you may have seen a number of new teachers who get so busy they forget to eat, or eat well. Thanks for your concern. But my food intake is covered, so you really don't need to ever bring it up again."

This! 

I wonder if there’s more to this; like if there’s been a problem in the past where teachers weren’t taking time for lunch, or felt pressured to eat while working. He’s definitely going about it WAY wrong. 

That said LW should make it clear she’s all set and that she will come to him if she feels her schedule is not conducive to appropriate breaks. 

MyNameIsNot

"Please stop commenting on my food and eating habits. It's none of your business."

This is really weird and makes me super uncomfortable. 

climbingsingle

Ugh, how awkward and weird. 

I have a coworker that always used to comment on my lunch. Every day asking me what I was eating (honestly never something exciting: salad, grilled chicken and veggies). Then even poking fun at my healthy eating habits. I tried to politely tell her to cut it out and she just didn't get the hint. Finally one day I just turned to her and said "why are you so obsessed with what I'm eating every day?" And then she stopped. 

short+sassy

I used to share an office with a guy that always bad-mouthed my Monster or any other diet drinks I had.  He wasn't even anti-soda.  He was anti-artificial sweetener and would always talk about how it was better to drink the full sugar versions.  He knew perfectly well I was diabetic and I'd remind him I can't drink the full sugar versions.  I'd also tell him, while I realize artificial sweeteners aren't the greatest, I'm also not concerned about them and don't care.  No idea why he felt the need to comment about my drinks multiple times a month.

And the irony with Mr. Health Food?  His usual lunch was a 40oz. smoothie.  I looked it up once.  116 sugar carbs, in one drink.  But did I ever mention that he consumes more sugar over one lunch than I do over 4 days of meals?  No, I didn't.  Because it isn't my business what he eats, even though he made so many comments to me.