Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions
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opinions please!!!!!

Fi and i are planning our september wedding and hsve some ideas that i want to make sure is not over the top

 Our wedding is a military/Catholic wedding. So Rich will be wearing his uniform, for the ceremony and the first dance- which is right after we enter. the wedding is a romantic atosphere and theme is past present future- we known each other 19 years! so here is my question are these clashing, or to over the top?

the first thing is we are having a memorial flower arrangement with a candle in the middle of it (lite) that will be transfered from the ceremony to the reception is it to much for us to set up a table (like people will be sitting there) but have the memorial flowers/candle in center, and the china (cups upside down/napkins folded on the plates) be to much? they often do this for MIA or fallen soliders but this is for many family and friends- military and non-military- is this to much?

the second thing is- Rich and i are thinking of our first dance be a song wrote by cousins be sung by my cousins about my grandparents (granpa was Navy and served in pearl harbor) and both my grandma and grandpa passed away years ago- and i want to do this in memory of them, but also as a promise to my husband- the song is called By your side- and it is about being by his side is always where ill be, no matter how far away he needs to be.

third- Even though we are having a semi-formal wedding and very romantic and memoriable, i want a grooms cake that is 100 percent different than the wedding- i want it to be all sports- our hometown minor teams and some of his favorite teams- ie colts, cubs, tincaps (local baseball team) and Komets (local hockey team) is it complely wrong to do this?

thanks advance
~my new planning bio~ ~I am proud to be in love with a American Solider- He's a true American hero~ ~"When i close my eyes by your side is where i'll always be"~

Re: opinions please!!!!!

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    edited July 2010
    Let me know if I miss anything! I'm not sure why your FI wearing his uniform would be a problem? Dress uniforms are lovely!

    I think for the memorial candle thing, I'd maybe put that either at your escort card table, guest book table, or cake table rather thanhaving a whole table with empty chairs... people may not realize and sit there later in the evening, offending some people, and non-military won't understand what the meaning of an entire empty table is and may think you just had people not show up.  It's lovely to remember those you've lost, but you don't want one table having the memorial "sad" centerpiece. That would be odd, IMO.

     I'd choose a different song for your first dance with your husband- something you'd hear again and again later in life...

     Then have your cousins sing their song, with all the couples on the floor. Have them step off a group at a time, based on how long they've been together (if you're not yet married, please leave the floor... if you've been married less than 5 years, please leave the floor...)- whatever couple is the last on the floor, you give your bouquet to. You and H stay on the floor the whole time.

    I think a grooms cake can be as crazy as you want it to be, and it's always still appropriate.
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    So, If I were at a wedding with a military serviceman I would expect him to be in his dress uniform.  So thumbs up on that.

    I totally get your idea behind the memorial table, but it may be a little much.  We are doing a frame on one of the entry tables with a typed something that says  "We would like to remember our loved ones who could not be with us today." And we would list them like my mom, my grandma, my grandpa, and all 4 of his grandparents.  I'll have a single red rose by the frame (my grandma's favorite) and have a small candle.  It's there, it's to honor them, but it's not an overwhelming kind of display.

    The song sounds neat.  Very original.  Is there a way for your cousins to record it?  It would be awesome to have it so you can play it whenever you want to.

    Go for it with the groom's cake!

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    Personally I think you are planning way to much memorial stuff. A wedding is a celebration and about your future. I don't think it is appropriate to turn a wedding into a memorial for lost loved ones. That is a downer.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_opinions-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:57a135b4-b19d-46bf-ba19-059d5ce79671Post:d3d2d49f-5f62-4f96-96f0-9a953dfa61ac">opinions please!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Fi and i are planning our september wedding and hsve some ideas that i want to make sure is not over the top  Our wedding is a military/Catholic wedding. So Rich will be wearing his uniform, for the ceremony and the first dance- which is right after we enter. the wedding is a romantic atosphere and theme is past present future- we known each other 19 years! so here is my question are these clashing, or to over the top?

     the first thing is we are having a memorial flower arrangement with a candle in the middle of it (lite) that will be transfered from the ceremony to the reception is it to much for us to set up a table (like people will be sitting there) but have the memorial flowers/candle in center, and the china (cups upside down/napkins folded on the plates) be to much? they often do this for MIA or fallen soliders but this is for many family and friends- military and non-military- is this to much? <strong> I think this sounds like too much.  It's your wedding, and I think you want it to be celebratory.  While it's fine to remember loved ones, I have a concern about turning a wedding into a memorial service.  And this comes from someone who lost her mom 3 weeks before our DD's wedding, AND DD's new DH had lost his dad 9 months before the wedding.</strong>   <strong>A memorial candle during the service is one thing.  Nove the candle to a table in the entrance of the reception venue if you'd like.  But creating an entire table with upside down coffee cups and napkins on the plate is just a very uncomfortable thought for me.
    </strong>
     the second thing is- Rich and i are thinking of our first dance be a song wrote by cousins be sung by my cousins about my grandparents (granpa was Navy and served in pearl harbor) and both my grandma and grandpa passed away years ago- and i want to do this in memory of them, but also as a promise to my husband- the song is called By your side- and it is about being by his side is always where ill be, no matter how far away he needs to be.  C<strong>an you have the song sung before the ceremony or at some point in your ceremony?  I think it's more appropriate there than as your first dance.</strong>


    third- Even though we are having a semi-formal wedding and very romantic and memoriable, i want a grooms cake that is 100 percent different than the wedding- i want it to be all sports- our hometown minor teams and some of his favorite teams- ie colts, cubs, tincaps (local baseball team) and Komets (local hockey team) is it complely wrong to do this? <strong>Groom's cake idea sounds great to me.
    </strong>
    thanks advance
    Posted by jcoder001[/QUOTE]
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    Thanks for the advice-

     I guess the memorial table is more of the "military" side and not as many people understand it, So we will not have it and it will be up at the entrance or maybe on cake table.

    The song is recorded, and we hear it everyday- This song is played at least once a day in my household,and it is played several times a day when fi is at Military guard duty.


    ~my new planning bio~ ~I am proud to be in love with a American Solider- He's a true American hero~ ~"When i close my eyes by your side is where i'll always be"~
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_opinions-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:57a135b4-b19d-46bf-ba19-059d5ce79671Post:5bf677a1-0d1a-40aa-824f-34d443ff8385">Re: opinions please!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the advice-  I guess the memorial table is more of the "military" side and not as many people understand it, So we will not have it and it will be up at the entrance or maybe on cake table. T<strong>he song is recorded, and we hear it everyday- This song is played at least once a day in my household,and it is played several times a day when fi is at Military guard duty.</strong>
    Posted by jcoder001[/QUOTE]

    Ah, in that case, go for it!
  • Options
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_opinions-please-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:57a135b4-b19d-46bf-ba19-059d5ce79671Post:5bf677a1-0d1a-40aa-824f-34d443ff8385">Re: opinions please!!!!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Thanks for the advice-  I guess the memorial table is more of the "military" side and not as many people understand it, So we will not have it and it will be up at the entrance or maybe on cake table. The song is recorded, and we hear it everyday- This song is played at least once a day in my household,and it is played several times a day when fi is at Military guard duty.
    Posted by jcoder001[/QUOTE]

    Then it sounds like the perfect song to describe your relationship, and I would definitly stick with it.  As for the memorial, I think the scaled back version is a very thoughtful way to remember the loved ones who could not be there without making the reception look somber.  Good luck with everything. :)
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    this is coming from someone in a military family...

    dress blues are a must!!!
    the memorial table is a wonderful idea but it is also going to be difficult for those that are remembering the loved ones lost, my cousin was killed in active duty one year ago and one of my close friends as well... my brother may be missing my wedding as he may be overseas... so i am having a memorial candle as well with the words "In Loving Memory - This light shines as a symbol of a life and love remembered"
    the grooms cake Absolutely!!!!!!!
    and yes the song cung by your cousins will be a perfect homeage to you, your family past, present and future!!!
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    We don't have the benefit of hearing this cousin's song so we can't honestly comment. Songs that tell stories aren't a good idea for your first dance. The first dance is suppose to be the focal point and not straining to figure out the words and story of a song. The song is really just in the background. Honestly, how good of singers are your cousins? Do you want your guests focusing on your first dance or on your cousins singing?
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