Dear Prudence,
I (she/her) just moved to the same city as my ex, and I’m debating reaching out. We dated for four months. Things were going well—he even mentioned me meeting his family. When he got made redundant, he put on a brave face but I sensed his despair. He started behaving oddly, replying less and canceling a date without rearranging. It hurt. I raised it and he apologized, saying maybe it wasn’t a good time.
We crossed paths two months later, and he announced he was moving cities. I cried all day. He came over before he went, apologized, and said his behavior had nothing to do with me—his head was a mess. We got close, and he promised he’d come around one more time. He canceled.
A year later I accepted my dream job—in his city. Two months in, I started thinking about him again. I feel like his redundancy cut things short between us—but what if he just wasn’t into me? I can’t face a third rejection. I deleted his number but think DMing him would look a little… clingy. (We never followed each other.) I also have no idea of his relationship status. What would you advise?
—In Two Minds