Why would you follow your therapist online?

mrsconn23

Dear Prudence,

My therapist recently launched an Instagram account to promote his practice. He’s good at what he does—I am almost done with a year of EMDR which has dramatically improved my complex PTSD—but the social media is chaotic. Think, “Forgot which client I am seeing at 9 a.m.—let’s see who shows up!” He also just came back from parental leave for his first kid, so he has become less reliable. To which I am sympathetic—babies get sick! —but he’s canceled multiple times or had to move our sessions virtual. Which happened at the same time that he issued a new cancellation policy for his clients “because as a small business owner” he needs to “protect his income.” No problem with that, but he’s the flake right now! How do I bring this up? Or do I just let it go since I’m almost done with therapy?

—Therapist is Chaotic on Main

charlotte989875

You bring it up by saying “we’ve canceled x of y sessions, and moved online. I’m concerned this may compromise the progress we’ve made. Can we discuss what sessions will look like moving forward?” See what he says. If he’s chaotic and defensive in his reply it’s time to look for someone new. 

short+sassy

It seems like following their therapist's IG is not conducive to their own mental health.  Unfollowing is the first thing they should do.

I know I would be put off if my therapist was talking about not being able to keep track of which patients have what appointments.

Him becoming less reliable is something to bring up.  But at the same time, I'd think it would be a lot more upheaval to find a new therapist, especially since the LW feels their therapy needs are coming to a close.  So if it were me, I wouldn't rock the boat too much and continue to put up with it, even if it doesn't change.

MyNameIsNot

This IG account is ill-advised at best. I can see where a therapist might start an account for marketing purposes, but then you would want to post things that would make people want to hire you! 

But I'm not sure the IG account is the real problem here. The flakey therapist is. The amount of time left would be the decision maker for me about whether/how to approach. 

levioosa

I fired my last therapist because she was flaky. It’s not like therapy is a spa day I’m super excited about in the first place. It’s health care. I’m respecting your time by showing up on time to our appointments and not canceling apart from serious reasons, you can do the same. If LWs therapist is becoming unreliable I would ask about it and then move on if they’re defensive. 

Oh and I also fired her because she told me my brother could probably get better if we sent him to a shaman down in Costa Rica. 

charlotte989875

levioosa said:

I fired my last therapist because she was flaky. It’s not like therapy is a spa day I’m super excited about in the first place. It’s health care. I’m respecting your time by showing up on time to our appointments and not canceling apart from serious reasons, you can do the same. If LWs therapist is becoming unreliable I would ask about it and then move on if they’re defensive. 

Oh and I also fired her because she told me my brother could probably get better if we sent him to a shaman down in Costa Rica. 

Seriously?? 

I’d like to think I’d ask some immediate follow up questions to that but I might be so shocked I wouldn’t know what to do. 

levioosa

charlotte989875 said:

levioosa said:

I fired my last therapist because she was flaky. It’s not like therapy is a spa day I’m super excited about in the first place. It’s health care. I’m respecting your time by showing up on time to our appointments and not canceling apart from serious reasons, you can do the same. If LWs therapist is becoming unreliable I would ask about it and then move on if they’re defensive. 

Oh and I also fired her because she told me my brother could probably get better if we sent him to a shaman down in Costa Rica. 

Seriously?? 

I’d like to think I’d ask some immediate follow up questions to that but I might be so shocked I wouldn’t know what to do. 

I was shocked but she was already on thin ice so that was the official death knell to our relationship. I knew instantly that I was tapping out. So it also didn’t feel worth it to push back when I knew I’d be terminating the relationship at that point. Also I’m a pretty strong person overall and (no thanks to her lol) I’d already done a ton of growth on my own with boundaries and releasing the past. I was low key offended because wow, I’m pouring out my thoughts and past to you, talking about the endless cycle of mental health and addiction, the thousands upon thousands of dollars we’ve spent on trying to help, the pain and hopelessness of all individuals involved, the extreme disparity in mental health resources to begin with…and that was your response? And also even if I was on board with the idea, what a privileged (we’re not even gonna touch the cultural appropriation) thing to suggest to a client. 

ETA: oh, and because this seems relevant to our conversation from a few weeks ago, she was a BetterHelp therapist.