Dear Prudence,
My wife and I have been married for 25 years, and for 24.5 of those years I was unfaithful. She never knew about it; I even missed the birth of our first child because I was in Paris with one of my then-mistresses (I lied and said I was on a business trip). Well, six months ago, a shocking surprise changed everything.
I suffered a stroke and couldn’t do anything for myself. I had to relearn everything, and throughout the entire time it was my wife who stood by me like the Rock of Gibraltar. During my convalescence, I did not hear from a single one of my girlfriends. I have 95 percent of my function back and it never would have happened without my wife being there to take care of me and help me through rehab. Now I am overcome with guilt over my actions over the course of my marriage. I can never erase what I did, but I am committed to being the best husband I can from now on. My question is, what do I do with this secret? After everything my wife did for me, the last thing I want to do is hurt her. Would taking this to my grave be the right thing to do?