Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Torn between having the ceremony at my church or at the reception venue...HELP!

My fiance and I have already booked our reception venue for our wedding next August. The venue is just perfect and we feel it really matches our personalities. I have always dreamed that I would have my wedding ceremony at the church I grew up going to, which holds a very special place in my heart. Though my fiance is not at all religious, he has stated many times that he would support me if I want to have our ceremony there. 

However, what I've heard from many people (and have experienced as a guest) is that it is logistically much easier to have both ceremony and reception at the same venue. My fiance really likes the idea but says I should do what matters to me. I really want my guests to be happy and have the day to go as smoothly as possible. However, I still want to be true to myself and have my faith journey represented on my wedding day. HELP!!

Sorry for the long post. Any advice is appreciated.

Re: Torn between having the ceremony at my church or at the reception venue...HELP!

  • It sounds like you should get married in your church since it's important to you. As long as it's not a huge distance between the 2 I wouldn't worry about having the events in 2 different places. Lots of people do that and I think most guests expect it.
    June 16, 2012
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  • You say your fiancé is not religious, but you didn't say if you are. If you only want your church for sentimentality or appearance rather than for your faith, I would encourage you not to use it. If religion is important to you, then have the church wedding.
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  • I think that you should get married in your church.  I don't think anyone will be put off (unless its a long distance) by seperate locations as it is basically 'the norm'. 
    255313_3528328290997_1532703995_n
    We say, "I do" on July 12, 2014.
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  • Looking back on it in 20 years would you rather say, I'm glad my guests were accomodated or I wish I had gotten married in the house of my faith.

    NOT saying you should but if it is that important then you might feel that way later on.

    However, some feel that it is just that, just the place you hold worship. You carry your faith with you.

    If you were to do the reception in the same place you can have a prayer, or even set up a cross (?) instead of like an arch like at a church. I saw a beautiful pictre of this somewhere and can't find it.  There are still many ways to represent your faith while keeping the location at one place.
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  • Only you can say what is right for you, but my experience is very similar, so I'll share mine with you.  

    I also always pictured getting married in my childhood church in my hometown.  My FI isn't religious, either.  He said that he would get married in a church if I really wanted to, but I could tell he was really uncomfortable with the idea and was only agreeing to it to make me happy.  I also realized that, for me, the notion of getting married in my old church was sentimental.  While I still consider myself Christian, I don't agree with many of my old churches teachings and the church I attend now is very different.  So, we decided to get married at the same venue as our reception.  If the weather is good, we will be married outside, and if not, we will get married indoors at the same venue.  Honestly, I am so glad that we decided to go this route.  The coordinators at our venue have been awesome, and we haven't had to worry about transportation or a gap or anything like that.  My guests also seem excited everything will be in one place. We are incorporating some religious aspects into our wedding (a reading and a prayer) that my fiance feels comfortable with.  

    It sounds like our situations are very similar, so hopefully hearing about my experience has been helpful.  Only you know what is best for you and your fiance, but I think it is important to examine your reasons for wanting to get married in the church, as well as what your fiance feels as best.  Either way, I'm sure it will be lovely!
  • If you still practice the religion of your childhood, have it in the church. If you don't and don't plan to start again, it seems disrespectful to the religion to me. As a guest, I would only be upset about the inconvenience if neither the bride nor groom actually practiced the religion at times other than Christmas and Easter.
  • LizzieyounceLizzieyounce member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited July 2012
    OP, are you a practicing Catholic?  If you are and want to Catholic ceremony, then you'd have to have the Mass in the church itself. Otherwise the Church won't recognize the marriage. 

    I don't know what religion you are, so I just thought that I'd comment, JIC.


  • Just have it at the church, I was torn for awhile because I wasn't sure if it was too much to ask people to drive 25 minutes to get from the ceremony site to the reception but when I asked family they said they didnt care, it will give them a chance to carpool with other family they haven't seen in a while I guess its pretty normal for the ceremony reception to be at seperate places. Plus I know I wouldn't be happy if we had our ceremony somewhere else than the garden we are doing it at, I just don't want to be regretting my choice the day of the wedding.
  • I had this same problem, I really wanted to get married at my church, but when I looked at my options and when I saw the medalist I fell in love and thought the outside ceremony and reception would just be beautiful for pictures and senory, so I went with it... But I would suggest go with what feels right to you...
  • I've been to weddings that had the reception and ceremony at 2 different venues. What I've experienced is some guests skip the ceremony altogether and just end up going to the reception venue at the appropriate time. That may or may not matter to you, just thought I'd throw it out there!

    Also, we experienced this same dilemma. In the end, we decided to have it all at the same venue. It will still be more of a "religious" ceremony, but it's not being held specifically in a church. There will be prayer, Bible readings, and mention of God and Jesus throughout it. But I'm okay with that. I have had no sentimental attatchment or visions of my wedding in the church I attended as a child.

    I will add, I know how important it is to make sure your god and beliefs are somehow incorporated into this event. While I am not outwardly, overly "religious", I have a very strong and deep faith and I wanted to make sure it was not overlooked. Good luck, and decide what is right for you two!
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