Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Flower Girl vs Junior Bridesmaid

When my cousin was born I swore that she was going to be in my flower girl one day!  Well, that was many years ago, and now that I actually am planning my wedding, I’m faced with many logistical issues and need some advice.
I have two cousins and their mom is one of my bridesmaids; the older cousin will be 9 at the time of the wedding, I was going to have him be the ring boy.  The other one (siblings) will be 8 and she was going to be the flower girl.  My problem is that she is already really tall, and by next May, I’m sure she’ll be even taller!  I’m short, and the other bridesmaids are short so I was considering making her a junior bridesmaid instead.  Furthermore, she is just not well behaved AT ALL.  She is spoiled and a little rude and I’m afraid she won’t be able to stand quietly during the ceremony.  I promised her she would be in the wedding and I want her there, I just don’t know how to handle this situation. 
What would you do?
Thanks
-Janie

Re: Flower Girl vs Junior Bridesmaid

  • Well her height should have nothing to do with her role in the wedding. Nobody's height should. I would ask her what she would rather do if you don't care which one it is. Ask if she'd rather be a FG, BM, or not involved at all (some kids wouldn't want to be in a wedding regardless). Then go from there.

    Also if she is as ill-behaved as you say she is, she would probably be that way whether she's in the wedding or sitting in the seats as a guest.


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  • Maybe you can sit down with her and talk to her about how to behave.  When I was five or six, I was the flower girl in my cousin's wedding and I had no manners. My brother was my role model and I just wanted to be like him, and he wasn't the besst influence. I remember my parents teaching me how to behave llike a young lady prior to the wedding. Maybe that will work for her?
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  • Include her as a junior bridesmaid. She's old enough to appreciate it as a "promotion" to the adult roles, and that might calm down her behavior right there. The FG role is unique and therefore will put an extra spotlight and lots of extra attention on her, which probably will only encourage her to act up. If she's just one of the group of BMs however, that problem is solved and she'll blend in. Good luck and best wishes! Jennifer

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