Jobs for Kids

mbuckley85

FI has two nephews that are not exactly in our wedding party, but we would like to include somehow.  I was thinking they could pass programs (if we choose to have programs), but is there anything else I can have them do?  We already have a ring bearer, but we only want one.

Avion22

"Guest."   There's no reason to make up jobs just to keep from hurting kids' feelings. 

meganb1977

Ditto that there's no need for them to do anything.  Other than be on their best behavior!

kmmssg

I absolutely agree that being a guest is plenty.  If they are old enough they could escort the grandma's in the processional.  If they aren't old enough they can just be a guest.

HobokensFury

Assigning a random crappy job is not an honor.

Angel8787

Agreed, they are kids and wont think twice about the wedding after the next day. They can play the guest role and not have this decision cloud your mind with the other choices that are to be made

mbuckley85

See, that was EXACTLY my thought but my FI's mother wanted them all to be "ring bearers". I told her no, we wouldn't be having three ring bearers when there are only two rings. She is the one that thinks everything needs to be exactly the same so it is "fair" for the kids. We wanted the ring bearer in a tux, so all the boys are getting tuxes. We got flowers for the ring bearer to wear so all the boys are getting the same flowers, etc. The boys are 7, 8 and 10 and the youngest is our ring bearer.

mbuckley85

In Response to Re:Jobs for Kids:[QUOTE]We had 2 nieces who really wanted a "role' in the wedding.nbsp; We had them carry lit taper candles in and stand at the front while my mom and FFIL processed in.nbsp; Then, mom and FFIL took the candles from them and used them to light the tapers on the Unity Candle and all four sat down together.nbsp; They got a special dress and a moment that was meaningful, so it worked out.nbsp; However, it sounds like in this case your FMIL is the one pushing for it.nbsp; Do the boys actually feel left out or is this adult politics?If it's the first, you might see if there's something that can be done in your ceremony that they could do.nbsp; But if it's just FMIL pushing for it, have your FI put his foot down and tell her no.nbsp; Then stick with it.ETA:nbsp; My guess is that if FMIL wants them to be ring bearers, then being programpasserouter will NOT make her feel better and will likely seem like an insult to her, so I'd skip that idea regardless. Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I haven't specifically spoken with the boys about whether they are ok with it or not. One parent said it was no big deal and her son didnt want to anyway, and the other kid the ten year old is the most quiet of the three and kind of shy, so i think he should be ok with not being front and center. I think it's more her thing and she wants them to have a job.

montanabounding

I'm not certain about boys, but I recall at my aunt and uncle's wedding (I was seven, I believe), I led my three younger cousins (not children of the couple) down the aisle shortly before the beginning of the wedding to give roses to the groomsmen. We were not part of the wedding party although did pose in family photos.

Our child will be six at the time of our wedding, but we have no plans for involvement at this time, as our wedding will be nontraditional.

allisonkbye

How old are they? I would leave it up to them or their parents. If they are super excited and happy to do it, then let them have at it. But if they get bored and decide they don't like doing it, then just be prepared for it. 

mbuckley85

They are 7, 8 and 10.  I am not the closest with them because they are out of state and I've only met them a few times, but my feeling is they really don't care.  FI's cousins both go married fairly recently (one last year and one the year before) and chose to have all three boys as "ring bearers" which is what set this whole thing up as being an issue.

When I told future MIL that I wanted the ring bearer in a tux she said "Well Marcy just had them in dress pants with a white shirt and a bow tie".  I was like "Yeah, I remember that, but that isn't how I wanted him dressed."

aragx6

My god you're obsessed with what people wear. I bet a little tux is expensive. I'd be offering to pay for that.

mbuckley85

In Response to Re:Jobs for Kids:[QUOTE]My god you're obsessed with what people wear. I bet a little tux is expensive. I'd be offering to pay for that. Posted by aragx6[/QUOTE]

FMIL is paying for the tuxes...I didn't ask her to, she offered. If she had said anything AGAINST having them in tuxes, I would have offered to pay. I don't care what the other two boys wear, but I do care what the one that is actually in the wedding party wears. Isn't that my right?

Kate0558

My nephews handed out bubbles to all the guests as they came out of the church. They were very excited about this job.

This was at my sisters wedding. I'm going to give my nephew who isn't in my wedding the job of handing out programs. Any simply little job that isn't reallly necessary is exciting to kids - depending on their age ofcourse

TeilaBrent

n Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_jobs-for-kids?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:64d0b262-2f11-4329-ae41-7af4b21e3febPost:41293ea9-12bf-409a-8fed-3ffe00aeb94c">Re: Jobs for Kids</a>:
[QUOTE]I absolutely agree that being a guest is plenty.  If they are old enough they could escort the grandma's in the processional.  If they aren't old enough they can just be a guest.
Posted by kmmssg[/QUOTE]

<font color="#ff00ff">Amazing idea!!!!
</font>

Bonnie27

Those are good ages for good jobs.  I have two nephews, 8 and 10 and I'm very close with them.  I'm going to have the 10 year old carry the rings and the 8 year old is going to "announce the bride" with a banner.  It's kind of corny but if I don't give him an important job I think he will feel inadequate compared to his brother.  And I certainly don't want to be the mean aunt    But again, if I barely new them - I probably wouldn't have them.