Morning wedding/ help!?

brittanyzim

Is anyone else having a morning wedding and a lunch reception? What time is it at? My wedding is at 10 AM and my reception is at 2 pm. If I have to be at the church by 10 and have to leave by 9:30, what time should I wake up to get ready?

ceh789

What are your guests doing for the 3.5 hours between your ceremony and reception?

My ceremony is at noon with lunch served at 12:30.  We're arriving at the site at 11 to do photos.  I'm getting ready about 30 minutes away and my appointments start at 8am.  I'm planning to be up by 7.

brittanyzim

It takes Half an hour to get to the church and half an hour to drive to the reception location. So we had to count the time it takes to drive everywhere too.

ceh789

It takes 30 minutes to get from the church to the reception so you left a 210 minute gap?  You're not making any sense.  What will your guests do for the extra 3 hours?

brittanyzim

The wedding is at 10, will start a little after 10. It will probably go until at least 11. A lot of us will drive about an hour away for pictures and pictures will at least take an hour. We will need to drive all the way to the reception location to be there by 2. What the guests do between a little after 11 and 1 is really up to them. I could not move my wedding any later because everything is further away from eachother.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:8ed13211-14f3-4989-a6dd-b0e14f4a1e8c">Re:Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]The wedding is at 10, will start a little after 10. It will probably go until at least 11. A lot of us will drive about an hour away for pictures and pictures will at least take an hour. We will need to drive all the way to the reception location to be there by 2. <strong>What the guests do between a little after 11 and 1 is really up to them. </strong>I could not move my wedding any later because everything is further away from eachother.
Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]
Wrong. You, as their host, need to provide for your guests.

brittanyzim

Good point, yes. But it is also my wedding day and I can't change any times because of the travel time. Your wedding day is not to entertain guests.

brittanyzim

I don't think you get it. I cannot change the times. What do you suggest I do then?

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:1ed67a3a-9dc6-489a-8e67-5995312866b8">Re:Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Good point, yes. But it is also my wedding day and I can't change any times because of the travel time. <strong>Your wedding day is not to entertain guests.</strong>
Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]
If you invite guests it is.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:9a95b9c8-74cb-4022-b550-20e10fb75a85">Re: Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I don't think you get it. I cannot change the times. What do you suggest I do then?
Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]
You can change the times, but you are choosing to prioritize your photos over the comfort of your guests.<div>
</div><div>If you WILL not change the time to eliminate the gap you need to host something for your guests to do in the interim.  They need somewhere to go and refreshments.</div>

brittanyzim

No I'm not, I honestly can't change the times. I already put deposits on the specific time.

futuremschong

I have the same thing going on with my wedding. Due to things that can not be changed I am having a 1:30 ceremony and a 6pm reception. Guests will also have a 3 1/2 hour gap to do as they please. I am including an "accomodation card" in my invitation of 2 of my favorite nearby restaurants, 2 museums and 2 activities they can partake in. Its just a suggestion card, but I agree with you, its MY DAY and they can CHOOSE to be apart of it, whether it is for the whole day ( as many of my closest family and friends who would sacrafice one day of "inconvenience" for me) or just for the reception. I have gone back and forth with this issue and I think you can only accomodate as much as you can handle. IT IS YOUR DAY AND YOUR MEMORY AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO ATTEND WILL DO WHATEVER YOU ASK OF THEM, ONE DAY YOU WILL BE THERE FOR THEIR SPECIAL DAY. If it inconveniences them, they can adjust accordingly. You are spending thousands of dollars, it will be ok.

As far as your schedule, depending on how many bridesmaids you have and who needs hair and makeup, I would allot 2 hours for yourself (including a small breakfast) and have enough hands on deck to take care of the rest of the bridal party's hair and makeup. You will be up early, but by sunset you will be married and everyone will be relaxed and happy to have been apart of your special day.

pgcp

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:165cc07a-2ea6-444e-ba1c-77fe5cf96a2c">Re: Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]No I'm not, I honestly can't change the times. I already put deposits on the specific time.
Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]
Contact your vendors and change the time, or eat the cost of the deposits and find a new place.  Don't be a crappy host!  Seriously don't treat your guest so poorly.

My wedding was at 10:30 in the morning.  We got to the church at 7:30 to do formal pictures.  After the ceremony the photographer took a few more pictures, including a few whole group shots, and then my husband and I drove off to the reception.  We were the first to the reception (best man drove us and dropped us off at the front door then went to park the car) and were able to greet all our guests as they came in.  After our brunch was done, we went off to do the fun arty pictures.  It worked out beautifully, we got all the pictures we wanted, and our guests were treated very well, not like an after thought or inconvenience.

jlocascio85

My wedding is also at 10 am as well. I can arrive onsite to the wedding at 8 am. I am going to wake up at 7 am to wash my hair etc. then once I arrive onsite I can bust out my make up and hair. My BM's are doing their own hair/make up. But I think two hours is sufficient time to get ready.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:3908dae2-f4be-4505-aa5d-2e247f894795">Re: Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have the same thing going on with my wedding. Due to things that can not be changed I am having a 1:30 ceremony and a 6pm reception. Guests will also have a 3 1/2 hour gap to do as they please. I am including an "accomodation card" in my invitation of 2 of my favorite nearby restaurants, 2 museums and 2 activities they can partake in. Its just a suggestion card, but I agree with you, its MY DAY and they can CHOOSE to be apart of it, whether it is for the whole day ( as many of my closest family and friends who would sacrafice one day of "inconvenience" for me) or just for the reception. I have gone back and forth with this issue and I think you can only accomodate as much as you can handle. IT IS YOUR DAY AND YOUR MEMORY AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO ATTEND WILL DO WHATEVER YOU ASK OF THEM, ONE DAY YOU WILL BE THERE FOR THEIR SPECIAL DAY. If it inconveniences them, they can adjust accordingly. You are spending thousands of dollars, it will be ok. As far as your schedule, depending on how many bridesmaids you have and who needs hair and makeup, I would allot 2 hours for yourself (including a small breakfast) and have enough hands on deck to take care of the rest of the bridal party's hair and makeup. You will be up early, but by sunset you will be married and everyone will be relaxed and happy to have been apart of your special day.
Posted by futuremschong[/QUOTE]
There are so many things wrong with your "advice" I don't even know where to start.

ceh789

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:93a88fdc-d6b4-44f8-8f09-39a90fb8a81b">Re: Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Morning wedding/ help!? : Contact your vendors and change the time, or eat the cost of the deposits and find a new place.  Don't be a crappy host!  Seriously don't treat your guest so poorly. My wedding was at 10:30 in the morning.  We got to the church at 7:30 to do formal pictures.  After the ceremony the photographer took a few more pictures, including a few whole group shots, and then my husband and I drove off to the reception.  We were the first to the reception (best man drove us and dropped us off at the front door then went to park the car) and were able to greet all our guests as they came in.  After our brunch was done, we went off to do the fun arty pictures. <strong> It worked out beautifully, we got all the pictures we wanted, and our guests were treated very well, not like an after thought or inconvenience.</strong>
Posted by pgcp[/QUOTE]
Imagine that.  Yours sounds like a lovely wedding, I'm sure everyone had a great time.

ootmother2

I didn't run into the problem because I know my family & guests would kill me for an early hour

ootmother2

For a 1:30 ceremony, the hairdressers and make up artists arrived around 9  The bride & BMs had been up since 7:00 AM drinkng mimosas and eating dunkin donuts

amyb140

My wedding was at 10:30 am - we started hair and makeup at, wait for it, 5:00.  Yup, I got up at 4:15.  HOWEVER.  Our brunch reception started immediately after, at a venue 15 minutes away.  We had drinks on an outdoor terrace for everyone for the 1/2 hour or so until we arrived.

You're obviously going to do what you damn well please, but gaps really suck.  No one will tell you to your face, but they'll talk about you behind your back.

Gabrielle76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:8ed13211-14f3-4989-a6dd-b0e14f4a1e8c">Re:Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]The wedding is at 10, will start a little after 10. It will probably go until at least 11.<strong> A lot of us will drive about an hour away for pictures and pictures will at least take an hour</strong>. We will need to drive all the way to the reception location to be there by 2. What the guests do between a little after 11 and 1 is really up to them. I could not move my wedding any later because everything is further away from eachother.
Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]

This view of the pictures totally baffles me.  I'm planning a wedding and reception, it's designed to accomplish the task of getting FI and I married, and thank our guests for witnessing it with a party.  The photographer is there to document that experience so I can always remember the wedding day, not so I can have a photo shoot.  I can't imagine leaving guests alone for hours while I take pictures.  Am I totally confused on the point of a wedding photographer?

pgcp

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:3f82c51f-a991-421d-b083-b6d6819b315b">Re:Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Am I totally confused on the point of a wedding photographer?
Posted by Gabrielle76[/QUOTE]
There are really two schools of thought with wedding photography.  One is like what you are thinking, the other is that it is the bride and grooms day to play around and be the models.  There isn't anything wrong with the second idea as long as guests aren't inconvenienced.  That usually means taking the arty picture before the wedding and doing the first look or taking the pictures after the reception.

The problem comes in when couples want the art pictures but the also want to have the "surprise" of the first time they see one another being when the bride walks down the aisle AND they want a party until the wee hours reception.  It is possible to have it all if the art pictures are limited to an hour's time (which would include the travel to and from time) and the guests head to the reception and have a cocktail hour.  However too many couples want to be at the cocktail hour as well (completely missing the point of it) and then you end up in Rudey McRuderson Land where the rude people dwell.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:1ed67a3a-9dc6-489a-8e67-5995312866b8">Re:Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]Your wedding day is not to entertain guests.
Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]


oooooooh...  This is quite wrong.

Honestly, Brittany, you need to host something in between the end of your ceremony and the beginning of your reception.

If you want to drive an hour to and from to get some pictures, then you need to do it at a time that doesn't inconvience your guests.  Letting them hang around after getting up really early to see you get married is inconviencing them.

I suggest you rent a room at the church or the hotel and host food and drink.  I also suggest that you remember that a wedding day is about saying vows and hosting guests.  Once those two things are taken care of, then you can go off and play model, which means that if you wanted this three hour picture excursion, you should have really planned the ceremony, cocktail hour for easy pictures, reception, then three hour picture journey.

Since that ship has sailed, host your guests while you're off galavanting.

Rachel405

In Response to Re:Morning wedding/ help!?:[QUOTE]I have the same thing going on with my wedding. Due to things that can not be changed I am having a 1:30 ceremony and a 6pm reception. Guests will also have a 3 1/2 hour gap to do as they please. I am including an "accomodation card" in my invitation of 2 of my favorite nearby restaurants, 2 museums and 2 activities they can partake in. Its just a suggestion card, but I agree with you, its MY DAY and they can CHOOSE to be apart of it, whether it is for the whole day as many of my closest family and friends who would sacrafice one day of "inconvenience" for me or just for the reception. I have gone back and forth with this issue and I think you can only accomodate as much as you can handle. IT IS YOUR DAY AND YOUR MEMORY AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE YOU AND WHO ATTEND WILL DO WHATEVER YOU ASK OF THEM, ONE DAY YOU WILL BE THERE FOR THEIR SPECIAL DAY. If it inconveniences them, they can adjust accordingly. You are spendingnbsp;thousands of dollars, it will be ok. As far as your schedule, depending on how many bridesmaids you have and who needs hair and makeup, I would allot 2 hours for yourself including a small breakfast and have enough hands on deck to take care of the rest of the bridal party's hair and makeup. You will be up early, but by sunset you will be married and everyone will be relaxed and happy to have been apart of your special day. Posted by futuremschong[/QUOTE]

You have problems.

futuremschong

I have problems?? Because I have an opinion that differs from yours? OR because I have 100 of my closest family and friends attending my wedding that WILL have an unfortunate gap of time, but are supportive and just as happy to be apart of our day. Whether it means they are slightly inconvenienced or choose to come to either the ceremony or the reception.

My fiance is in Afghanistan and I am planning this day all by myself, the fact that we don't have time to complete the wedding preparation guidelines our church is asking for, meant I had to look for a chapel where we could be wed. The time limitations for the Chapel are there, and this is what I have to work with. Obviously, not ideal.

Everyone is allowed their opinions, but don't worry about the "PROBLEMS" I have and be so quick to judge regarding "wedding etiquette" until you have walked a day in my shoes.

ceh789

You have problems in that you are a rude, self centered brat who is prioritizing your venue over your closest family and friends.  Get over yourself.

AdeleDazeem

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:4c35de62-2137-441a-b902-b0b9c9b725da">Re: Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have problems?? Because I have an opinion that differs from yours? OR because I have 100 of my closest family and friends attending my wedding that WILL have an unfortunate gap of time, but are supportive and just as happy to be apart of our day. Whether it means they are slightly inconvenienced or choose to come to either the ceremony or the reception. My fiance is in Afghanistan and I am planning this day all by myself, the fact that we don't have time to complete the wedding preparation guidelines our church is asking for, meant I had to look for a chapel where we could be wed. The time limitations for the Chapel are there, and this is what I have to work with. Obviously, not ideal. Everyone is allowed their opinions, but don't worry about the "PROBLEMS" I have and be so quick to judge regarding "wedding etiquette" until you have walked a day in my shoes.
Posted by futuremschong[/QUOTE]

The fact that your husband is Afghanistan (if he is a serviceman, thank you for his service!) has nothing to do with etiquette.  A gap is a breach of etiquette.  I'm sure you don't mean to do it, but it's a fact, not an opinion.

kateguess22

Proper etiquette would have you entertain your guests while you do what you plan to do in between your ceremony and your reception. If this is important to you I'm sure many brides on here would be happy to advise you on how to do this as easily as possible for you.

I hate to see people get attacked by other brides-to-be on the knot. Know that you need to do what is right for you & your future husband, and many couples do have a gap between the ceremony and reception, whether or not they are aware that this isn't proper etiquette.

Gabrielle76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:4c35de62-2137-441a-b902-b0b9c9b725da">Re: Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have problems?? Because I have an opinion that differs from yours? OR because I have 100 of my closest family and friends attending my wedding that WILL have an unfortunate gap of time, but are supportive and just as happy to be a part of our day. Whether it means they are slightly inconvenienced or choose to come to either the ceremony or the reception. My fiance is in Afghanistan and I am planning this day all by myself, the fact that we don't have time to complete the wedding preparation guidelines our church is asking for, meant I had to look for a chapel where we could be wed. The time limitations for the Chapel are there, and this is what I have to work with. Obviously, not ideal. Everyone is allowed their opinions, but don't worry about the "PROBLEMS" I have and be so quick to judge regarding "wedding etiquette" until you have walked a day in my shoes.
Posted by futuremschong[/QUOTE]
Well, there are always other chapels, but that's neither here nor their.  Someone's life struggles are not usually a factor in determining weather you are breaching etiquette.  Maybe you are blessed with the worlds most relaxed friends and family who really don't care if you make them wait around for hours with nothing to do.  Most people would feel differently.  They would be annoyed to come to a wedding and have to entertain themselves for hours, especially if they are not from the area.  I know I would be really irritated if I were in their shoes.  Even if I went and complimented the wedding, and showed no annoyance, you better believe I would think the bride and groom were selfish.  I would wager that a good percentage of your nearest and dearest would feel the same way. 

mtbentley

It would be nice to arrange something for people to do in between. Maybe even a list of local attractions, not the best but it is something. For one wedding I went to there was a long gap, the parents of the bride, who were hosting the wedding, opened their house for some mingling and snacks and drinks. It was nice and simple, nothing fancy or expensive but it gave guests an option, this was especially nice for the out of towners who would not have known where else to go. Just something to think about.

I do think that every girl deserves her dream wedding or at least as close to it as possible. When I attend a wedding it is because I care about the couple and I want to be a part of THEIR special day. If I don't like something about the wedding I don't make a fuss because I truly believe it's not about me. I want that day to be exactly what the couple wants it to be. I would be mortified if I asked a bride to change her venue to cater to my schedule. I know after reading some of these boards I am probably the minority on this but it is how I was raised, it is how my family and friends have always done things, and I had never heard anything different until I started reading these boards. Please don't interpret this as me thinking you should completely disregard your guests, as a host it is your job to provide a great party. I just don't see why you can't have the wedding of your dreams and throw a great party at the same time. Every wedding I have been to has had aspects I didn't like, and you know what, I still managed to have a great time. I would not be able to enjoy myself if I knew that the couple missed out on something they wanted because I selfishly asked them to change it. (I am just expressing my genuine feelings on this subject, I am not looking for an argument, I simply want to show that there are guests out there who do not think that they are more important than the bride and groom)

As for your initial question I'm sorry but really can't help you, I am still struggling with my own scheduling. 

Viczaesar

Gaps are rude.  Period.  Making your guests wait around for hours because you want to drive somewhere an hour away and take pictures is doubly rude.

JennLax

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_morning-wedding-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:673ef87d-c387-4e04-859d-b3f32e46ab11Post:8ed13211-14f3-4989-a6dd-b0e14f4a1e8c">Re:Morning wedding/ help!?</a>:
[QUOTE]A lot of us will drive about an hour away for pictures and pictures will at least take an hour. Posted by brittanyzim[/QUOTE]

Here's an easy solution for you... ummm... don't take pictures an hour away?  I am sure there are other options close to either your ceremony space or your reception space.  If your reception hall can not budge on the timing, find a restaurant or space nearby that you can rent out for an hour or two to host some snacks/punch for your guests.