Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Help with ceremony idea

We are still trying to figure out were to get married. We have a place for a reception site that we like. We are looking into different churches. I'm catholic and he is methodist though we are not really practing in either. What I need help with is does anyone know of a certain domination that would do a service without us being of thier church? I know if we tried doing it in a Catholic church we would have to go thru all these lesson because he is not catholic. So any help would be great!

Re: Help with ceremony idea

  • A lot of churches are open to non-members using their facilities. They just typically charge a larger fee. Just call around and see, ask some friends/coworkers/neighbors. 

    Like you say, Catholic churches will be difficult due to their restrictions on non-Catholics and counseling requirements, but even a lot of Protestant pastors want to do some counseling prior to agreeing to marry you, just to learn some about you two and for him/her to feel you are ready to be married. We're getting married at FI's family's Lutheran church and the pastor wanted to do counseling. 
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  • Tami87Tami87 member
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    edited January 2012
    If you want to have your wedding in a church, I would think about what church if any you and your fiance plan to attend in the future, raise any children as etc. You should make sure you are on the same page for your religious life as a family, and pick a church or other ceremony location accordingly. A lot of churches do tend to prefer to marry people who are members and avoid having people who want to use the church as just a pretty venue. However, I am sure you can find some that will marry non-members if you look around, although you might pay a non-member fee.

    Also as a baptised Catholic you should know that if you get married anywhere but a Catholic church without a dispensation that your marriage will not be considered valid by the church. You will not be in good standing with the church and will not be able to receive communion. So if your Catholic faith is at all important to you, or you plan to practice it in the future you should take some time to think about this.

    To get married in the Catholic church it isn't a problem that your FI is not Catholic. He will not need to convert. The big issue would be if one of you was previously married. And if you get married in the Catholic church, you will be promising to raise your children Catholic. You will be asked as part of the ceremony, Will you accept children lovingly from God, and bring them up according to the law of Christ and his Church?

    As for premarital counseling, it is really a good idea regardless of where you get married. It depends on the diocese, but for our pre cana we have met with the priest a few times and will do an engagement encounter weekend. The majority of it is focused on communication skills and not religious in nature. Also you should not have to do any extra lessons because your FI is not Catholic.

    Big advice, talk to FI about what role religion will play in your marriage/future family. Make sure you are on the same page, and pick a church or ceremony site that reflects these beliefs.
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  • I am not Catholic and my FI is. We are getting married in the Catholic church and we have to go through the exact same pre-wedding program as all of the other couples getting married in the Catholic church. FI just has to agree that the children will be raised Catholic either way. As PPs have said, any church you choose is probably going to require a certain number of meetings with the priest/pastor/minister before marrying you. If you don't want to do any classes, you're better off hiring an officiant knowing that the Catholic church will not recognize your marriage.
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