Groomzilla?! His clothing demands!

miranda12

Ok, so I have a gorgeous ivory halter dress for our outdoor wedding. We have less than 3 weeks left and my fiance is adamant that he is not going to wear a tuxedo. He wants khakis and a button up shirt, and he wants his best man (which is his 9 year old son) to wear a polo shirt. Besides that disaster, he wants to wear white shirts. Do you think (like I do) that white shirts will clash with my ivory gown in photos? And does anyone else think 'polo' shirts are too....dress down? It's a casual wedding, nothing formal, but I would feel 'too dressed up' in comparison. I'm all  for them changing the color of the shirts to a clover green, which is one of my wedding colors, but he thinks thats ridiculous. Agh! My father is going ot walk me down the aisle and my fiance is also demnding that my father wear EXACTLY the same thing he is wearing....the khakis and plain button up shirt....even down to the shoes (he wants 'boat shoes!') Look...am I crazy for thinking he's crazy? And what is your opinion? I'm about to pull my hair out!

tommyandy

Wouldn't a tux be super hot outside this time of year? We've already broken 85 & the humidity has been kinda high the last few weeks. 

  What if he wore a vest & tie & dressier khakis instead of cargo type khakis?  I would ask that your future stepson wear a shirt & tie that matches his dad for the ceremony and pictures & then he can change into a polo after if he wants.

Would Converse hi-tops work better for his shoes?

miranda12

Thanks for your opinions, even the uncalled for catty ones. I guess I'll just the them do whatever the heck they want. And I'll hold my tongue before asking anymore questions on this snotty website.

AmoroAgain

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_groomzilla-his-clothing-demands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:6d9fb51e-f09a-4802-aa89-49b2d1806646Post:30f18f2f-6120-4253-bac3-9dc4ab090da0">Re: Groomzilla?! His clothing demands!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your opinions, even the uncalled for catty ones. I guess I'll just the them do whatever the heck they want. And I'll hold my tongue before asking anymore questions on this snotty website.
Posted by miranda12[/QUOTE]

You were being demanding and controlling, and they told you.  You just need to relax.  When you look back at photos, you're not even going to notice for one, and secondly, you'll probably also look back and think, "Why was I so concerned about that?"  We've all had experience with this and have a good idea of how you're going to be feeling after.

SOMEONE needs to RELAX.

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_groomzilla-his-clothing-demands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:6d9fb51e-f09a-4802-aa89-49b2d1806646Post:30f18f2f-6120-4253-bac3-9dc4ab090da0">Re: Groomzilla?! His clothing demands!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your opinions, even the uncalled for catty ones. I guess I'll just the them do whatever the heck they want. And I'll hold my tongue before asking anymore questions on this snotty website.
Posted by miranda12[/QUOTE]

There's a difference between being honest and being snotty.  People were honest reather than affirming that your FI is an idiot who has no taste.

But really, you get to choose your attire.  When you have children you can choose their attire when they're toddlers, and perhaps even preschoolers.  Your FI is neither a toddler nor a preschooler.

He's a grown-up who gets to choose his own attire.  Let him. 

Catwoman708

I understand what you are feeling.  I don't think your vision/expectation of the guys wearing tuxes, or even suits, is all that unreasonable, even for an outdoor ceremony. 

But only if it's in keeping with the formality of your wedding.  A typical outdoor wedding is usually more casual, or at best, semi-formal if it's in a really nice venue.   

So for a casual, outdoor May wedding in Florida, suits or tuxes would be rather hot and overdressed.  It's not unheard of for the guys to dress in casual khakis and white shirts, for such an occasion.  So I don't think his request/demand is that unreasonble.

The reality is that few weddings are as ideal as the wedding industry and media protrays them.   Keep in mind, the advertisers use models, have orchestrated the "settings", and pick only the best of the best photos and videos of "real weddings".  It's no wonder so  many brides have these rosy expectations of their wedding being one big "Kodak moment".

What I wonder is why did this issue JUST come up, 3 weeks before the wedding?   I think it all boils down to whether he just changed his mind, or if you just assumed he'd wear a suit/tux and never discussed it.  Plus, has he had any other say in the weddng plans or details, or has it been all you?  If it's the latter, then I would suggest you try to respect his wishes and live with it.

If he has suddenly changed his mind or become stubborn about details, then it's possible he's just feeling left out of the planning, is getting sick of the "wedding drama", or it could be as serious as cold feet or second thoughts.  If you're not afraid of the answer, you could just ask him where this is coming from. 

vsgal

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_groomzilla-his-clothing-demands?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:6d9fb51e-f09a-4802-aa89-49b2d1806646Post:30f18f2f-6120-4253-bac3-9dc4ab090da0">Re: Groomzilla?! His clothing demands!</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for your opinions, even the uncalled for catty ones. I guess I'll just the them do whatever the heck they want. And I'll hold my tongue before asking anymore questions on this snotty website.
Posted by miranda12[/QUOTE]

I did not see where we were snotty to you.  You  came on  a national message board and asked for our insight.  The thing is that we are going to tell you like we see it.  We are not going to sugarcoat our insight. We are not your family or friends that you see regularly.  Ask us anything you want, but just be prepared for seasoned advice.  Sometimes we are very firm because that's the only way to get the point across.

megk8oz

I think you need to let your FI wear what he wants. And your FI needs to let your dad wear what he wants.

You're all allegedly adults here, you all should know how to dress yourselves.

melissamc2

Did you let him pick your dress?  If so, then there should be compromises.  However, I am inclined to agree with him (and the other posters on here) - his idea sounds quite appropriate for a casual outdoor wedding.

Sometimes dressy casual can look just as good, if not better, than super formal when done correctly.

jaclyndoherty

I am having a more fancy wedding than what yours sounds like and my fiance is wearing what yours wants to. I have no problem with that. Also this is the internet and people sometimes tend to read things thinking the person writing is presenting an attitude. Relax. You asked for advice and got it no need to huff and puff about the responses just because they were not to your liking.

duckie1905

No one was snotty.  Everyone just happened to disagree with you.  There is a difference. 

pcc19

I think nicer pants like Dockers and a dress shirt with tie sounds like it would fit better with your vision.  Also, a light colored suit is really nice.  Kids can get away with being more casual.  It's your wedding (meaning both of yours), and there's no reason that the bride's vision and groom's vision shouldn't happen.  There are a lot of options BETWEEN a tux and casual.  Even "casual" weddings usually have nicely dressed brides and grooms.  Of course you are both adults and everybody can dress themselves... but are people really suggesting that you are a psycho control freak because you want your groom to be fancy enough on your wedding day?  Whatev.

In my opinion, you should both be happy about what you are wearing.  Best of luck, and of course the important thing is you'll be married in the end  

Try to have a thick skin on these boards.  It's easy to feel like any disagreement is personal criticism.  Most people really don't mean it that way.