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Too emotional at ceremony!!

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Re: Too emotional at ceremony!!

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    From a Boomer Bride: 
    You might try some of the labor tricks that aren't really obvious - breathing in a pattern to a favorite song, counting architectural repeats, staring at a calming item (his lapel?).  In the processional, you could try to count the people with white hair, or how many are in each pew.  A little mental disassociation will take you away enough to get through it with dignity and not collapse into yourself.  If you need a mantra, you might repeat his name, reminding yourself that you are keeping it together so his family and friends will be impressed with the woman he chose - something like, "for NAME."
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    I am the same- I couldn't even get through reading all the responces without tearing up!! :/
    lol lol lol   Waterproof is the way to go :)
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    sgg04sgg04 member
    First Comment
    While I do agree that tears from the bride during a wedding can be sweet and very natural, I personally fear sobbing uncontrollably. I am terrified that I will be a big, hot, sloppy, sobbing mess, and no one wants to see that. I'm talking tears, snot, blubbering, and no one will be able to understand me. I also do not want all the pictures from my ceremony to be of me crying! I want pretty, happy pictures! The best advice I have been given so far is to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, or something else that is simple and boring to recite. This is my plan and I am hoping that it takes my mind off things just enough to keep the waterworks under control. 
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    Think of a phrase that will distract you from crying.  Plan it ahead of time and keep repeating it to yourself.  I am thinking of using a Family Guy quote and make sure both my FI and I know it, so when we look at each other we will giggle instead of cry.
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    I feel the exact same way - i think I'll be fine for everything else except when my dad gives me away - so much so, that I'm having our JOP say "who presents this woman" instead of "who gives this woman" b/c it breaks my heart.
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    I am going to not think about it. It will just get me going in the wrong direction! I am going to think about the planning is over and the honeymoon is starting!!! A plus side to crying... my photographer says it makes great pictures! :)
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_emotional-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:7334a4fc-0047-485e-bc20-aae88700e519Post:eff5cdd1-0522-4bc7-94d7-481fb50da137">Re: Too emotional at ceremony!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Ok, I am getting welled up just reading all the posts. Good lord.  It could be worse, you could do random idiot moves like I do when nerves are high and there are a lot of emotions... like bark out the most gawdy laugh or clap, yes even clap, for no reason... just clap away...  So, like the rest, I would suggest to be natural and let the emotions flow as they will.  You will look stunning through all the tears and if it helps any, just think of a girl in California who will probably be laughing and clapping at the alter like an idiot :o)  That might give you a break from the tears!
    Posted by Redraptor1001[/QUOTE]

    Ok I was getting teary too reading all this...but after your post I can't stop breaking out in random laughing spells at my desk. I keep  thinking about you clapping at the altar!  People are going to think I'm crazy!!  Thank you for fixing my current weepies.  I KNOW I'll be a mess at my own next year.
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    I've heard of brides who have chosen to the see the groom before the ceremony so that the first glance at eachother is more intimate/private and you're not so worried about crying in front of an audience. That way you get some of the emotion out of the way. This is a great photo opportunity as well as long as you're okay with seeing the groom before the actual ceremony happens.
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    I think that during my ceremony I won't be the only one crying.  My mom was in tears during my bridal shower, and when everyone saw her face and heard the tone in her voice at one stage - there wasn't a dry eye in the house! 

    I'm planning on giving monogramed lace hankies to all of my bridesmaids & our moms to carry that day, and also carrying one myself so that we are all covered for dabbing tears away without tisues falling apart on us.

    I think the only way to go about it is to embrace the feelings of the day - be they over-joyed and filled with smiles or very touching and teary.
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    That sound wonderful! Mine if I borrow the idea?
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    I'm with ya on that last post, I teared up just reading through these!! I'm getting married in 57 days and I'm a very emotional person. My fiance makes fun of me because I cry at commercials. Not only were there some very great tips but I just feel better reading these posts and knowing that if I cry and cry a lot...who cares...it's our day and that is all that matters!
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    JenO24JenO24 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    I'm worried about being a basket case b/c I lost my Dad almsot 9 years ago.  My Mom is walking me down the aisle, which will help.  But at the end of the aisle I'm placing a flower from my bouquet on the chair I have marked for him w/ a photo in it.  We'll also have a moment of silence to remember those who have passed and are w/ us in spirit.  This is when I know I will do nothing buy cry.  Ever since my Dad passed away my wedding day has loomed on me for this exact reason.

    I will definitely try reciting the Pledge and taking in deep breaths!!!
    imageAnniversary
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    I have the same fear!! If i hear anything remotely sweet, i tear up.

    I am hoping that my nerves will make me not cry. Before my fiance proposed we had talked about it and me and my best friend talked about it as well. I would always tear up when i thought about it and i just knew i would be a complete mess when it happened. I also knew he would do it in public, which he did, and thats the reason i was so worried. BUUUTTT.... oddly enough, i didnt cry. He started choking up but i was ok and just beaming.

    I am banking on this to happen at the wedding. If not....then i will jsut try my best to not make a fool out of myself. Dont sweat it too much...if it happens there isnt really anything you can do. You cannot really prepare for it because it will be in the moment are those are "priceless."
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    i've taken a thousand deep breaths just reading through these....im gonna make myself pass out.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_emotional-ceremony?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:7334a4fc-0047-485e-bc20-aae88700e519Post:973cd716-b238-41ee-8e6f-ac39941a595f">Re: Too emotional at ceremony!!</a>:
    [QUOTE]My future sister in law recited in her head the marriage scheme from "Princess Bride" when she started to tear up.  Instead, it made her giggle which got her groom giggling which got the maid of honor giggling which got my fiance (the best man) giggling!
    Posted by rudisma[/QUOTE]

    <div>
    </div><div>This is my favorite movie of all time, and I laugh every time I think of this scene!  Great advice! If I tell this to my sister, we will be in hysterics as I stand up there! :)  I am a ridiculous crier too.  I was the one balling at my sister's wedding when she was all smiles.  I cry when I hear our first dance song, and our Cannon in D. I cry at the stupid Men's Wharehouse Commercials where the guy with the deep voice says "while everyone is looking at her, she'll be looking at you."  Honestly, if you are a crier, the people coming to the wedding know you to know you are very sensitive and emotional!  Let whatever happens happen! :)  GL!</div>
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
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    Sigh. I'm crying just reading everyone's post. I think I'll be a gonner!
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    If you are really set on not being a blubbering bride, you could go to your doc and get yourself a prescription for Ativan. O.5 mg should work well but you can always go up to 1mg. I am the same way as you and this is my plan, it works well, ive taken them before at my sisters wedding with no problems. I am a nurse and know they will not harm you in any way or make you drowsy, just helps to relax emotions :)
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    I'm getting married in about 3 weeks and I'm TERRIFIED about sobbing through the father daughter dance!  Probably the ceremony too...oh well...we'll see what happens.
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    You might consider starting on/switching some birth control.  It can help to level out your hormones which may be running wild.  I know that I used to cry at stupid things, like fabric softner commercials, before my OB/GYN started me on Yaz.  I know that not everyone's religious beliefs allow for the Pill, but it's something to consider.  :)
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    This may sound totally silly, but if you take an anti-histamine, you won't be as teary. Really.
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    I completely understand about crying at work just listening to the music.  Already I've embarrassed my future stepson by starting to cry while we go through lists on here like the 10 best first dance songs.  I'm usually OK as long as I don't try to speak, but once the day is here and I have to say my vows... I'll be sobbing.Cry
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    It has been mentioned by a couple of posters earlier that maybe you can try different music than the traditional Canon in D. I will be walking to "Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles and I just know it will make me smile. You could try something like that. And as with everyone else, even if you do cry, everyone will understand.
    Omigosh! October 9th is coming at me quick!
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    Just try not to hold any tension in your face, thats what makes the "ugly cry" if tear wanna flow, let them flow but relax, and no choking up, just tear flow and the occasional sniffle., have a tissue in your bust or with your maid of honor, and it will seem sweet genuine and not ugly.
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    Me too, and have been stressing a lot about what im going to do so that im not bawling. but after reading the posts about how others have cried and it gets others going too etc im not so worried. At the moment what always brings tears to my eyes is our wedding dance song so if i manage to not cry during the ceremony think I will during our dance.
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    I work as a wedding planner, and I have yet to make it thru a ceremony or father/daughter dance without sobbing. One thing I recomend is sticking a small pack of tissues in the grooms tux, unless your dress has pockets. Its always adorable when in the middle of the first dance the groom pulls out the tissues for the bride.
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    I was once given a tip and it does work, squeeze your nails into the palm of your hand so much that it hurts(do not draw blood lol!!) It can distract you enough and stop the tears and it does work!!! Good luck and if you fill up so be it, don't worry about it, people will just think it is sweet and prob cry along with you! x
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    i am getting teary just reading this thread. uh oh...
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    im having my fiancee meow at me, quietly of course, if i start to look like im gonna bawl!! :) hopefully it works!!
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    Don't worry!  I agree with most posts, they are happy tears and you will be smiling regardless.  One suggestion, if you are worried....I am a sappy cheesy person and didn't want to look like a mess walking down the aisle, so I scheduled our bride/groom & bridal party photos before the ceremony.  It really put me at ease, and our photographer set up a cute 'groom & bride see each other for first time' moment and let us have some privacy also.  It went perfectly, and left some precious cocktail hour moments for us to actually mingle with our guests!  Good luck, and it really will be the best day of your life!
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