Italy?

Bonnie27

So my FI is getting freaked out about the cost of a local wedding.  We are having a small wedding (about 25 guests) and are really having trouble finding a venue that we not only love but can afford and won't be huge.  So my FI suggested we look at spending the money differently by have a small civil ceremony here in the states (for all the legal reasons) and then flying to Italy for an actual wedding.  For the cost of the wedding here with a honeymoon, it would be about the same for an Italian wedding.   Is this crazy???

 

ElisabethJoanne

Yes. A trip from Col. to Italy will be at least $2,000. You could have a very nice wedding for $25 people for $80/head. I once priced cake and punch and the plates and forks and napkins at less than $2/person.

ElisabethJoanne

In lots of European countries, the Roman Catholic Church requires a civil marriage before a sacramental marriage. Remember the royal wedding in Monaco? They had a civil ceremony the day or 2 before the church ceremony. A tiny bit of google research shows that this is sometimes, but not always, the arrangement in Italy. If so, it would not be a do-over. One would be the civilly legal wedding. One would be the canonically legal wedding.

ootmother2

The Italian government strongly suggests that non Italian couples have a civil ceremony in their own country before a wedding there.

Religion makes it necessary, the government makes it strong suggested

Do it or have a small wedding here that you can afford.

Frankly, I would go to Italy

ElisabethJoanne

The civil government, and not the church, are the final authority on what qualifies as a valid marriage? It's not the government requiring the 2 ceremonies; it's usually the Church, and I think that's the Church's right, just like I think it's the Church's right to bless unions the government doesn't recognize or to deny marriage for reasons like both spouses not being the same religion.

I don't see the the OP looking for a do-over. She may want a marriage that is both civilly and canonically valid. To do that in Italy, she may need 2 separate ceremonies.

I agree the money situation makes no sense. How a wedding in Italy could be cheaper than in Colorado is beyond me, especially for only 25 people.

ootmother2

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_italy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:8404ca1b-16e0-49d6-b79b-15c874cccb1bPost:f24ed5af-4477-4051-8a98-5955773c8083">Re: Italy?</a>:
[QUOTE]The civil government, and not the church, are the final authority on what qualifies as a valid marriage? It's not the government requiring the 2 ceremonies; it's usually the Church, and I think that's the Church's right, just like I think it's the Church's right to bless unions the government doesn't recognize or to deny marriage for reasons like both spouses not being the same religion. I don't see the the OP looking for a do-over. She may want a marriage that is both civilly and canonically valid. To do that in Italy, she may need 2 separate ceremonies. I agree the money situation makes no sense. How a wedding in Italy could be cheaper than in Colorado is beyond me, especially for only 25 people.
Posted by ElisabethJoanne[/QUOTE]


It really is the government.  Trust me, I llived there.
Nothing is  approved without sufficient stamps from government officials.  She should make it easier on herself and do the first legal wedding here.

aloisk57

Check out runawaybrideandgroom.com - I wanted to do a DW (FI wouldn't let us boo) but this is where I went to find everything.  They have some great deals.

ElleB87

Personally I don't see a point in what you're doing. H and I got married in Ireland but we wouldn't have if we weren't able to be legally married. If you think a local wedding is expensive, how do you figure you will save money by going to Italy? Europe is normally expensive and Italy is one of the most expensive countries to visit in Europe...

Bonnie27

Thank you all for a lively discussion.  Just to clarify, we were certainly not planning a "do-over"; that's just weird.  I will check out that website!  

mizutamababy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_italy?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:8404ca1b-16e0-49d6-b79b-15c874cccb1bPost:82b11141-185d-466b-8b6e-5ade7d02a620">Re: Italy?</a>:
[QUOTE]Your legal ceremony is your actual wedding.[/QUOTE]

While agreed in general, I imagine it would be a lot more work for two Americans legalize their wedding here after doing it overseas than it would be to have the ceremony here first and then the wedding in Italy.  Also, as other PPs said, that's not usually the custom there.

Where I live the ceremony is not legally binding so the marriage must be performed at city hall no matter what before or after the "real" ceremony, unless someone does a DW overseas where the ceremony is legally binding and then they can just provide a translation of the marriage license/papers and register.

Unfortunately when you choose to do things internationally etiquette isn't always so cut and dry.

[Deleted User]

I just don't understand how flying to Italy is cheaper than having a small wedding where you live.  Are you paying for the flights for your guests?  If not, are your guests able to afford the plane tickets, transportation to-from airport, hotels, and all other expenses during the trip?

And from my understanding, many European countries allow a 'civil' wedding and a 'church' wedding.  Would you be flying to Italy to get married in the church?