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Memorial ideas

Just 5 months now til my wedding, & I lost my mom!!!!! :( Anything anyone has done or seen, as a special, unique way to recognize & honor her presence at the ceremony? I'd like to do more than just have the Reverend mention her in a prayer. Thanks knotties!!!

Re: Memorial ideas

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    I am actually trying to think of ways to honor my brother who passed away 2 years ago now. You can always put a picture up with a candle lit for her, leave an empty seat for her and possibly have some flowers or decorations so everyone knows it was saved for her. My mom had the idea of right before I walk down the aisle, to actually light a candle for him, but I think I would end up crying the entire way down the aisle.
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    I did think of maybe "saving" her a seat. I too was afraid it would make me soooo distraught I wouldn't be able to compose myself!! But I love the idea...very sweet!! Is that what u r going to do for your brother? I'm curious to know what u decide upon. Thanks for ur help!!
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    Thank you!! I'm so very sorry for you too!! It's very comforting to know that I'm not alone :) I too, LOVE the empty seat idea, but don't know if I can handle it. What are you going to do for your father?
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    I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I know you'll be missing your mom in the coming months, and especially on your wedding day.

    I'd advise you to do something subtle that you'll know about, but won't change the mood of you and your guests on your wedding day.  As a mom, I think it's safe to say that your mom would be very, very sad if the attention on your wedding day shifted from her beautiful daughter to herself.

    I'm not at all a fan of the empty chair thing.  I think it's a far too visual, far to "in your face" thing to have to see that day.  You'll know more than anyone that your mom isn't there.  Why emphasize that?

    Did you mom have a favorite flower?  Make that your bouquet flowers.  You can get bouquet charms that hold a photo.  Get one of those and put your mom's picture in it and have your florist work it into your bouquet.  Do you have any of your mom's jewelry?  Maybe you can wear a pair of her earrings, or a bracelet or necklace that was hers.

    Remember above all that your mom will be so proud of her beautiful daughter, and will want everyone thinking about the radiant bride.  

    My mom died exactly 3 weeks to the day before my DD's wedding.  They were very close, and it was very sad that grandma wasn't with us.  But she would have killed us if we had made the wedding about her and not her granddaughter......  =)

    Good luck to you, sweetie. 
    "Trix, it's what they/our parents wanted. Why so judgemental? And why is your wedding date over a year and a half ago? And why do you not have a groom's name? And why have you posted over 12,000 posts? And why do you always say mean things to brides?" palegirl146
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    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom. I lost my dad in January, so I understand.

    I've seen a table with pictures, something in the program, or an empty chair at the ceremony with a rose on it. Kudos to you for thinking you can handle anything like that. It'll be so hard not having my dad there to walk me down the aisle. I know I personally couldn't see an empty chair without balling and I know he wouldn't want me to be sad on my big day. Also, my mom is still an absolute wreck and I think it would be very hard on her. 
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    Oh, I like the idea of a locket in my bouquet. I might do that...
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    So sorry for your loss.  Would you like to pin a picture of your mom to the inside of your dress?  Then you know she is with you that day.

    My FI and I are having a memorial section in our programs to remember those who have passed away.
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    First of all I am so very sorry for your loss.  Many hugs to you

    I would also advise something subtle. 
    Your wedding is a happy occassion and your mom wouldn't want you or your family members to be sad over her being gone instead of celebrating your marriage.
    I find things like the empty chair are very "in your face" and will likely be very difficult for you as well...the day will be very emotional as is it.

    My grampa passed away suddenly a month and a half ago.  He was supposed to sing while I walked down the aisle
    I thought of playing the song he was going to sing, but that would be way too hard, I would just end up crying all the way down the aisle
    I ended up asking my gramma if I could borrow my grampa's wedding ring and have her tie it into my bouquet the day of the wedding.
    It is a way for my grampa to be involved in our special day that will be private to only my, my gramma and a few immediate family members.  Its also very special to my gramma and I think its a beautiful symbol of their 55 years of marriage to carry with me down the aisle.

    Good luck, you will find something that will be right for you
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    My condolences for your loss.

    I like the idea of doing something subtle as well. The "empty chair" would bring a lot of sadness to your day and I feel like you should be celebrating your marriage rather than mourning your mother (I'm sure she would want it this way). I think wearing her jewelry or using flowers she liked is a great way to honor her.
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    Awwww, thank you Trix!!! U actually made me cry! :) I think I am agreeing with you!! I don't think I could handle the chair, nor would it be fair to put my dad through that!!! I love the picture on my bouquet idea!!!! I want not just me (like I could not!) to think of & remember my mother that day...& what better way than to have her pic with me!!! Thanks for your kind words....I so appreciate them!!!!
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    Thank you to all of you for your kind thoughtful words!! Although I don't know any of you personally, you have helped & comforted me greatly!!!! I did take a few ideas away that I will use! I think I am going to put her pic on my bouquet...on the back, close to me, & will ask my dad if I may wear her wedding ring on my right hand that day! Thanks again for your insight!!!!
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_memorial-ideas-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:863a2715-f633-4752-b342-ce99503d2430Post:452bea98-a47f-4291-9483-41bf67c7d831">Re: Memorial ideas</a>:
    [QUOTE]I'm so very sorry for your loss.  I know you'll be missing your mom in the coming months, and especially on your wedding day. <strong>I'd advise you to do something subtle that you'll know about, but won't change the mood of you and your guests on your wedding day.  As a mom, I think it's safe to say that your mom would be very, very sad if the attention on your wedding day shifted from her beautiful daughter to herself. I'm not at all a fan of the empty chair thing.  I think it's a far too visual, far to "in your face" thing to have to see that day.  You'll know more than anyone that your mom isn't there.  Why emphasize that?</strong> Did you mom have a favorite flower?  Make that your bouquet flowers.  You can get bouquet charms that hold a photo.  Get one of those and put your mom's picture in it and have your florist work it into your bouquet.  Do you have any of your mom's jewelry?  Maybe you can wear a pair of her earrings, or a bracelet or necklace that was hers. Remember above all that your mom will be so proud of her beautiful daughter, and will want everyone thinking about the radiant bride.   My mom died exactly 3 weeks to the day before my DD's wedding.  They were very close, and it was very sad that grandma wasn't with us.  But she would have killed us if we had made the wedding about her and not her granddaughter......  =) Good luck to you, sweetie. 
    Posted by trix1223[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>Agreeeeeeed. Sorry for your loss, OP ]:

    </div>
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    I am SO sorry for your loss. I just recently lost my father to brain cancer, so I can attest that it's horrible, but time helps heal.

    If I am repeating someone else, I'm sorry, but I couldn't read all the ones that were there.

    For my dad, we will either have an open seat for him with a rose or trumpet on it (he played the trumpet with the San Antonio Symphony :-)), or I was considering taking his wedding ring and tying it to my bouquet, as a smaller, more personal memorial. You could also place a single rose or momento up near the altar, but that might make you sad, and you should be happy on your special day.

    I'm so glad for you, though, that your mother was able to know your FI and share in the joy of you planning your wedding.

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    leasajleasaj member
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    One of my friends just got married and for each of her "deceased" members of the family (grandparents) she had an usher walk down the aisle with a white rose.  The roses were placed on the front pew in rememberance of the lost loved ones.  It was very sweet.
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    I made a bouquet charm with my cousins picture. I had always pictured him being at my wedding and this was a great way for me to feel like he was there with me. I made a similar charm for DH to keep in his pocket tohonor his grandmother and it really meant a lot to him. He said anytime he was feeling stressed before the ceremony he put his hand in his pocket and thought of her and it helped relax.
    Like PP said, whatever feels right for you is the right thing to do.

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    So sorry for your loss, I lost my mother 6 years ago.  I am putting a dozen yellow roses on a small table on the left side of the church so I can see them out of the corner of my eye and my dad/brother will also have site of them. 

    We are presenting all the mom's (FI comes from a blended family) with roses and will walk over and set one in front of the vase of yellow roses for my mom and then go to his side.  After the ceremony they will be taken to the reception and placed at the entrance near the guestbook and then the bar so she can be with us enjoying the festivities.  I think you should get pictures of both sets of parents and grandparents to display at the reception instead of displaying a picture at your ceremony.
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    I am very sorry for your loss, she will be with you on your day no matter what you do.
    My father has passed away, and I wanted a way to have him with me at my wedding. I didn't want to do a memorial picture (but completely understand those that do, it was just too hard for me and not something he would have wanted).
    I had a photo charm made that I will attatch to my bouquet. I got it off Etsy here: http://www.etsy.com/transaction/45213670
    If you search photo charm on etsy there are several options, that is the one I liked best. I had bought two different types, my sister will carry the other one.  This way I will have him with me as I walk down the aisle.  My fiance's father has also passed away, so on the last page of our programs I wrote a little note to both of them expressing that we know they are here today etc.  with both of their names.

    Keep her in your thoughts and the right way to have her with you will come to you.
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    amys325amys325 member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited May 2011
    My stepmother passed away a few months before our wedding, but she had worked really hard to find the perfect dress....when my dad was cleaning out her closet, I asked if I could have the dress.  I had strips of fabric cut from the bottom and made into ribbons to be tied around my bouquet and my sister's (MOH) bouquet. 
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