Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Premarital Counseling

My FI and I want my uncle (who is a christian pastor) to perform our wedding ceremony for sentimental reasons.  My uncle (who I am not that close to anymore) wants to do premarital counseling.  My FI isn't particularly religious although he does believe in god.  I'm not sure if I feel comfortable doing premarital counseling with a family member - but I"m not sure how personal it gets.  Does anyone have any experiences to share about what type of information you discuss during premarital counseling? 

Re: Premarital Counseling

  • Options
    Yeah - when I asked him, I expected that he wouldn't really feel the need to do counseling - But now I've already asked and I feel a little awkward.  I haven't done premarital counseling before so I just don't know how personal it gets.  If it's basic stuff, then I don't feel too awkward about it.  I think I just have to talk to him more about what's required and then my FI and I can decide if we think it makes sense to have a family member do it.
  • Options
    Same as pp said.... I wouldn't be comfortable talking about certain things with another family member. Sex, our finances, when we plan to start a family, what makes us argue...... some things just don't need to be aired out to the family in that way.
  • Options
    Personally I would never do premarital counseling with a family member. I am in grad school for mental health counseling and it would be unethical for me to counsel a family member, or a friend, not sure if pastoral counselors have the same rules...

    Do you really want your uncle to know about you and your FI's personal life?
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • Options
    I don't have any experence so maybe others could be more helpful, but I would not do it with a family memeber...I would think you would loose too much of your privacy. Just a thought.
  • Options
    Ditto PPs. I would never have done our counseling with a family member. While we didn't get into anything too specific in our sessions, our pastor definitely mentioned sex and other topics that would be quite awkward to discuss with family.
    **i'm a little drunk on you and high on summertime** Photobucket
  • Options
    Our priest didn't delve all that deeply, but he still asked us things about each other and our relationship that I wouldn't have shared outside that counseling relationship, and certainly wouldn't have wanted a family member to know. Surely he can have another clergy member do the counseling for you?
  • Options
    Ditto PPs.... Fi and I did 8 sessions of pre-cana/pre-marital counseling... we really learned a lot about ecah other and totaly recommend it to other couples.  But.... it does get very very deeply personal (sex, finances, child raising, famiyl background, etc).  I would not feel comfortable discussing any of these topics with a family member.  I would definitely ask if there is anyone else- totally impartial- who can do your counseling.  Good luck!
    Miss Mrs. New & Improved Blog Chart
    Online Garage Sale
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    monica & kevin married 5.28.11
    bfp 8.11.11 - m/c 8.17.11
    bfp 11.11.11 - edd 7.25.12
    Lilypie Pregnancy tickers
  • Options
    I don't know if I would do the counceling with a family member because it gets pretty personal. We finished ours around 2 weeks ago and we are so glad that we went through it. Nothing was really a surprise since we have been together quite a long time but it was an awesome experiance. I very highly recomend it to everyone! 
    We just stopped preventing January 2013! I use a tablet so please forgive my auto correct! :)
  • Options
    I wouldn't.
    I'm currently doing it with a my fiance's childhood pastor that he grew up with, and is actually like a family friend with. And even then it's awkward at times.
    And we're really close to my fiance's dad and even him I wouldn't want him knowing what makes us argue, turned on, or whatever the heck may come up.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Options

    Im in the same cousin said he would marry us. but requires the counseling. he said he wouldnt do it but has others in his church that do do it. i asked him what it consisted of and he said sex...our relationship etc. im not comfortable talking to anyone about this (esp sex). im not sure really what to do!

This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards