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In rememberance idea post#2

I had posted previously on the subject of what to do for my FI father who had passed. I wanted to do the tiny frames and attach a picture to my FI boutonniere with a picture of his father but I wanted something more as well.

I thought about having a red rose to hand out to my FMIL and his surviving siblings as they came into the ceremony. No one would know but them what it was for.

What do you think???

Any suggestions on this idea?

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Re: In rememberance idea post#2

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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_rememberance-idea-post2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:90bad48a-2d75-4e0f-b982-872669787812Post:6bbc6e72-c493-4a92-acdf-ea293a0d4290">In rememberance idea post#2</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had posted previously on the subject of what to do for my FI father who had passed. I wanted to do the tiny frames and attach a picture to my FI boutonniere with a picture of his father but I wanted something more as well. I thought about having a red rose to hand out to my FMIL and his surviving siblings as they came into the ceremony. No one would know but them what it was for. What do you think??? Any suggestions on this idea?
    Posted by Arayx2[/QUOTE]
    Have you asked them about it?  I think a lot of people would find such a gesture very difficult to handle, and it would be very depressing on what is supposed to be a happy day.  Hell, it harshes my mellow every time I think about my cat who recently died, I don't know how I'd handle such a sudden reminder of a lost parent.

    What does your FI want to do, anyway?  It's nice for you to come up with ideas for him, but this is his family, and the final decision of how to honor his father should be his and his alone.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_rememberance-idea-post2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:90bad48a-2d75-4e0f-b982-872669787812Post:367c0b9c-5f05-4bf5-8f1a-3ed0b0571642">Re: In rememberance idea post#2</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to In rememberance idea post#2 : Have you asked them about it?  I think a lot of people would find such a gesture very difficult to handle, and it would be very depressing on what is supposed to be a happy day.  Hell, it harshes my mellow every time I think about my cat who recently died, I don't know how I'd handle such a sudden reminder of a lost parent. What does your FI want to do, anyway?  It's nice for you to come up with ideas for him, but this is his family, and the final decision of how to honor his father should be his and his alone.
    Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]
    Ditto. You don't have to do more than a small frame on his bout, if that really. The wedding is a time of joy and celebration, this is a pretty sure fire way to bring the whole family down.
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    I agree with PP's. Your fiance remembers his father without anything extra like this, so I don't see a need for it unless he wants to do it too. Of course, you're welcome to, but it is kind of depressing to bring so much of it into your wedding. Handing out a flower will make them feel like they are at his funeral again...Something I have seen that is very touching to guests and family is saying something about the lost family member during your toasts.
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_rememberance-idea-post2?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:90bad48a-2d75-4e0f-b982-872669787812Post:370e9d35-a8cd-4b91-9591-f68c5772f048">Re: In rememberance idea post#2</a>:
    [QUOTE]I agree with PP's. Your fiance remembers his father without anything extra like this, so I don't see a need for it unless he wants to do it too. Of course, you're welcome to, but it is kind of depressing to bring so much of it into your wedding. <strong>Handing out a flower will make them feel like they are at his funeral again</strong>...Something I have seen that is very touching to guests and family is saying something about the lost family member during your toasts.
    Posted by sklink0486[/QUOTE]

    VERY GOOD POINT. See that is why I love the knot. I did not even think of that. Scratch the idea.

    To answer the question about my FI and what he wants - he said he wants to do something special but has no ideas. So I am kind of filtering some through TK before suggesting them to him. 

    Thanks Ladies
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    I would just light a candle at the altar. You could either put a note in the program as to why it's there or not make it as public and just let FMIL,  etc. know why you're doing that.
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    My cousin had a framed photograph of our uncle resting on the signing table. I'm going to have a small photograph of my grandmother in my boquet and something will be said to thank everyone for coming and also for those who are with us in spirit. We won't mention names because there are more than 2 and we know who they are ...
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    I will be doing a Vase that has a in memory phase on it and it goes on to say the flowers of blooms represent those that are not here. I will be putting flowers in them and have small pictures around the table with those family members that have passed away. It will be set up at the Reception.
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