Church changing things up on us two months before...

Vermon2012

Hey girls,
I need your opinion on something.  We have had the church booked for over a year.  Just a couple of weeks ago, we were asked by someone at the church if we were going to be taking pictures after the ceremony.  We replied that we probably wouldn't be because we are getting to the church early enough to get them done beforehand (and then our guests don't have to wait).  They told us they were scheduling another wedding that day at 6pm (keep in mind our is at 3pm).  We were a little mad to hear this because the church hasn't been the easiest to deal with.  We were promised the worship center for the whole day and when we originally went to reserve our date a year ago, we found that it wasn't reserved (due to some communication issues).  We now have had our date set since last November and they have sprung this on us when our wedding is in two months.  The biggest thing is that I don't want to be doing the receiving line and having people that I don't know wanting to check out the sanctuary, be poking around, etc.  We're not quite sure what to do at this time since we feel like our trust in the church has been broken and we're not sure if we even want this pastor to marry us.  When we brought these issues to her, she laid on the Christian guilt and said it shouldn't matter, etc.  What would you guys do?

Gabrielle76

Did you have a contract with them saying how long you had the sanctuary? Telling you you'll have it all day and changing it on you is really unprofessional of them.

Avion22

Do you  have a contract with the church?  If not, you should probably draw one up.  Make sure you have it somewhere in writing what time you need to have your guests/decorations out of the church, and when the other wedding can start setting up.

Keep in mind that you and the other bride might be able to share decorations and split the cost, if they'll release her name to you.   I would handle this by letting her know what you have planned, and offer to "sell" it to her for half the cost of what you paid for it.  If she goes for it, great.  If not, then you won't have lost anything.  

Edited to add:  If you really need it the whole day, and it's in your contract, then just refuse.   Or maybe you can negotiate a lower fee if you need to leave earlier than you had planned.

Vermon2012

No we didn't have it in writing (other than an email with them saying we have it for the whole day).  When we brought this up, they said they didn't want to see it, had already said okay to the other wedding, and wanted to move forward.  How do you move forward when they've gone back on their word so many times?

Vermon2012

I've found that with churches, they're definitely in it for the money but they don't run the church like a business.  They don't have anyone to answer to (besides God).  I've asked repeatedly for a confirmation of date, but I still can't get one.

Gabrielle76

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_church-changing-things-up-on-us-two-months-before?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:10Discussion:99e2cc2c-f658-4439-af5b-96284b6a1a94Post:84aa88d8-3e00-4ecb-ab39-9582aa6b5d97">Re: Church changing things up on us two months before...</a>:
[QUOTE]No we didn't have it in writing (other than an email with them saying we have it for the whole day).  When we brought this up, they said they didn't want to see it, had already said okay to the other wedding, and wanted to move forward.  How do you move forward when they've gone back on their word so many times?
Posted by Vermon2012[/QUOTE]

You have an email where they tell you what your service will entail, and you paid for that service. That's having something in writing.  They're going back on that, and I'm pretty sure you're within your rights to tell them you want your deposit back. 

lostmykeys

Ladies..you talk as if churches are like any other venue you are trying to book.  They are not.

1)  Churches are not a "business" that relies on bookings of weddings and other social events to keep them afloat.

2)  Churches have worship services, training programs, funerals,  and members to attend to besides you and your wedding.  Weddings are a very small part of what many churches do. 

That said, most churches have policies for weddings that spell out what you will get if you book a wedding with them.  Everything should be in writing and signed, with a deposit given.  If it is not, then you have to be flexible enough to work with them or find yourself another venue.

Many churches are piling on more and more requirements into their wedding policies...and some just flat won't do weddings for anyone but members...because so many future brides are so demanding.

Summer2011Bride

I guess I don't get the issue. Your wedding is at 3 and you want pictures before your ceremony.

The next wedding is not until 6. Won't your reception be in full swing by then anyhow? What time does your reception start? I just don't see how you would still need to be at the church 3 hours after your ceremony at all. We had a 3:00 wedding and had to be out by 5 so the church could get ready for their evening service. Everyone was gone by like 4:00.

I understand being frustrated if they told you one thing and did another, but truly don't see how this affects your wedding at all.

loca4pook

I agree. IF it won't affect your wedding, I would just move one. Certainly, you wouldn't want to mess up ANOTHER bride's day when you weren't even planning on being at the church afterward anyhow.

Woth that said, I would doublechevck to make sure you are still allowed to take pics ahead of time

Vermon2012

With our wedding at 3pm, we figure the service with take 40 minutes and then a receiving line for 200 guests.  We just didn't want the other wedding party arriving at 4-4:30 in the middle of our receiving line...  I understand that churches aren't out to make money but then don't charge us a 1000 dollars when we're already members.

AlexaNP

I was just at a friend's wedding this past Saturday, and there were 2 weddings scheduled.  One was at 12:00 and the one I attended was at 2:30.  My FI was the Best Man and he was instructed to show up at 1:45 with the other groomsmen to check on the progress of the other wedding, if they were done/almost finished taking pics, etc, and it turned out everyone was leaving the previous wedding at that time, AFTER taking pictures, so less than 2 hours (and our mass is over an hour!)  With this in mind, I don't think you will have any problems with anyone showing up early enough to interfere with your receiving line, or anyone else with your wedding, especially since you are taking pictures beforehand.

Vermon2012

AlexaNP-thank you!  It's good to hear that-you have calmed my fears.  Thanks ladies!