In Memory Of Ideas...

rachelccostello

I'm struggling with ideas for what to do for those who have passed. Both of my parents have passed away and my FI's dad passed away when he was young. I don't want to make it obnoxious, but I also want to honor them because they were huge parts of my life until they passed (both from cancer).

I've heard:
pictures with bouquet
flowers on empty chairs (but that would be a LOT of chairs)
memorial candle

Any others?

Avion22

I think a memorial candle, with a note in your program that "A memorial candle is lit in memory of....." is fine.  Empty chairs with flowers seems like too much for me.

maribeth721

I have also heard of the flower on an empty chair idea. I think the idea is to reserve a chair for each person who has passed and place a flower on it, not every single empty chair at your ceremony. I don't like this idea because for one as soon as I saw that, as the bride, I would burst out crying. I think it would be very sad for my guests too. Thats not the type of mood I want them in. I am doing a memorial bouquet with my mom's favorite flowers as well as a memorial candle. I am also using a portion of my mom's wedding dress and having it wrapped around my bouquet, but no one really knows that but my FI and me.

TiffannieF

I'm sorry for your loss(es).  My mother passed away 2 years before the wedding so I understand.  I have ideas and cautions about "memorials" in my bio under "In Memory Of"

kateguess22

You have to do what works for you and your family. Be cognizant of how what you are choosing will make your guests feel and pick something that you like and you feel good about.

My FI and I have both lost our fathers. I would like to wear a wrist corsage and my sister wants to wear one too because my dad always gave us corsages for our birthdays. It will be a little way to have him with me. We might get ones for my sister in law, aunt, and grandma to wear as well. My dad also called me "Moose" as my nickname so i'm trying to think of a fun way to incorporate this into the wedding (how silly, I know lol) maybe our cake topper will be little moose's or I might have the word moose stitched under my dress where nobody will see it or something like that. Or we could have Mousse for dessert for a play on words. Also we want to mention them in our program. Our wedding colours are white and purple which ties in with my FI's dad for a secret reason that our guests won't know. I may also put a little photo attached to my bouquet of my dad. I also want to buy a little ring for my pinky finger (my dad and I had a secret handshake with our pinkies) and put his birtstone in it and get it engraved with my dad's favourite quote he used to say to me every morning and wear it for the first time when I walk down the aisle. We are also considering having two candles lit where we say our vows to symbolize their presence. I'm really big on doing it in sneaky little ways that not everyone will know and doing it in fun ways that will make me smile. That's the kind of thing my dad would have wanted for sure.

Mimmer04

My wedding is over a year away, so I have plenty of time, but I am struggling with the same thing.  I have a bunch of kids that I would like to include in the wedding party without having 4 RBs and 3 Flower Girls (yes I know its lots of kids - for a later discussion).  I was thinking of calling some of them pages and having them walk down the aisle carrying pictures of FI and I's deceased grandparents.  I haven't decided yet if I am going to do this.  You could do this with kids or adults.  When your siblings walk down the aisle or BM/GM, they could carry a picture.  Just another suggestion for you to consider. 

I am sure whatever you decide will be best for you.  Good luck.

keaton1790

I have had a hard time trying to figure this out as well. I want to incorprate my grandfather, my fiance's grandmother, and my best friends mom who I was very very close with into the wedding. They all passed away from differant cancers so i am ordering 3 cancer charms and engraving each of their names on them. I will then attach them to my bouquet. That way I will have them incorportated in our wedding somehow, without upsetting our grieving family members. 

coopsbaby

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_memory-of-ideas?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:9fda673e-5a20-4811-a5df-cfc536cb7478Post:5cb6c3e8-5a7b-4e16-a86a-eb580fe7e656">Re: In Memory Of Ideas...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'm sorry for your loss(es).  My mother passed away 2 years before the wedding so I understand.  I have ideas and cautions about "memorials" in my bio under "In Memory Of"
Posted by TiffannieF[/QUOTE]

Thanks for sharing that Tiffannie. I hadn't checked out your bio, but I'm glad I did. I have been searching for something for my fi who lost his only brother when they were teenagers. I know he struggles that his brother should be his best man, and I love how you brought your mother's spirit into your day. I'm going to talk to him about some of them and see what he says. I know he'll want to do something, he carries a photo of his brother with him always, and it will mean a lot to him if we can do something. Thanks again!

jenm927

I lost my mother almost 8 years ago. I am getting married in May and I am having a charm made for me. It's actually a picture that is going to be "printed" on a domino. The domino has no meaning,really but I thought it was a nice solid sturdy piece....as opposed to a small charm. Hope you find something. I know how important it is!

thbrake1313

I am having a similar problem. I lost my brother 6 yrs ago to cancer and am looking for a way to honor him . I am going to have 6 bridesmaids and and am wondering about maybe having my fiance's sister read a poem of some kind in honor of my brother? what do yall think?