Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions


Hi folks, I have a bit of a situation and am looking for some ideas.  I would like to find a way to include a good friend from college in our wedding ceremony. Long story short I didn't ask her to be a bridesmaid because the wedding party is small and mostly family  and also she lives several states away and I was afraid it would be a bit of a burden for her. She is special to me, though, and I would like her to have a special role. Our wedding is non-religious, outdoors in June. We were thinking of asking her to do a reading but I was wondering if there are other options out there. Any ideas/suggestions would be appreciated! Thanks!

Re: Suggestions?

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    You could ask her to do a reading, or just being a guest is special, too.

    Just please don't give her some sort of "job" and pass it off as an honor, like guest book attendant or something.  Those jobs are never an honor.
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    Readings are the usual answer. She can also do the blessing perhaps. Instead of having a ringbearer you could have her present the rings when asked.

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    A reading is a great idea!!  It's a good way to have a friend participate in your wedding and honor them at the same time.  If she sings, you could have her sing something during the ceremony as well.

    I agree with the PP - just don't give her a "wedding job" (i.e. behind-the-scenes attendant, cake server, etc.).  
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    I know you will be busy the day before and the day of the wedding, but the best way to makes someone feel special in included is to actually spend some time with them.   

    Keep in touch with her between now and the wedding, and talk about what's going on with her.  Invite her to the rehearsal dinner, and to come hang out with you and the BMs before the wedding while you are getting ready.  Get some special pictures of just the two of you.
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    Being a guest is an honor. Why do people think it isn't? Anyone will prefer just being a guest than to be given the duty (they're certainly not honors) of cake cutting person or greeter/guestbook attendant, etc. Most of the "jobs" that are given at weddings are filler for the bride to delegate to people in hopes to make them feel special but the jobs are not needed at all and the people given them do not feel special. A guestbook is not rocket science. Nor is a basket sitting on a table with programs or any of the other related jobs.
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    If you plan on having toasts at your wedding, some people will ask certain guests ahead of time to be the ones to give toasts including of course the father of the bride, best man, MOH, and sometimes others.  Asking people ahead of time can help prevent the onslaught of toasts from anyone and everyone and keep things from getting obnoxious.  Anyways, if you're thinking of doing this you could ask her to give a toast, it may depend on the type of relationship you two have but maybe something to consider.  And if she is a good friend, who's dependable and won't flake out on you when she gets bored, guest book attendant is not bad! No prior responsibility for her to have to come in town early and if she's willing to do it, then she really is a good friend! No one ever wants that job, but if a friend asked to do it, I'd still be honored they considered me, even if its not for a coveted bridesmaid spot - and I'd get to wear a better dress of my own choosing!
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    Thank you for the ideas! Yeah I didn't mean a job like guest book attendant or anything like that. I want her to be a part of it, not have to "work." I think I will have her do a reading, and maybe even a toast,too!
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