What do you think?

loohoo22

Ok, so my FI is a US Marine and he told me yesterday that he might be going overseas next year and would miss our wedding!!! (yea i know!) the bad thing is that he wont find out until december! I told him that i want to be married before he leaves (if he has to). my problem is i dont want to have to pay and plan for everything and then have to say oh, well we have to move it all up like 4 months at the last minute! What do you think, should i go ahead and plan, should i wait or do you think we should just move the date up to the end of this year?

Current wedding date is: March 12,2011

caitlink23

Is there a reason why you are doing next year? Or a specific date? My only recommendation is that if it is possible, just plan the wedding for before he would go if it is that important to be married before he goes. I know this means a super short amount of time planning, but people have done weddings in a lot less time.

kyrgyzstan

It is likely that I will have only 6 months to plan my wedding, and it's more than possible. 

That being said, why do you want to be married before he leaves? If you haven't been through a deployment together, I'd recommend waiting until this one is over for many reasons, which will also give you extra time to plan, and planning helps get through a deployment more quickly. 

elizabethm4

Your life will ALWAYS be like this if you marry into the military, it's taken some getting used to for me! I'm planning our wedding for when Christmas leave is supposed to be, but FI is in Iraq and if they get extended he'll miss it. There will always be a chance that your date will have to change, make sure your vendors know this and add a "date changes will not result in deposits being lost" clause to all your contracts.

loohoo22

He just told me that they want volunteers and he isnt going! Why cant he tell me this first!?!?! Thank you for your advice!

Beachy730

Glad to hear he doesn't have to go.  Yet at least.  I just wanted to say though that if there is another possibiility, which really there always is, I would just plan it for before he might leave.  We had to plan quick and its been easy.  FI and I were planning on a New Year's Eve wedding this year, and we knew we would be getting stationed somewhere new in September.  In February we found out that we are going to Washington state, and we currently live (and our wedding is in) New York.  We decided to bump it up to before we moved since it would be too expensive and hard to plan from cross country.  Since we already knew the church and reception we wanted, I asked both for available dates in July and August, and we ended up with July 30th, which left us with less than 6 months to plan.  And honestly, its been very easy, and I would never want it any other way.  You don't have any time to second guess your choices and that makes it pretty easy.  Plus I see so many people plan for a year and a half or so, and to me that's way too long to be stressed about it.  So really I just wanted to let you know that if you have to bump it up it wouldn't be the end of the world. 

FYI- If you do bump it up, be prepared for people to immediately look  down at your belly upon hearing, since they all assume you're pregnant!  Haha, trust me, and it sucks!

Laura&Buster

Ah...the military always seems to mess with your plans.  I am a 20 year retiree' who is engaged to a great guy who is still on active duty.  Plan for the worst case senario...always.  We are getting married by ourselves and then we are having a reception a month later.  That is the only way that we could work it out but I think that it is better that way.  I hope that he doesn't have to leave.

loohoo22

Thanks for the advice!  I dont think he will be going over anytime before the wedding lol but we all know that can change!

@dnbeach12-if we do have to bump it up and people think im pergnant than i will be so mad b/c everyone who knows us knows we are both virgins! lol so i hope they would understand!

Beachy730

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_think-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:0a527880-2b8d-43e6-8c3b-f0fe7b0f66faPost:ad191151-2d98-4801-b902-4250157fdd78">Re: What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]@dnbeach12-if we do have to bump it up and people think im pergnant than i will be so mad b/c everyone who knows us knows we are both virgins! lol so i hope they would understand!
Posted by loohoo22[/QUOTE]

Haha I hope they would understand! 

Ebattani

So obviously having 9 months to a year to plan a wedding is ideal, but I'm planning my wedding to my Marine in 4 months and I'm still getting the beautiful wedding of my dreams-- you just have to work harder and faster and enlist the help of family and friends. I actually feel a lot more at peace because the closer you are to the actual date, the more dates are sort of 'solidified' (as much as they can be in the military, ha!). I don't know that I could plan a wedding for a year down the road without constantly worrying (more than I already am) because plans change so often in the military. Personally, I know my fiance's deployment schedule has changed 3 times in the last 9 months, but the current date we now have has remained the same for several months now, so I feel more confident about it. It's definitely possible to plan a wedding in a short period of time, although remember that some things may cost more (i.e. rush fees for dresses to make sure you get them on time). If moving the date up causes financial problems, consider moving it to a friday night. Vendor fees are often less expensive and more vendors are available "last minute."  If you do decide to go with the original date (and even the early date) ALWAYS make sure there is a specific military clause in everything you sign. If people aren't willing to put one in, they probably aren't who you want for your wedding anyways. Also, always ask if people offer military discounts-- a lot of people are generous and accommodating for military couples! It's saved me and my parents a lot already! Happy planning and I see you're from Alabama, so War Eagle.. if you're a tide fan then never mind.

kfrisbee

I've planned my wedding in four months, my FI is in Army currently in Iraq.  We planned it for when he comes back to the states and has his month off after deployment.  It is a pretty tight timetable cause if he gets deloayed coming back even a week (which does happen) it oculd screw us up.  But oh well its what happens when you marry into military.

mysticl

I'm marrying a sailor and the wedding is almost exactly 6 months from the proposal.  It was that or wait till after deployment which would put us getting married close to the time we would be transferring and that would be a huge headache.  I just keep my fingers crossed that he will be home for the wedding.  All I get to know about his schedule is "ish".  I swear my next ticker is going to be a countdown to shore duty.