Trying to be a good mil FI- NWR and longish

StarJay

I know you ladies will understand, so I am going to vent to you all.  I have it easier than some here, because my FI is active duty AF and in career that protects from ever having to deploy non-voluntarily. We live together and do not have to worry too much about deployment, or orders to a new duty station.  But he works graveyards...and the shop he's in doesn't rotate that shift, he's been working it for 12 mos now, b/c he's single w/ no kids.  I work 9-5 he works 1pm until whenever...normally 1-2 am. If we are lucky we get to see each other for dinner, but that's normally only a day or two a week.  We do get weekends off together, but they are spent doing all of the stuff around the house and for the wedding that we can't do independently.I am so tired of coming home to an empty house that is supposed to be home for two. I come home, make dinner, hope he gets to come home to eat, then clean up, do wedding stuff or housework, and go to bed alone.  He gives me a kiss when he comes to bed, and I give him one when I get up 4 hours later. *sigh* I was totally okay for the first 6 months, but damn its getting old.  I understand wanting to give the guys w/ wives and esp w/ kids a break and let them work days, but it'd be awesome if even once in 3-6 mos they could swap so I and the other spouses (FI the only unmarried guy in his shift) could see our loved ones a bit.Anyway, thanks for listening.

CharlieMaverick

Feel free to vent away, that's what we're here for too, not just wedding stuff.I can relate kind of, DH is a firefighter in the Air Force and has a pretty demanding schedule. He has 24 hour shifts so he is at work from 7am to 7am the next day with a day off in between. So I only see him if I am able to bring dinner but only get about an hour to stay and eat. His days off he spends getting stuff done around the house that I can't do and preparing for the next day at work. It's fine for now that I am just doing the housewife thing, but I'm starting two part time jobs soon so I'm worried that will hinder our dinners, and give us less time together when he is off because I'm working.Anyways, work schedules can suck but you learn to deal. Sounds like you're getting tired of it and I can imagine, it's only a matter of time I will get annoyed with seeing him every other day. Good luck with adjusting and finding a sense of sanity in it all!

MrsWilson0611

I can see how that would be frustrating since it is a long-term situation.  It would definitely be more fair if there was some kind of rotation.  You and your FI are still a family even if you don't have kids!  Despite your awful schedule, I'm sure you already know how lucky you are.  I would give anything to have my FI safe at home.

angelsmile

That kind of crap always pissed me off too.  Dh used to get the crap duty days (Thanksgiving and Christmas) when we were engaged and it always pissed me off to no end.  Maybe they could CREATE a freaking family if you ever gave them time off, ever think of that?In this situation, though, since this is his everyday schedule and has been for awhile I'm not sure what can be done about it.  Does he know if it's due to change anytime soon since he's been doing it so long?

StarJay

Angelsmile, the shop "tries" to go to a different shift arrangement every 3-4 months to make sure the guys aren't having to work too much (i.e. 3 shifts of 8-9 hrs each), but due to manning issues always end up going back to two shifts: a 9 hour day shift and 13-16 hour night shift.  But they never switch up who is on which shift.And I feel you on the holidays.  The night shift always covers the shop on Holidays, and the base's down days and "family" days.  He's worked every holiday since last Sept, except for Christmas, but that's b/c he'd put in for leave a year in advance.