Need Advice: Future Army Wife

rinanmatt

Hi Gals,I am fairly new to the boards but have gotten some great advice already just perusing through the posts. It seems you all support each other really well, so I thought I'd put out a post asking for some advice.My fi proposed to me this past October on our 1 year anniversary, and I happily accepted. We planned to get married in early of 2011, after he comes back from his deployment. Lately he has expressed that he wants to get married, legally, before he goes to AIT in December, as there are so many financial benefits when you are a married coupl. He said that we can still have our reception in early 2011 like we planned, but I wonder if it would diminish the value of our celebration since we got married earlier. I really was hoping to have a traditional wedding, saying our vows in front of our family and friends, but can't help also think of the practicality of getting married before he deploys. What are your thoughts? What would you do?Thanks for any advice you can offer....Rin

bintmejnuna

Check out the post below called "you'll get a kick out of this." It gives a lot of opinions on this. It's pretty common thing for military brides to do, I've noticed. Personally, I wouldn't do it. You do a JOP ceremony, you're married. That's it. You want a big wedding, you wait until you can have it and do it then. You just have to decide if the benefits and money are more important than a big wedding day. If you do decide to JOP and have a reception later, please just be honest with your family about your marital status. I'm sure they'll understand you getting married early a lot more than you lying to them. That's my thoughts on the matter. You're welcome to disagree.

meltoine

Welcome! ditto PP. I think most of the ladies on this board weighed in on this topic there. It's very common among military couples, but some people are against it. You may also find that some of your family and friends- particularly older, more traditional types won't be wild about it either. Although, it does seem that as long as you are honest, most people are just happy to celebrate with you. That being said, every situation and couple is different. Good luck with your decision - and don't be a stranger. This board is a great resource, but could use a little livening up!

ltsgirl09

Hey Rin, Thats actually what we are doing so that the boys and I will have the benefits and the paychecks to pay the bills, but without the stress of planning a wedding in under 3 months. So while he is deployed overseas I'll plan the ceremony and have over a year and less stress. It is easier for us to do that, but its simply what you want to do. Just dont keep your JP a secret from your family, that will hurt them.   Caitlin

kaynix21

I think that if you want the traditional wedding, it will, in your words, diminish the value of your celebration.The financial stuff is nice of course. However you've only been together a year, so maybe it will be better for you to wait.FI and I always said we would get legally married before he deployed, but since we haven't faced that actually scenario yet, I don't know what we would do.But you can always legally married, and have a celebration when he does get home. It's really up to you.I hope P&E didn't give you too much crap.

tendonhead

You may want to look at my post at the bottom called General Questions. Also Legally Marrying Before Our Big Day and Ceremony in December.

rinanmatt

Thank you all for your thoughts and advice!  It has given Fi and I alot to think about.  I will keep everyone posted as to what we decide...