Military Brides

Wedding Date & Deployment

Hello all! :)

My FI and I just got engaged over 2 months ago and we're having a tough time settling on a date.
My parents have made their wishes very clear that we give our engagement ample amount of time and they really don't want us to be married before 2013. With that being said, as of now my FI's unit is scheduled to deploy in October of 2013. And we all know the military...that will definitely change! I have my heart set on a spring date, and so far May 26 is sounding good. But is that too close? It's memorial day weekend and we live in Chicago, so popular venues book VERY quickly especially on high-demand weekends, like ours. So we need to really be looking and booking a venue ASAP. Any thoughts? He's National Guard if that helps.
Then again one of his buddies in his unit told us not to worry about the deployment date, but I definitely don't want to lose any money with deposits and such. Thanks ladies!!!
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Re: Wedding Date & Deployment

  • LetsHikeTodayLetsHikeToday member
    2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Hi there! I would tell you to pick a date that you feel most comfortable with. Can you sit down with your family and discuss your concerns about spring 2013 and deployment? Also some venues will have military clauses in case your FI does get deployed. I'd look closer at those venues! Good luck :-)
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  • edited December 2011
    Even if a venue doesn't offer you a military clause, ask them for one. If they say no, then don't work with them.  It doesn't matter if that is the most beautiful venue in the world, if they won't work with you, run away from them. Because if his deployment got moved up and your venue wouldn't work with you.. IMO that would make it pretty unattractive..

    I don't see a problem with a may wedding and a deployment in October. Have you ever been through a deployment though? I (as well as some other girls) always reccomend going through at least one deployment before you tie the knot. Deployments (distance in general) can make or break relationships. My H has been stationed in Japan for the last year and a half. We got married close to 7 months ago, and he left to go back Jan 1, 2011. I won't see my H for our first anniversary, or for our birthdays, other holidays. He'll come home in mid Februrary 2012, and we'll FINALLY get to live together. It's been really hard, and trust me, we've had a lot of fights and problems, but we're stronger because of it.. If you decide to wait until after his deployment, I would suggest waiting at least 5-6 months after to make sure that if his return date gets pushed back you'd still be safe..

    Welcome to the Board!!
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Welcome!  Ditto everything Sami said.  Especially about not working with a venue that wouldn't provide some type of military clause.  H and I knew we were going to have our wedding at our specific venues at some point anyways, so for us we just asked them to guarantee that if we had to change the date for military reasons they would move our deposit and contract to a new date with no change or penalty. 

    Also, just a heads up, I would probably scrap this account and create a new one with a different email account that doesn't contain your full first and last name.  I recommend that for anyone on these boards because there are some crazy lurkers out there who do things like contact your FI, your employer, or your venues.  Especially with the military though it is an important PERSEC practice.  You aren't able to delete your account or change your name, but since you have only 3 posts I would just scrap this one.  
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  • edited December 2011
    Ditto Sami and Beach.


    H and I got married last Memorial Day Weekend in Minnesota. It's a very popular lake, cabin time so we were worried about cutting into guest's holiday weekend. In the end it wasn't a big deal. The perk was it gave our guests extra travel time. We only had one vendor (hair stylist) that wasn't able to work a holiday weekend.

    We made sure that every vendor from flowers, cake to church knew H's military status and the potential date changes. If they were unwilling to put in writing that we move deposits to a different date because of military duties, then we didn't work with them. Every vendor we picked was very accommodating.

    Happy Planning!
  • edited December 2011
    Could you do the weekend before Memorial day weekend? I'm guessing prices would be higher this time for your guests as far as travel and hotel rooms and you could avoid your venues being booked. Just a thought. Congrats!
  • julieadamskijulieadamski member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    thanks everyone!!! much to think about...

    and i think just to save us some stress we're just gonna move up the date to oct 2012. less stress and more wiggle room.

    and thanks @dnbeach12 about the name thing...can't change it though :( boo.
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  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_wedding-date-deployment?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:5752b93c-4a23-4bf6-bf09-6bf0e026795dPost:32541380-a65a-45d2-b03d-14559ee629f7">Re: Wedding Date & Deployment</a>:
    [QUOTE]Also, just a heads up, I would probably scrap this account and create a new one with a different email account that doesn't contain your full first and last name.  I recommend that for anyone on these boards because there are some crazy lurkers out there who do things like contact your FI, your employer, or your venues.  Especially with the military though it is an important PERSEC practice.  <strong>You aren't able to delete your account or change your name, but since you have only 3 posts I would just scrap this one.  </strong>
    Posted by dnbeach12[/QUOTE]

    We know you can't change it. Thats why Beach said that. Just create a different account, and when you make that sn, don't make it your first, last, or future name. I mean, even now, you have 8 posts, thats not alot to lose..
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