Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Big wedding + Reception vs. Small wedding + multiple receptions

I have a large family due to divorced and remarried parents.  My FI has a very small family in comparison.  I have extreme stage fright and don't trust the "adults" in my family to act like adults since they haven't been in a room with each other and spoken nicely in over 15 years.  This sparked my idea of a small, intimate ceremony (30 or so) and have each side of my family host their own reception that my FI family would be invited to.  However, my Momzilla and bridesmaid are trying to convince me that this is a horrible idea and that I should just have one large wedding and tell my family to put up or shut up.  Any ideas or suggestions?? I tried a pro's and con's list and I think I'm more confused than before.
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