Fiance's Brother is in Iraq

emilyjc14

We want to have something at the wedding for him, such as a picture or etc. But we would need some way of explaining it with like words, because it is not a really like a memorial candle.

Any Ideas?

iluvmytxrgr

My H was deployed when his brother got married.  (Actually, if they had waited 4 weeks, he could have been there.  But she wouldn't agree because it was always her dream to have a Christmas wedding.  What ever.)  Anyway, BIL wanted H to be his BM.  He decided not to choose anyone else.  The other GM's left the BM spot open next to BIL. In the program, it listed DH as the BM and mentioned that he was in Iraq. DH prepared a toast and emailed it to FIL for him to deliver at the reception. 

Kathleen Rachel C

Oh wow, I think having his an an honorary best man is an awesome idea!  It would be very sweet if you contacted his brother and have him write a toast for the reception. Great idea (above)!

Askauntiejane

Having military connections I have been used to military situations and done military weddings in the past and became Aunt Jane as a pseudo none military aid to what is the life of change.

There is a way you can do a link and perhaps get the brother of your husband to be to ring if possible and to have a message read out and his present there. The last thing you want is photographs or a spare seat. It is omnious for anyone and none attending guests at any establishment have the room planned not to draw attention to none attending guests. Security of the serving person is paramount too. A simple taped message from him would be lovely for his brother, or as said if possible the use of a timed link to ring. You could send him a special gift parcel that troops get and put in before the wedding stuff he can eat as a minature parcel so he has his 'setting' in the desert. That would be good as he can share it in a way apart and have a laugh about it.  Think about it. A special parcel just for him. Why stop there. He will know at least one other person who gets no treats, so a parcel with goodies that is enough for sharing is one the desert boys would like.

There are special things to send and not send. Make it fun, and make his parcel special as I am sure his brother will know how to do and share with you making it and sending it as 'honorary bestman'.

iluvmytxrgr

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_fiances-brother-iraq?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:bc139d4f-9a9d-4b8c-b653-5db57ef0dacdPost:905b2c35-e4e3-4883-8ded-2c77df6983f7">Re: Fiance's Brother is in Iraq</a>:
[QUOTE]Having military connections I have been used to military situations and done military weddings in the past and became Aunt Jane as a pseudo none military aid to what is the life of change. There is a way you can do a link and perhaps get the brother of your husband to be to ring if possible and to have a message read out and his present there. The last thing you want is photographs or a spare seat. It is omnious for anyone and none attending guests at any establishment have the room planned not to draw attention to none attending guests. Security of the serving person is paramount too. A simple taped message from him would be lovely for his brother, or as said if possible the use of a timed link to ring. You could send him a special gift parcel that troops get and put in before the wedding stuff he can eat as a minature parcel so he has his 'setting' in the desert. That would be good as he can share it in a way apart and have a laugh about it.  Think about it. A special parcel just for him. Why stop there. He will know at least one other person who gets no treats, so a parcel with goodies that is enough for sharing is one the desert boys would like. There are special things to send and not send. Make it fun, and make his parcel special as I am sure his brother will know how to do and share with you making it and sending it as 'honorary bestman'.
Posted by Askauntiejane[/QUOTE]
I'm thinking you are a vendor.  You may want to read TN's policy on vendors posting.  Also, I find it very difficult to read your post.  It's almost broken English and doesn't make a lot of sense.

kyrgyzstan

I'm with TX, I read that a few times and am still not exactly sure what you're getting at. 

Askauntiejane

No I am not a vendor. Read it. I am a veteran,  a real one. I am also an advocate for armed forces who were not able to come and have a wedding some years ago. I had my wedding with a first Gulf war hero as stand in for my father 19 years ago.

I did his honeymoon here as he did me the honour of supporting me. I am a boffin, and truly English as born, raised and educated in England.

But the question was on military and so I expect military to understand me and they do. As do my fraternity of veterans. It is simple.

Send a parcel to the person missing. It is standard procedure in England to send stuff the American troops get anyway. So perhaps that is why it is not understood.

suz62984

I like Rach's idea of the picture and a few words. Just be clear when writing the text that when you say "couldn't be with us today" give the military reason or something. You don't want it to sound as if he had passed or something. I had a friend who did this and everyone kept coming up to her at the reception and saying how sorry they were that her FI's friend died.

emilyjc14

Thanks for all the ideas. I believe will do the picture or just note him in the program.

chrisnmon

Just thought of a great surprise!  It would be cool if you asked your FI's brother to record something and send it over to you.  They have these video recorder things on base where servicemembers can record themselves and send it via email.  Either way, there are ways.  Just be sure to give him enough time.  FI's brother can record something, send it to you, and you can play it at your wedding.  It'll be a nice suprise for FI and his family to see that their deployed family member can be there in some way.  Warning though!  There might be some waterworks due to this!