Military Brides

Honest Opinons Please.

I orginially wanted a normal big wedding but i currently have a temporay job babysitting and its only untill the end of may and then i have a summer job till august but after that i dont have alot of money to save none the less to even collect up. &+  FI had brought up a wedding at the court house, and i had brushed it off because my family is all about big weddings, but im strongly considering the courthouse.  How do you feel about it?
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Re: Honest Opinons Please.

  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I feel like you should have the wedding that you can afford, because starting a marriage in debt is never a good thing when it can be avoided.

    I've seen plenty of absolutely beautiful courthouse weddings - the key is figuring out which aspects are most important to you.  The big guest list?  Then cut down the budget and have a casual backyard barbecue type affair (picnic themed might be cute?).  Having a great time with those closest to you?  Cut the guest list to 40-50 people and you'll be surprised how much more you can get out of each dollar in your budget.

    First, sit down with your FI and figure out a realistic budget that you can both afford.  Then figure out a "need to have there" guest list (the ones you cannot imagine getting married without them there).  From that, figure out what you can afford per person - that will help you establish what you can do with it.  Once you have a budget and guest list, the girls on these boards are really good at helping you come up with ideas!  Check out the Budget Wedding board, too!

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  • edited December 2011
    Well my FMIL said there was a place where you can have up to ten people at a court house wedding. so i think that would be prefect only bc i only want 4-5 people there from my family. We did come up with a budget for a big wedding, but he wants to pay for it all but i strongly believe in if we are getting married it should be an equal effort. so being that i cant match it i feel the need to just have a small court house wedding that i can afford to split with him.

    I really like your idea of having everyone at the reception after with the picnic theme i will strongly consider that. thank you :)
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  • edited December 2011
    I agree that you should have the Wedding you can afford. Depending on the time of year you want to have it, if it is outdoors the themes are endless. You could do a rustic country theme, a garden theme, a pinic theme like calindi mentioned etc.
    The Budget board brides are full of awesome ideas, and the DIY board will give you tons of things you can make yourself. Its complete possible!! :)

    In Minnesota there is a historic courthouse that has beautiful ceremonies, I'm sure you could find something similar in your area. If you wanted something more than a typical courthouse.

    HTH! GL and Happy Engagement!
  • edited December 2011
    thank you shan :)
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  • iluvmytxrgriluvmytxrgr member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    We got married in my mom's living room.  A golfing buddy of my step dad is a retired judge, he married us.  We had 20 people there.  We had dinner and cake right after.  Then we all went out to one of our favorite hang outs.  The entire thing cost $500.  It was perfect.
    We do plan on having a VR for our 10th anniversary and going all out for it. 
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  • edited December 2011
    It's never a bad idea to do what you can afford and are comfortable with paying for. I am doing the courthouse wedding because we can't afford to have a big wedding now. Though we do plan on saving for it and doing it in a few years. We just talked about getting someone to marry us somewhere outside of the courthouse so we could involve more family. But we do plan on doing a reception with everyone there. My mother decided to take on the task of cooking, which is helping us out immensly. A really close family friend was a florist and we plan on doing our own centerpieces from wholesale flowers to keep it cheaper. (we also plan on doing simplier centerpieces so it's not hard to do). And depending on the time of year, can help with the theme or outdoors/indoors. These boards have been giving me great ideas and advice, and sometimes it's really little things that you wouldn't think about doing yourself. And if people are willing to help, IE family friends or friends or family, you can do more yourself and save some.
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In most states, you can have someone ordained online register with the state and conduct your ceremony.  It's typically as expensive (if not less expensive) than a court house wedding, and you can do it however you want.  We're going to probably have a family friend officiate our ceremony since we're not religious and find it more personal.  This would enable you to have a wedding literally anywhere.

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  • edited December 2011
    I have a friend who is planning a courthouse wedding in a few months, and then saving and doing a VR in a few years. If your family can't/won't help with paying (I was lucky in that my parents wanted to pay for our wedding), then it would be wise to have the wedding you can afford. The hotel that I got married at had an elopement package that was $1000, but included a cake, the officiant, 1 nights stay at the hotel, and a $200 gift certificate that you could use in the restaurant or in the spa, the only downside that I saw was that it for up to 8 people. That was what we were originally planning to do, but Hubby wanted more family there, so we ended up with about 50 people. Our wedding was not a huge to do, but it was exactly what we wanted. In the end, you could find some DIY tips for decorations, bake your own cake, wear a short white dress instead of the big white dress, there are ways to cut corners everywhere. This is your day sweetheart, make it what you want it to be! And I personally would Love to go to a picnic wedding!!
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  • lamoureux86lamoureux86 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I agree with most of the other replies. Do what you can afford. Your wedding is ONE DAY (albeit, an extremely precious and special one) but it is nothing to get into serious debt over. What matters is the marriage, you and your man spending the rest of your lives together. If you desire a large ceremony and reception, then maybe you need to hold off and save up for it. If you are comfortable with a courthouse or small, privately planned ceremony with a casual reception afterwards, then go for it! This is your day and your life, don't put the stress of debt on yourself for one day for a party for your family and friends..because you will be dealing with it for months and years to come while they'll probably forget about it in a week (not to say they'll dismiss your wedding or anything, but you know what I mean). My FI and I are getting married next month, just me and him, then flying home (we live in Hawaii, family is Maine and New Hampshire!) to have an after-party with family and friends a couple months later..my parents are paying for the party and we are paying for our ceremony here..it's saving us LOTS of money and lots of stress! Best of luck to you!
  • edited December 2011
    A courthouse wedding isn't necessarily a bad thing.  Originally that was what i prefered because the planning of a wedding freaked me out and I didn't want to be stared at, weird I know.  Your wedding shouldn't kill you money wise.  I decided to do a desitnation type wedding so our close families could be there and do the whole wedding thing, but not a production.  I think there is something to be said for keeping it simple and working within what you have.  Especially starting out as a married couple, there are so many other things to adjust and learn, starting with a strain on money is a problem you don't have to worry with. 

    You could always do the courhouse and then have a nice meal or get together afterwards or at a later date when its financially comfortable.
  • greygarnettgreygarnett member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm doing a wedding on a budget as well. FI has been transfered around to 6 cities in as many months very unexpectedly so my income has been non-existant and I'm still unemployed now after being here for 2 months. We had to seriously reconsider our wedding too. Now I'm having a family friend makes my cake, a friend who's a dj make me a playlist to run (I also knew a girl who made her own and played it on an ipod and nobody knew!). We changed the location to my fathers house and we're using wildflowers & flowers from good friends with great gardens we pick the day before. Don't go into debt for the one day thats supposed to be your happiest, it will just make you more stressed and its not a good momento. Get married anywhere you like, no matter where you go those you love will be there and thats what matters.
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