Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

overbearing advice

My future mother-in-law seems to have an opinion about almost EVERYTHING! She is telling us what we should do and what we shouldn't, but she's not just "telling" us she's jamming it down our throats. Saying things like "if you do it that way, you'll regret it for the rest of your lives".  She's in her 60's and we're in our mid 20's so I know her views on some things aren't going to be what we actually want/feel. But I'm afraid to take her advice and then end up regreting that for the rest of my life. When is enough, enough? Should I really tell her to stop giving us advice (that we didn't ask for)? We're paying for our entire wedding so i don't feel obligated to do anything she says, but she won't stop.
Any advice?

Re: overbearing advice

  • Just don't share wedding related details around her. Plain and simple. And if she asks you about something in particular, just change the subject. If you are paying for it, I don't see the need to have her involved with the planning if she is just going to cause you stress.

    I am so thankful that my IL's were hand's off during the wedding planning process and only answered questions when we asked them about something.
  • RetredBride's advice is perfect!

    Based on other posts I've seen, he/she who pays, plays. In other words, if you are paying, you decide what you have. BTW, don't ask for money, just go with what feels right for you, and if you and your fiance are happy, it's all that matters.
  • If she asks how the wedding planning is coming along, tell her "its fine", and move on.  If she presses you for information, pass her the chips and dip, as Retread said. 
  • From someone with the same FMIL and has used the "bean dip" method - I can say it works!

    FMIL use to call me all the time and always ask about the wedding.  Then she would give 'advice' and get snippy if I didn't act like her idea was the most amazing thing ever. So stressful!   I stopped giving her details and would change the subject, and I think she got the hint...or at least gave up trying.
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