Serious Question

dwest2201

Who will take care of your parents when they are unable to care for themselves? 
Do you have a plan already?  Does SO's family?

The reason I am asking is I have 3 parents (Dad, Step-dad and pseudo step-mom).  Both step parents do not have any children of their own, my Dad only had my sister (who passed away) and myself.  BF has 3 siblings but has been elected to be the one to care for the parents as the other siblings see themselves caring for their SO's parents and unable to do it all.  So essentially we are looking at caring for 5 old people at some point.  They range from 49-60 currently so we have some time, but I do wonder how we will be able to do it if they all/or even just a few need care simultaneously

jemmini6

We have not discussed anything yet.

Stina51286

Not really sure. I think the situation and the type of care needed would make a big difference on who taks care of them. Out of my sibles I am the most responsible and will probably be without kids since we don't want them and my sibles have kids. My dad, heck I don't give an Ef since he says the same about me.

HULU

No idea. FI has his mom and stepdad in CA (where we will be living) and his dad lives in Maryland. I have my mom and step-dad here, as well as my biological dad. I have no idea what exactly the plan is when that time comes, but my mom has given me the "Don't be afraid to put me in a nursing home if I can't live by myself. I'm not going to be one of those people who guilts their children into letting me live with them because I'm too proud to be put into a nursing home." Her only request was that it would be somewhere she would be taken care of.

desertsun

None of your options really fit, b/c there is generally a progression as people age, and depending on any health conditions.

My H and I have discussed this, and would be willing to have any of our parents living with us up to a point.

However, knowing his parents and mine -- they might both prefer to be somewhat independent in an assisted living transitional sort of place.

At some point, however, round the clock professional care is really what is best for some people, IMO, and at that point, we would look into options for getting them the care they need. My H and I are not medical professionals and are not qualified to provide in home care like that.

I don't like to think of that as "putting them into a home," however.

GoldenPenguin

I don't like thinking about this. It makes me sad.

I know eventually I'll have to grow up & deal with it though. I guess it really depends on where I am when it happens. If I'm still here - or if I move with BF somewhere other than Maine, it will probably be my sister, who lives about five minutes away from my parents. If I'm back in Maine (which I hope will be the case by then), we will have to discuss it further.

swhite2012

I didn't vote, but right now I have no idea. I have seen my parents take care of their parents and it took tolls on them. My sister and I are still young, and so are our parents, but at this point it seems like we are not going to be living near each other in the future. I know it sounds selfish, but I can't imagine having elderly parents living with us, and we probably won't be living close to them when they get to that point.  I think we are going to have more of an issue with FI's parents than mine. My parents are both very independent and I can see them having too much pride to allow us to take care of them. I can forsee FI's parents being a handful though.