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S/O - Sex Ed in Schools

The Glee thread got me thinking...

What kind of Sex Ed did you get in school? Do you remember what grade/how old you were when it started? Did you get "the talk" from your parents?


I remember starting the actual intercourse part of sex ed in grade 8 (13ish years old), but before that we talked about the health part, like the anatomy of both sexes. In grade 9 and in grade 11 I had to watch a birthing video - complete with one birth involving an episiotomy, and I remember giving presentations on STDs (STI I guess now...) starting in grade 9. I don't really remember ever having "the talk" from my parents, the education in the school was pretty extensive though, so I didn't really feel like I needed more.


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Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools

  • edited December 2011
    I had anatomy sex ed (basically, explaining periods) in 5th grade.  Then I had health (intercourse sex ed, std education) in 10th grade.  My mom had the period talk with me in 5th grade and although she alluded to sex, she never explained intercourse to me.

    I seriously disagree with the idea of abstinence only education.  I think it is responsible for a lot of the STD transmissions and teen pregnancy in this country.
  • DanieKADanieKA member
    Knottie Warrior 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I remember late elementary school talking about anatomy and periods. Separated by boys & girls, of course. 

    early middle school was more hormones/ sex ed. videos. Late middle school was STD's. I still remember those videos. The woman who contracted HIV from her cheating husband still haunts me. 

    To be honest, I don't remember any sex ed in high school. Is that strange? Did they stop giving it after middle school for anyone else?

    My parents had the appropriate talks with me. About my body, periods and sex. But I am glad the school provided education (well, mostly videos) as well. It certainly didn't make me go out and have sex or think of it cavalierly. 
     
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I first got "the talk" from my dad when I was about 8 years old and randomly asked my dad how AIDS gets passed from one person to another.

    One day in 5th grade, they split our gym class up by gender and we watched a video.  Nothing graphic, and nothing involving the other sex.  Basically, the video explained menstruation... sorta.

    In 7th grade, we had full on sex ed.  Then, in high school bio, we covered the reproductive systems just like any other unit in class.
  • edited December 2011
    In 5th grade I had a brief overview of puberty in girls.  My mom bought me a book about puberty because she couldn't talk about it.  I was never required to take sex ed in public school at all.  Luckily, I was smart enough to figure everything out on my own. 

    NM is a bit behind on the education times, they should require sex ed.
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    Well I got my period in 4th grade so my parents talked to me about it then.

    Then the school taught sex ed. in 5th grade, and I changed schools in 6th grade so I got the same thing over again. Then we did sex ed in 8th grade health and in 10th grade health. I grew up in a very conservative/religious community and all of the sex ed. I got in school was primarily abstinence only. I think in 10th grade condoms and birth control were very briefly discussed.

    I personally think that teaching sex ed. with an abstinence only approach is very ineffective. I don't think that high school kids should be having sex but if they are going to they should know how to prevent STDs and pregnancy.


  • edited December 2011
    We watched a 'baby video' in THIRD grade. I remember this vividly. There wasn't any blood, but they explained where babies came from. I think that is too early. I was  a little traumatized.

    We had the puberty talk in 4th, 5th, and 6th. Every year we'd hear it again (in a different, more in depth way.) Sex was also explained to us.

    Hmmm... now I sort of think that's a little early. At least the sex ed part of it.
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  • edited December 2011
    Bourgehm, it is not too early for the kids these days.  One of my friends is student teaching and imparted the awful knowledge on me that it's becoming REGULAR for ELEMENTARY schools to have pregnant students.  Scary!!!!
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:8949e690-e6a6-4bdf-af7f-8db0df289930">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bourgehm, it is not too early for the kids these days.  One of my friends is student teaching and imparted the awful knowledge on me that it's becoming REGULAR for ELEMENTARY schools to have pregnant students.  Scary!!!!
    Posted by amsybot[/QUOTE]

    This makes me sad.


  • sparkles88sparkles88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:c2185811-f66f-4cea-95bc-cddba513393f">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had anatomy sex ed (basically, explaining periods) in 5th grade.  Then I had health (intercourse sex ed, std education) in 10th grade.  My mom had the period talk with me in 5th grade and although she alluded to sex, she never explained intercourse to me. I seriously disagree with the idea of abstinence only education.  I think it is responsible for a lot of the STD transmissions and teen pregnancy in this country.
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]


    I'm in the same boat as Shoes. I just got basic explanations and that was all. In 10th grade we got more of the sex talk, but it was definitely done with a slant towards abstinence and pro-life.

    I went to a small, sort of rural high school so I think that's probably why. Instead of learning about various forms of BC, we learned about the bad things that result from sex. We saw pictures of STIs like herpes. We also had women who had experienced abortions speak to our class. Every guest speaker said she regretted her choice of getting an abortion. They showed us a video where a woman said women shouldn't get abortions even in the case of rape, because she was a product of rape but she had went on to have a wonderful life...
  • sparkles88sparkles88 member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:8949e690-e6a6-4bdf-af7f-8db0df289930">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bourgehm, it is not too early for the kids these days.  One of my friends is student teaching and imparted the awful knowledge on me that it's becoming REGULAR for ELEMENTARY schools to have pregnant students.  Scary!!!!
    Posted by amsybot[/QUOTE]


    I've heard about stuff like that. I've read that since kids are reaching puberty earlier and earlier they're more sexually ready in a physical sense. They have all these sex hormones coursing through their bodies, but they don't have the mental maturity or education to handle them, thus resulting in situations similar to what you mentioned.

    *edit for spelling
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:02f8f7cd-cb5b-45a4-ad67-c3079467ed5e">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Well I got my period in 4th grade so my parents talked to me about it then.</strong> Then the school taught sex ed. in 5th grade, and I changed schools in 6th grade so I got the same thing over again. Then we did sex ed in 8th grade health and in 10th grade health. I grew up in a very conservative/religious community and all of the sex ed. I got in school was primarily abstinence only. I think in 10th grade condoms and birth control were very briefly discussed. I personally think that teaching sex ed. with an abstinence only approach is very ineffective. I don't think that high school kids should be having sex but if they are going to they should know how to prevent STDs and pregnancy.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    Ugh, Beth, that sucks.  I'm sorry.  :(
  • SopChickSopChick member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:8949e690-e6a6-4bdf-af7f-8db0df289930">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bourgehm, it is not too early for the kids these days.  One of my friends is student teaching and imparted the awful knowledge on me that it's becoming REGULAR for ELEMENTARY schools to have pregnant students.  Scary!!!!
    Posted by amsybot[/QUOTE]

    That makes me so sad. I still feel like I would not be ready to be someone's mom, and I'm 25 not 12!!!


    I really don't agree with the abstinence only education. That was part of the motivation for this post, I was curious what is taught in the US. I admire the moral strength of those who are able to choose to abstain until marriage, but when it's a completely personal choice without being influenced by fear of judgement. I also applaud those who make the informed decision to be sexually active when they are ready rather than caving to pressure from various sources. It's all a very personal choice.
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  • kayely88kayely88 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I remember in sixth grade we all were in the same class together and learned the anatomy sex ed in science class. There were tons of giggles and whispers. 

    My mom responded with if I had anything I had questions about she would answer them. She didn't really talk to me but bought me a book called "The Period Book" that just answered questions about periods. 

    I learned about sex through my own knowledge. I read tons of stuff because I was always a nosy reader and when I was in middle school reading about sex was liberating and gave me a rush of excitement because I felt like I was reading about such a taboo topic, go figure. I did ask my mom questions however and she did answer them.

    In high school I took general health but they were really abstinence only which I hated. I don't think abstinence only should be taught in any school. So there was this class  called Sexual Education offered at my school and almost everyone took it. 

    I ended up taking it my senior year and my teacher didn't hold anything back! She taught us about all different forms of sex (oral, vaginal, etc), homosexuality, STD's, Pregnancy, birth control methods, AIDS, pregnancy and childbirth, and even things people do as foreplay. It was so weird but exciting and she only had one rule. ALWAYS USE PROTECTION! She would beat that in us each class. 

    And it was interesting watching the birthing video. All the guys freaked out and one girl got sick and had to leave.
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  • kayely88kayely88 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:8949e690-e6a6-4bdf-af7f-8db0df289930">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]Bourgehm, it is not too early for the kids these days.  One of my friends is student teaching and imparted the awful knowledge on me that it's becoming REGULAR for ELEMENTARY schools to have pregnant students.  Scary!!!!
    Posted by amsybot[/QUOTE]

    <div>Amsybot - This is true. My sex ed teacher from high school said that puberty levels are starting to rise in elementary school kids and by the time us in our twenties have children there is a possibility we could have kids getting their period at six or seven. That scares me to death!</div>
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  • Hazel_BHazel_B member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    They didn't fully go into STDs or STIs, however you want to call them these days, but we got a big overview of everything in grade 4. To be honest, that wasn't early enough. I think anatomy should start in kindergarten and grade one , not have it be exclusively sex anatomy, but include in the topic.  In grade 2 I think they should start the puberty, pregnancy and STD talk.

    I had friends get their period in grade 3 and were fully developed by age 9. According to a doctor I watched on tv getting their period at age 8 or 9 is still normal. So, if it is normal they should be teaching kids ahead of time to be prepared so they are understanding just in case they are one of those 8 year old girls that gets theirs on the early side of normal. 
  • edited December 2011
    6th grade and 10th grade. 6th grade, both were split up so boys were with boys and girls with girls. 6th grade pretty much covered everything but intercourse. 10th grade was taught by a youth minister and we all had to sign pledge cards at the end.

     That class focused mostly on telling us that contraception doesn't work and how mentally damaging sex was. 

    Most of the kids in my class had already had lots of sex by that time, and those of us who hadn't didn't plan on it anyway. I felt bad because it was really a waste of time and money. I graduated in 2008, but it was in a class of about 30...so it might be different in larger schools?
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  • Blue & WhiteBlue & White member
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    edited December 2011
    5th grade - periods & sex, but super awkward cause the school nurse was my neighbor and the mom of another girl in the class.
    10th (but I could have taken this class any year of HS) - STDs/HIV

    I really don't remember ever talking about birth control.  Then again, I was a pretty smart puppy and could figure most of this out on my own.

    That being said, I didn't have sex in high school, so I'd be very irrelevant on Secret Life or Glee.  I'd be the unpopular virgin person.

    I also tutor a 10-year-old girl and I semi expect her to be pregnant before the end of HS.  She's obsessed with sex.  And she's not the only one in that age group that I've noticed this.  It's really scary.

    What I wonder is how do you PARENT in this day and age?  We had a strict "open door" policy with opposite sex friends...does that even work anymore?
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  • tuarceathatuarceatha member
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    edited December 2011
    My parents opted me out of sex ed in elementary school. I think I was the only kid that didn't go. They started the program in 4th grade. I got to attend a couple of classes, for various reasons, because I remember watching videos from the 80s. But my parents said they thought they should tell me all about it. And they did, but I feel like I didn't really get it until I was much much older. Ha. All the details they share in courses and classes were hard to take in with all the giggles and what not.

    And when I was a fourth grade teacher, they wanted me to start teaching sex ed. Luckily I got opted out again, because we had a school nurse that taught them that curriculum. 
  • paintgirlpaintgirl member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
     I saw "sex" and had to drop in. No sex ed in our schools, aside from the "your body in puberty" crap. It was way too late for me. I got my period in third grade. I think I was 8. It sucked.

    Other than that, I remember a book from my parents about "mommy and daddy hold each REAL close"... The rest, I'm happy to say, I've basically just made up as I've gone along. ;)
  • zipis1zipis1 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    5 grade (when I was 10), 8th (13) and 10th (15). It was actual sex ed in high school (but strongly encouraged abstinence) and the two before touched on it but were mainly "your body" types. Though each were a bit too late in their respective regards since a lot of the girls had their periods before they were 10 and many of the students had had sex by the time they were 15 (I know it started in junior high, if not 6th grade for some).

    I never did get the talk, though if I ever wanted to know something my mom wasn't shy about explaining things.

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  • Beads921Beads921 member
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    edited December 2011
    In grade 5 we got the biology stuff, but the girls and boys were split up, so we really only got the female side of things. I don't remember getting much more sex ed until high school. In grade 9, we got the whole gamut.

    I'm not thrilled with the education I received at school. It should have started earlier (ie grade 3 with lessons about your body and whats healthy), and been more detailed throughout the grades. I think the curriculum should include things like healthy relationships, safe sex (not abstinence only), STIs, knowing your body, etc etc (not all in grade 3, of course, but at appropriate ages for the subject matter). The Ontario government was going to pass legislation doing just that last year, but a bunch of parents got their knickers in a knot and it kind of got tossed by the wayside. I was ticked when that happened. Most of what I learned I learned online or from friends. The school would have provided much more accurate information I'm sure. My parents never really had a 'talk' with me, but I'm glad they didn't, I would have found it awkward.
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  • HeartOverMindHeartOverMind member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Like PP in fifth grade boys and girls were separated and the girls learned about our changing bodies and periods.

    Then in 7th and 8th grade we learned about the female and male anatomy. 8th grade we actually learned about sex and STD's. I will never forget how passionate my teacher was...I thought a vein in his neck would explode when he was telling us about the bad consequences of sex. Oh, junior high. But we thought it was the funniest thing ever.

    Finally, in high school I took health my junior year and we were taught about all forms of contraceptives and I don't remember if abstinence was taught, it might have been mentioned in passing which is kinda sad because every other girl in my HS was knocked up (but I went to church my whole life so abstinence wasn't new...and I do remember abstinence being taught in jr. high because my teacher was a professing Christian so he spent a lot of time on that.)

    We were also taught in horrible detail, STD's. I missed the class where we watched a slide show presentation on STD's...thank you drama!!!

    Oh yeah, I asked my mom when I was in jr. high if sex hurt because I had a friend who just had sex for the first time...I have a pretty open relationship with my mother so she answered all my questions. My dad talked to me and my sisters about sex and condoms...kinda weird and random. Dad conversations about sex and stuff always freak me out, but with my mom it was cool.
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  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    I don't remember ever having a class about anatomy or menstrual cycles in elementary school.

    8th grace- Abstinence education.

    9th grade- sex education, birth control, STDs
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  • caitlin.cavecaitlin.cave member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Wow, I didn't get my period until I was 14. Actually, it was on my 14th birthday.

    The first time I was introduced to sex:

    I was sitting at lunch with a bunch of people in like 2nd grade.  Everyone was discussing where babies come from.  There were the usual guesses, like "babies come from storks." and "Babies just start growing one day."  Then one of the girls said, "The only way for a woman to get pregnant is for a man to stick his penis in her vagina."  And everyone else just looked at her and started laughing.  Nobody believed her. lol
  • Wrkn925Wrkn925 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:b2025d62-9aef-47f1-b7b0-87d9600369db">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Wow, I didn't get my period until I was 14.</strong>Actually, it was on my 14th birthday. The first time I was introduced to sex: I was sitting at lunch with a bunch of people in like 2nd grade.  Everyone was discussing where babies come from.  There were the usual guesses, like "babies come from storks." and "Babies just start growing one day."  Then one of the girls said, "The only way for a woman to get pregnant is for a man to stick his penis in her vagina."  And everyone else just looked at her and started laughing.  Nobody believed her. lol
    Posted by caitlin.cave[/QUOTE]

    I think I was 14, too.  It was Spring Break of my 8th grade year.

    ETA: I just did an age calculator thing.  I was 14.5 years old.  Mom planned on taking me to the Dr that summer if I didn't start. I didn't mind...lol.
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  • heyimbrenheyimbren member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_sex-ed-schools?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:092354ad-9785-410e-9f57-f7b0551767f5Post:c2185811-f66f-4cea-95bc-cddba513393f">Re: S/O - Sex Ed in Schools</a>:
    [QUOTE]I had anatomy sex ed (basically, explaining periods) in 5th grade.  Then I had health (intercourse sex ed, std education) in 10th grade.  My mom had the period talk with me in 5th grade and although she alluded to sex, she never explained intercourse to me. I seriously disagree with the idea of abstinence only education. <strong> I think it is responsible for a lot of the STD transmissions and teen pregnancy in this country.
    </strong>Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    We had some information sessions at school in 6th grade to learn how our body works. It was divided up as mother/daughter and father/son but we covered both sexes in our discussions. Now, I went to a private school so I can't speak for the public education system in elementary school here.

    In HS, we also covered STDs in health along with birth control, but we also talked about them in religion class which was...odd. I went to a Catholic HS. The religion class one was useless, but I think that was because of the teacher, and not the curriculum.

    Either way, while I agree there needs to be more than just abstinence only education, I don't agree that it's the cause for the rise in young pregnancies and STDs. I don't think there's been a recent change with less sex ed over the years, and most of us have had SOME sort of education. If anything I think the sex ed has only gotten better over the past few years, yet (young) teen pregnancies and STDs still seem to be on the rise. I don't think that's only because of abstinence only education, but it could definitely play a part.
  • edited December 2011
    My mother sat me down when I was 8 (8!) and explained everything to me - periods, sex, pregnancy. I cried when she told me about periods. "You bleed WHERE?!?!?!"

    In high school, I had comprehensive sex-ed, which also explained about different types of contraceptives and STDs. I also remember learning the stages of an orgasm, which was pretty cool.
  • edited December 2011
    Also, I think this video is excellent as a call to action to save Planned Parenthood: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gaxBR1AiFS4
  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Sex ed stuff in grade 5 & 6, then full out ask-anything-talk-about-everything sex ed from 7-9.

    Mom and I had the talk at age 12 and then mom gave me 2 or 3 books.  That's right, I got books, bitches.

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  • calindicalindi member
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    edited December 2011
    We got a "period talk" in 5th grade (I presume the guys got a "wet dream" and "what to do with that sudden hard on in class" talk at the same time).  Then I switched to an all-girls Catholic school, and there were no such conversations afterwards.

    My parents sat me down on my 9th birthday with a book and explained it all.  I wasn't particularly impressed or shocked, just like, "Oh, that's all it is?"  Then I got in trouble for 'telling' the little girl down the street what sex was - even though it was her sister who told her.  I was grounded for a week, and I'm still pissed about it (sorta, in a joking sort of way).

    I do think full sex ed should be taught to all kids.  So many people have no idea what they're getting themselves in for, and should at least be able to make an educated decision.  I wonder how many fewer people would get STI's through oral sex if there was more of a push early for condom use during ALL interactions, not just vaginal intercourse.  The lack of education on HPV, for example, pisses me off.

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