Not Engaged Yet

Ring opinion

FI and I were talking yesterday about needing to look for wedding bands. He mentioned that he would like to change my engagement ring into a wedding band, and buy a new engagement ring. This is the engagement ring I currently have.



Have you ever heard of someone doing this? He thinks the ring looks too much like a wedding band and not enough like an engagement ring. I have small fingers, so I don't think I need much more bling on my finger. Thoughts?
~~December 3, 2011~~

Re: Ring opinion

  • edited December 2011
    Well, I think that would look great with a plain band. It looks like a great engagement ring. Is he just concerned about his ego? I know DH took his sweet time buying a ring because he wanted it to be a certain size... for his manhood or something like that.

    Anyway, I would just think about what you prefer- you're going to be wearing it. Maybe swing by a jewelry store and try on some different options to see what you feel. Bring him along, and talk about "more traditional engagement ring" vs "wedding band."
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Hmm... I've never heard of someone doing that, but I dont' see anything wrong with it.

    I think either way that would be your "engagement" ring, and the other ring he'd get you would still be your 'wedding ring' (even though it would look like an engagment ring). Personally, I don't think it's really how the ring looks that makes it an engagmeent ring, but when the ring was given to you (at your engagement).

    I really love your engagement ring, and I think you guys can pick out whatever 'wedding ring' you want to go along with it- whether it looks more like an engagement ring or a wedding band, doesn't matter to me.


    When you love someone, you can tell. When you're in love with someone, everyone else can tell.
    image
  • caitlin.cavecaitlin.cave member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0a6e328f-d5d0-45b5-8886-844cfc11404ePost:57517ebc-0c09-453c-98bf-ee716e55e77b">Re: Ring opinion</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hmm... I've never heard of someone doing that, but I dont' see anything wrong with it. I think either way that would be your "engagement" ring, and the other ring he'd get you would still be your 'wedding ring' (even though it would look like an engagment ring). <strong>Personally, I don't think it's really how the ring looks that makes it an engagmeent ring, but when the ring was given to you (at your engagement). I really love your engagement ring, and I think you guys can pick out whatever 'wedding ring' you want to go along with it</strong>- whether it looks more like an engagement ring or a wedding band, doesn't matter to me.
    Posted by bourgehm[/QUOTE]

    That.  I think it would look great with a plain band too.
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks!

    Jeana... It is totally about his manhood. He doesn't think my engagement ring is "big enough". I'm the one who picked it out, so obviously I'm in love with it. He seems to think if it isn't at least 3 carats, it's not a "good" engagement ring.
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
  • KatyRoseMKatyRoseM member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't do this, but if you both want to you can.  Your ring is beautiful and if its what you wanted then I would try to explain that to him.  Fi also wanted me to get a bigger ring, but it just wasn't my style.  It would be a bit weird to change your e-ring but if you don't feel odd about it then go for it. 
    image
  • katanne9katanne9 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What do YOU want to do? You don't have to have the typical-looking engagement ring/wedding band combo.

    I think your ring is beautiful and would lovely paired with a band.


    If it were me I would probably pair it with a band that I really liked.

    Also, it kind of sounds like you don't want a lot of bling. You're the one that has to wear it everyday.

  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    It could go either way.  It's a pretty engagement ring, but it would also make a pretty band for a solitaire engagement ring.  Whichever way you want it will be fine.
  • witchysherylwitchysheryl member
    Tenth Anniversary 10 Comments First Answer
    edited December 2011
    i agree with everyone else....I think your ring is beautiful and would look nice with a band. it's ultimately what you want. Just reassure him it's what you love!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the opinions.
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I think it would look really nice with a plain band. Tell your FI how you feel about the ring and let him know that you really like the e-ring you already have. 
    imageDaisypath Anniversary tickers
  • edited December 2011
    I asked my husband after I posted earlier "Did you really wait to buy my engagement ring until you could afford a certain size because of your manhood issues?"

    He said yes.

    Tell your FI that your rings have nothing to do with his manhood. A bigger ring doesn't prove that he can take better care of you. It isn't a clearer sign that you're "taken." Choosing the ring that YOU (the person who has to wear it) love and letting you have a bridal set that you feel comfortable in shows that he's a considerate and confident man. No one will think any less of him. Especially when they see how happy you are with what he gave you and how well it suits your tastes.

    I had to laugh at DH, and he laughs, too. It's such a silly thing that guys think a ring has to be a certain kind or a certain size to prove something to the rest of the world (or maybe to us?) about what kind of man he is. We're the ones wearing the darn thing!
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Haha... I love the fact that you point blank asked him if it was all about his manhood.

    FI thinks it is all about what his clients think (once we're married, I'll end up doing a lot of networking/dinners with him). A bigger ring = FI is more successful.

    I told him in a few years (when we don't have 2 separate house payments AND apartment rent) he could buy whatever he wanted me, but that it wouldn't be my engagement ring/wedding band. It would just be a nice diamond ring :) Compromise accepted!
    ~~December 3, 2011~~
  • edited December 2011
    If he loves his clients so much, why doesn't he marry THEM? Tongue out Just kidding, lol.

    Yeah, DH and I are pretty candid with each other. I find it easier to communicate if I just blurt out what's on my mind, and I think he appreciates that since he doesn't have psychic powers. I just say "Babe, is this about your ego?" and he says "Yep, it sure is." It's nice to be so honest with each other. It makes it easier to accept each other as-is, no false assumptions.

    I think your compromise is great- it doesn't make much sense to spend a chunk of money on something you don't need or want when it's really just so he can impress people who probably won't even notice. But, it would be a nice gesture for him to get you something later, when your budget isn't so tied up and you guys have a bit more financial wiggle room. Laughing
    Anniversary
  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ring-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0a6e328f-d5d0-45b5-8886-844cfc11404ePost:0a0243c7-85fe-48b5-8a35-179cfb6e8483">Re: Ring opinion</a>:
    [QUOTE]Haha... I love the fact that you point blank asked him if it was all about his manhood. <strong>FI thinks it is all about what his clients think (once we're married, I'll end up doing a lot of networking/dinners with him)</strong>. A bigger ring = FI is more successful. I told him in a few years (when we don't have 2 separate house payments AND apartment rent) he could buy whatever he wanted me, but that it wouldn't be my engagement ring/wedding band. It would just be a nice diamond ring :) Compromise accepted!
    Posted by Ember01[/QUOTE]

    Spend $30 and get a big honkin' CZ ring that you can wear specifically for those dinners if he's really concerned about it.
  • hannahnolahannahnola member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I always say THE BIGGER THE BETTER, and THE MORE THE MERRIER; atleast when it comes to diamonds.

    This being said, I say do whatever you want to do, but dont accomodate his needs, you will be wearing it not him. I would also suggest going to multiple jewelry stores and trying on different rings.

    I don't know if you would consider this but that could be your right hand ring and get a "traditional" engagement ring and maybe a thin diamond band / or white gold band.

    I say dont go with what you have to do, do what you want when it comes to wedding rings. 
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    For what it's worth, I absolutely love your engagement ring.  I think it's beautiful, classic, and elegant.  I'd prefer that over some big honking stone to impress some client any day!

    image

    Anniversary

  • edited December 2011
    No matter what, IMO, that's your engagement ring. If he wants to spend the bucks on another, and they don't look right side by side, you could always wear the original on the right hand. 

    My mom does this because her engagement ring is a cluster of heirlooms created into one ring in a custom white gold setting. Their wedding rings are yellow gold melted down into a bubbly wax setting with a few tiny diamonds. I wish I had pictures, it's pretty cool. They are so unique there is no way they would go together, but at the time my dad was insistent on the unique bubbly wax matching wedding bands. 

    Peeersonally, I think your engagement ring is beautiful the way it is and I wouldn't find a wedding band that would take away from it. 
    www.nurseyk.weebly.com
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