Ideal age to get married?

orangecrush32

What do you think the ideal age to get married is and why? I was talking with my guy about this and we disagree and I wanted other peoples opinions.

Elle1036

26 and 3 months, give or take 2 weeks.

No, seriously, it depends on the people in the relationship and where they are in their lives/careers/finances, etc.  I've known couples who were more-than-ready at age 22, and others who were nowhere-near-ready at age 30.  Age is the least important factor in determining whether it's the right time to get married.

loves2shop4shoes

11.  Because 1 + 1 = 2 and there are two people getting married.

orangecrush32

Well obviously it's the "when you're both mature and ready" but barring all that mumbo jumbo (:p) I'm just looking for what people think of a general "rule of thumb" ideal age. Obviously it won't fit everyone's situation and I'm definitely not using this to show my guy and be like see I'm at the age where we should get married today, but I'm trying to see what people generally think.

(And for the record, he's the one that is pushing for marriage today and I'm more on the let's wait a while side.)

nicweaver

I agree with PP. I think it just depends on where your relationship is at, if you are mature enough, if you are finacially ready... ect. There isn't a right and wrong age. But of course if you are 18 and getting married, you better be one mature, financially, emotionally ready 18 year old lol.

Elle1036

I think the median age in the U.S. is about 26 for women and 27 for men.  So, that'll give you an idea of which side of things you're on.  If you factor in the length of the relationship prior to marriage, though, you generally find that the younger couples have been together longer.

mookow86

orange I'm in Pittsburgh too!

I think it's more life experiences and maturity that should dictate when people are ready to get married, rather than age.  For example, I think living on your own is something you should have had the chance to do, exploring your own interests, becoming financially independent from parents and financially stable, etc. I guess these things define a minimum age rather than an 'ideal' age, though. I don't know that there really is an ideal age to get married.

nottheonlydreamer44

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:4108c414-47f9-4049-be7d-64b663d84725">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]11.  Because 1 + 1 = 2 and there are two people getting married.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]


LMFAO!! Thank you shoes.

I agree with PP - maturity is and life experience is the issue not a particular age. Although it is, by CDC standards, best to marry later rather the sooner.

Beads921

There is no 'ideal rule of thumb'. There just isn't. I think it's completely ridiculous to even contemplate that there might be. 

orangecrush32

Thanks for calling me ridiculous.

Seriously. It's just a lighthearted debate between me and my guy. It's all about the numbers. Nothing more. Everyone can come up with a number for this. It's not hard. Nothing important is based on the answer. It's just a simple question.

CASK85

I'll probably get married when I'm 27. How old are you?

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:8c12302f-3f28-4ea7-b0e6-3803005b5f08">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I'll probably get married when I'm 27.
Posted by cschiano[/QUOTE]

Hey, me too, IF (big if) everything follows the tentative timeline we have set now.  Schiano, how old are you now?

orangecrush32

21 turning 22 soon.

I personally think the ideal age for marriage is 24-26. My guy thinks 22.

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:abe2220f-04f0-4415-b4bb-3a28113b7d60">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideal age to get married? : Hey, me too, IF (big if) everything follows the tentative timeline we have set now.  Schiano, how old are you now?
Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

<div>
</div><div>I'm 25 (26 in February) and BF just turned 26. He's told me he thinks he'll propose in the next 6 months, so depending on when I think I might graduate (I'm in a PhD program and the thought of planning a wedding and trying to write the actual thesis sounds horrible) and money matters, I assume it'll be sometime when I'm 27. I'd be surprised if it were sooner.</div>

Elle1036

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:c6c94596-2852-4d28-aa01-e0a0c3f1254f">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]21 turning 22 soon. I personally think the ideal age for marriage is 24-26. My guy thinks 22.
Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]

Like I mentioned in my earlier post, I know a few couples who were more than ready for marriage at age 22.  That said, though, I am generally initially skeptical toward couples getting married that young if I don't know them personally.  I think your idea is closer than your BF's, but there are a lot of other considerations, and I may be basing my opinions on what I was like at age 22; it would have been ridiculous for me to even consider marriage at that point in my life.

Tell us a little more about yourself.  What do you and your BF do?  How long have you been together?

CASK85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:c6c94596-2852-4d28-aa01-e0a0c3f1254f">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]21 turning 22 soon. I personally think the ideal age for marriage is 24-26. My guy thinks 22.
Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]

<div>24-26 sounds good. I'm sure you have goals you'd like to accomplish before getting married. Plus by that time you'll probably be more financially secure (this is me assuming, b/c I wasn't at 22)  and able to afford more of the things you want for a wedding and for life in general. </div>

GreenPepperBurger

The ideal marriage age is specific to the people getting married. Society does not and should not dictate that. My criteria for getting married is for ME. Nobody else has to adhere to these rules but me and my SO. I think we should both have our degrees, be in stable careers and be financially secure enough to pay the bills on our own. So for us, the ideal age would be around 25-26.

This doesn't mean that anyone under 25 is too young to get married.

orangecrush32

We've been together for two years. I'm currently going to school and will be graduating in the spring. He lives about an hour and a half away from me but I see him every weekend. Once I graduate we're going to move in together and in the fall he will be starting technical school.

loves2shop4shoes

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:c6c94596-2852-4d28-aa01-e0a0c3f1254f">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]21 turning 22 soon. I personally think the ideal age for marriage is 24-26. My guy thinks 22.
Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]

<div>FWIW, I'm 22.  FI is 25.  We just got engaged two months ago-today.  We're getting married on 8/4/12, at which point I'll be 24 and he'll be 26.</div>

orangecrush32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:5dd3cded-2eef-47dd-9925-5eea84f1918f">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Ideal age to get married? : FWIW, I'm 22.  FI is 25.  We just got engaged two months ago-today.  We're getting married on 8/4/12, at which point I'll be 24 and he'll be 26.
Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

haha exactly the ideal age! :p

desertsun

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:0af46456-5633-432c-b473-3552a6b21e3f">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for calling me ridiculous. Seriously. It's just a lighthearted debate between me and my guy. It's all about the numbers. Nothing more. Everyone can come up with a number for this. It's not hard. Nothing important is based on the answer. It's just a simple question.
Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]

I think a better way to word your questions would be simply to ask:
How old are you and SO?
How long have you been dating/did you date before getting engaged?
How long (if applicable) is/was your engagement?
How long have you been married?

How old are you and SO? I am 28, my H is 26.
How long have you been dating/did you date before getting engaged? 4 years
How long (if applicable) is/was your engagement? 8 months
HOw long have you been married? 3 months

bethsmiles

22-24! But only because that is probably how old I will be when I get married. Seriously though there is no overall right answer to this question, for some its 18 for others its 40.

heyimbren

There is no rule of thumb. Nobody said you were ridiculous, but that it's ridiculous to assume there's an ideal age. These answers aren't "mumbo jumbo".

This is the one time you get to be a special snowflake.

PaigeMcC

I'll be 25.  But really, experience, life stuff, etc. are the important parts. 

If you think that 24-26 is a good age range then that's what you're comfortable with.  I think that's a pretty average range 24-30 probably more realistic.

tafft1

There is one answer to this - when you both agreed to get married together - that is the ideal age. Nothing more or less..though life xperience does and should play a factor and I think settling down too early can be a negative thing if not properly agreed upon and discussed..like anything in life really.

cruisebunny7

I agree with the PP's.  When you are both mature enough to handle marriage and the responsibilities that come with it.  You both should be financially steady and have your lives straightend out.  My SO will be 29 and I will be 27 when we get married.  We have complicated jobs (both flight attendants who fly for different airlines) for relationships, so we definatly have to be mature, trusting and organized to handle a marriage. 

coastiegrl25

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:491b0a3f-5aa9-4b9b-9c4b-3dea5e2b369c">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]There is no rule of thumb. Nobody said you were ridiculous, but that it's ridiculous to assume there's an ideal age. These answers aren't "mumbo jumbo".<strong> This is the one time you get to be a special snowflake.</strong>
Posted by heyimbren[/QUOTE]

This.  Everyone was giving u good advice then you get all snotty.  No reason for it, you are looking for a number when in all reality there is no set age that one is ready. Someone can graduate and have a good job at age 21 and be financially secure...whereas someone can be 40 who is jobless and doesn't provide and/or care to.  It all depends on the maturity of the couple, and when they are both ready.

orangecrush32

I "got snotty" because someone called me ridiculous. Seriously, this isn't something we're discussing for our relationship. His friend just got engaged and we started discussing age. His friend is 19. I said he was too young and the discussion began from there.

It's not like I'm planning on getting married at a certain age. Obviously I'm going to get married when I and my SO are ready. I was just wondering what everyone thought an "ideal" age is.

Obviously that question isn't as simple as I thought it to be. My bad.

heyimbren

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_ideal-age-married?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b33883c-e4f4-4c78-ba8b-3380eea9bc65Post:9cb52603-d752-4162-8083-9fff7d1de33f">Re: Ideal age to get married?</a>:
[QUOTE]I "got snotty" because someone called me ridiculous. Seriously, this isn't something we're discussing for our relationship. His friend just got engaged and we started discussing age. His friend is 19. I said he was too young and the discussion began from there. It's not like I'm planning on getting married at a certain age. Obviously I'm going to get married when I and my SO are ready.<strong> I was just wondering what everyone thought an "ideal" age is. </strong>Obviously that question isn't as simple as I thought it to be. My bad.
Posted by orangecrush32[/QUOTE]

No, Beads said that it's ridiculous to truly believe there's ONE ideal age that applies to everyone. It's fine to discuss things, and nobody was against you asking it but we're honestly responding to the question. It looks like most people here don't believe there is an ideal age at all, but there are average ages to when most people do get married.

It may not be the answer you were originally looking for, but it's the honest opinion of the posters who responded.

You're right; it isn't a simple question. That's why people explained their opinions.

SeaTea02

Orange, you are being a tad over sensitive. Saying that having in ideal age was ridiculous was her opinion, and THAT is what you asked for. Not everyone in life (and especially around here) will validate you.

To answer your question: I agree with PP. There is not "right age". I would say older than 20. I think it is hard for people to be ready much before then, but it is possible. I will be about 22 when I get married and BF will be 23.

orangecrush32

I'm not looking for anyone to validate me. I was just asking a question. Maybe ideal confused people. Maybe I should have asked ideal for them. Idk. I wasn't asking for anyone to give me any personal advice, though I appreciate it. I really was just looking for numbers. And I get that people have said there aren't numbers. Okay. That's cool.