Not Engaged Yet

Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent

Hi girls.  I've just been feeling really down lately and I need to vent.

I haven't spoken with my mother for over a month now, with the exception of the one time I called her to tell her my feelings, which went really badly.  I really miss her, but I refuse to sweep the whole situation under the rug and pretend like all of this is ok.  I'm tired of it all.

Also, all of our wedding plans have essentially come to a screeching halt.  FI and I have no idea what we want to do.  We've been hoping that my dad would be get back to me and give me a concrete offer of at least SOME money to use towards the wedding, but that hasn't happened.  At this point, we're less than 18 months out from our original date and we are completely lost.  I'm afraid we'll lose our venues.  

I know that it's looking like if I want to get married at the date originally planned on, I'll have to make serious sacrifices--either by having a DW or by having a TINY wedding.  And that really upsets me.  I realize I might sound like a brat here, but you only get one wedding.  You can have a vow renewal and other celebrations, but only one TRUE wedding.  And it's quite heartbreaking to have to compromise on what you want for your WEDDING.  

I'm trying to not let this get the best of me, but I can't help my feelings.  And I feel angry and sad.  It's hard to focus on my school work.  It's hard to force myself out of bed in the morning.

And the worst thing about the whole situation, aside from having to compromise on my wedding, is being completely devoid of the very basic thing that most people seek comfort in--the ability to pick up the phone and cry to my mom.  
«13

Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    How do you and your FI feel about pushing the date back? How long do you think you would need to save up the money for the wedding you want to have? I'm sorry that things have been so rough for you lately but this is all going to work out.


  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:ec1284b7-156f-4294-af22-4e61be7c4eea">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]How do you and your FI feel about pushing the date back? How long do you think you would need to save up the money for the wedding you want to have? I'm sorry that things have been so rough for you lately but this is all going to work out.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    <div>We obviously aren't wild about the idea.  Honestly, we just avoid talking at all about weddings lately because it just upsets us both.  I'll be honest...venturing over to my month board makes me tear up.</div><div>
    </div><div>Btw, congrats on your weight loss Beth.  I'm proud of you.</div>
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:e18849bc-82ac-4652-8ec2-0b255c9f5072">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : We obviously aren't wild about the idea.  Honestly, we just avoid talking at all about weddings lately because it just upsets us both.  I'll be honest...venturing over to my month board makes me tear up. Btw, congrats on your weight loss Beth.  I'm proud of you.
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    I wouldn't be thilled about it either. I'm sorry hun.


  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry to hear that about your mom.  I'm not particularly close to mine, so I don't have as much an understanding as to what you're going through.

    The wedding is over a year and a half away.  It's fine if things are on hold right now.  Don't rely on any money besides your own for your wedding.  If it is offered, wonderful, but I still wouldn't count on it until the check is cleared.  If you're not willing to compromise details of your wedding with the budget you have now, you might have to push it back to have more time to save money.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Here's a little tough love...

    This isn't just your Mom's fault.  Your Dad owes her the money - sure, she was not upfront about it but he still does owe her the money.  While she's probably trying to put the screws to him, she most likely isn't doing this intentionally to hurt you. From what I understand, your Dad knew he owed her money when he told you what he'd contribute towards your wedding.  This is a classic case of "don't count your chickens before they're hatched". Until you had that money in hand, you can't count on it.

    I'm really sorry you started planning your wedding with this money in mind and now have to change everything - I'm sure it's really disappointing and frustrating.  That really sucks, it does.  There's no getting around that.  But you can only let it bother you, or get over it and move on.  There's no one ruining the joy of your engagement here except you.  Sure, you have to change your plans, but you know what?  Everyone compromises on something.  Money is limited for most couples getting married, so they make choices.  My friend got on Style Me Pretty with a $5k budget and a 50 person wedding, and I'm sure she wouldn't change a moment of it - the people closest to her were there, and she married the love of her life.

    So you can keep letting this grow in your mind, letting it upset you more, driving a wedge further between you and your Mom as you hold it against her, and ruining this time for you.  Or you can figure out what money you DO have available, what is most important to you, and move forward.  If you want more time to save, postpone your wedding.  If you want to get married now, you can cut back on some things, have a smaller wedding or a destination wedding.  Or you can elope and just have a reception at home for your families after.

    image

    Anniversary

  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    This might sound cold hearted but you counted on money that was never really yours - so that is your own fault and gets no sympathy from me. Yes you get one wedding but it definitely sounds like you care more about that then marrying your FI. Personally that is the number one reason it should be about - not about all the bells and whistles. So you push the date back..does that suddenly change your relationship or goals ? I would hope not. You can't have it both ways. If you both want and need the original vision of the wedding then the only way I can see it happening is to push it back - otherwise leaern to adapt.

    Personally I would stop all wedding planning and stop getting YOURSELF all worked up over beign depressed about your fantasy wedding and look more to the realistic side. The fact you said you are kind of waiting for your dad to offer money knowing what is going on just rubs me the wrong way as well. I would just leave behind the wedding planning and thoughts and just deal with the here and now and go with the flow. Compromise is a huge part of life and marriage..if all the physical junk means that much then that is pretty sad. A big pretty omg amazing wedding does not a successfull marriage make.
    Photobucket Anniversary www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:6f08a178-ec63-4575-9eb1-1c393ac1b445">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>This might sound cold hearted </strong>...
    Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]

    <div>Congratulations!  You win a prize for the biggest understatement of the decade.  I didn't ask for anyone's advice...I posted as a vent, which is conveyed in the title of this post.  You can prance around on your high horse about how I'm being materialistic, but I doubt ANYONE in my situation WOULDN'T be upset.</div>
  • tafft1tafft1 member
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Yup I'm a cold hearted uppity b*tch , thats me. Never said you couldnt be upset but you come here every damn week with a new problem about your wedding. We get it. I just am not afraid to say to your face what I think.
    Photobucket Anniversary www.MyVacationCountdown.com Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers
  • AudgiePodgeAudgiePodge member
    2500 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You're going to get advice if you want them or not. 

    If you don't want opinions, don't post on a public forum.  

    Maybe you should start a tumblr.
    I'm not good at feelings.

    image
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:b6ffc598-df7d-4f1b-9e8e-8dcce25098b3">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Yup I'm a cold hearted uppity b*tch , thats me. Never said you couldnt be upset but you come here every damn week with a new problem about your wedding. We get it. I just am not afraid to say to your face what I think.
    Posted by tafft1[/QUOTE]

    <div>I have been coming on here venting about the same problem with my wedding.  It's been a huge source of stress for me lately.  And over the past 7 months or so, the women on this board have overall been a good source of support.  They vent to me, I vent to them.  That's how it works.  If you don't want to read it, don't open the thread.</div><div>
    </div><div>I appreciate advice if it's actually helpful.  Cate's advice, for example, wasn't rainbow farts, but was actually helpful and insightful.  Giving "advice" that is in no way profound and is in EVERY way nasty and rude, for the sake of cutting down another poster, is a waste of both of our time.</div>
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:bc8f5f29-72fb-4343-b104-29ab44b17dad">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : Congratulations!  You win a prize for the biggest understatement of the decade.  I didn't ask for anyone's advice...I posted as a vent, which is conveyed in the title of this post.  You can prance around on your high horse about how I'm being materialistic, but I doubt ANYONE in my situation WOULDN'T be upset.
    Posted by loves2shop4shoes[/QUOTE]

    I don't think that she is saying you can't be upset but its been awhile since you found out about the money situation. Its time to start making some decisions. Scale back the wedding or push back the date? You may have to create a new vision for your wedding but a less expensive wedding can be every bit as beautiful and wonderful as a more expensive wedding. Your situation sucks but its not the end of the world and you aren't going to start feeling better about until you start making some new plans. I think an attitude readjustment is needed here.


  • edited December 2011
    Arggggg...so much for GBCKing...

    You can take this or you can leave it. No skin off my nose either way.

    No matter how much you plan, no matter how much money you shell out, no matter how in control you think you are of your wedding, no wedding will ever go 100% as planned. You planned a dream wedding in your head based on money that was never yours to begin with. That money is gone. You know have the option of a) waiting and saving until you can impliment your dream wedding, or b) you can work with the circumstances you've got and get married within those parameters. If your dad saves the day financially, great. But basing your wedding plans on money that isn't yours and may never be is not logical, nor realistic.

    And call me uppity, but to say that you're waiting for your dad to shell out some bucks doesn't sit all that well with me either.

    I had a dream wedding in my head too. Life didn't cooperate. In my dream wedding, my grandmother would be lacing up my dress with my mom...instead, I'm carrying a picture of her in my hand and roses in her memory and I have to hope that she's seeing it somewhere. In my dream wedding, my entire family would be there and be happy...instead, an entire half of my family won't be recognizing our marriage, let alone attending, because of a family feud that has absolutely nothing to do with me or my FI. Nowhere in my dream wedding plans were there visions of having to avoid catfights between relatives or having all but one of our grandparents be unable to attend. No where in there was having to make wedding plans around major surgeries, or wondering if we should be just JOPing it and saving the money in case we need fertility assistance, or staying up until 3am doing planning because that's the only time I can fit it in between two jobs, full time classes and a full time lab schedule.

    But you know what? There's some pieces that weren't in the dream plans that I'm pretty happy are there now. I got to plan a wedding at the same time my sister did - didn't picture that, and it's something I'm going to be forever thankful that we shared with one another. My ex and his girlfriend are flying the red eye all the way from France, just to see me get married... never in a million years did I ever expect that to happen. Over the course of the wedding planning, my brother's longtime gf went from being a virtual stranger to one of my closest friends...I never imagined that.
     
    Mutley, whom I've never actually met in the flesh until now, got on a friggin plane and flew all the way across the country and showed up at my bridal shower to surprise me, simply because she heard that half my family was blowing it off. And she's going to turn around and do it again in April, with her husband and baby in tow. I can tell you right now, never in my wildest dreams did I forsee that one.

    Just because all the pieces and parts don't fall into place doesn't mean my wedding isn't going to be exactly what I want. Because in the end, exactly what I want is to be married to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man I want to have babies with. The man I want to make fun of for having to use a walker and losing his hair someday. As long as that criteria is met, the wedding could go to hell and a handbasket for all I care.

    I get your disappointment, but I think that you need to sit down and really look at the big picture, and reassess what is really important in this entire situation. A designer gown, or wedding vows. A fancy pants venue, or that first kiss as man and wife. A wedding or a marriage. Because, no offense, all I hear is wedding, wedding wedding. You owe yourself, and your FI, a hell of a lot more than that.

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:70338389-36a6-408e-8382-b40edc69f88a">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Arggggg...so much for GBCKing... You can take this or you can leave it. No skin off my nose either way. No matter how much you plan, no matter how much money you shell out, no matter how in control you think you are of your wedding, no wedding will ever go 100% as planned. You planned a dream wedding in your head based on money that was never yours to begin with. That money is gone. You know have the option of a) waiting and saving until you can impliment your dream wedding, or b) you can work with the circumstances you've got and get married within those parameters. If your dad saves the day financially, great. But basing your wedding plans on money that isn't yours and may never be is not logical, nor realistic. And call me uppity, but to say that you're waiting for your dad to shell out some bucks doesn't sit all that well with me either. I had a dream wedding in my head too. Life didn't cooperate. In my dream wedding, my grandmother would be lacing up my dress with my mom...instead, I'm carrying a picture of her in my hand and roses in her memory and I have to hope that she's seeing it somewhere. In my dream wedding, my entire family would be there and be happy...instead, an entire half of my family won't be recognizing our marriage, let alone attending, because of a family feud that has absolutely nothing to do with me or my FI. Nowhere in my dream wedding plans were there visions of having to avoid catfights between relatives or having all but one of our grandparents be unable to attend. No where in there was having to make wedding plans around major surgeries, or wondering if we should be just JOPing it and saving the money in case we need fertility assistance, or staying up until 3am doing planning because that's the only time I can fit it in between two jobs, full time classes and a full time lab schedule. But you know what? There's some pieces that weren't in the dream plans that I'm pretty happy are there now. I got to plan a wedding at the same time my sister did - didn't picture that, and it's something I'm going to be forever thankful that we shared with one another. My ex and his girlfriend are flying the red eye all the way from France, just to see me get married... never in a million years did I ever expect that to happen. Over the course of the wedding planning, my brother's longtime gf went from being a virtual stranger to one of my closest friends...I never imagined that.   <strong>Mutley, whom I've never actually met in the flesh until now, got on a friggin plane and flew all the way across the country and showed up at my bridal shower to surprise me, simply because she heard that half my family was blowing it off. And she's going to turn around and do it again in April, with her husband and baby in tow.</strong> I can tell you right now, never in my wildest dreams did I forsee that one. Just because all the pieces and parts don't fall into place doesn't mean my wedding isn't going to be exactly what I want. Because in the end, exactly what I want is to be married to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. The man I want to have babies with. The man I want to make fun of for having to use a walker and losing his hair someday. As long as that criteria is met, the wedding could go to hell and a handbasket for all I care. I get your disappointment, but I think that you need to sit down and really look at the big picture, and reassess what is really important in this entire situation. A designer gown, or wedding vows. A fancy pants venue, or that first kiss as man and wife. A wedding or a marriage. Because, no offense, all I hear is wedding, wedding wedding. You owe yourself, and your FI, a hell of a lot more than that.
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    That was perfect advice/insight. Also, the bolded part is pretty freaking amazing on the part of Mutley, you are lucky to have such a good friend.


  • edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:2c0d8e22-44c6-466c-b877-e1c7d9595140">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : That was perfect advice/insight. Also, the bolded part is pretty freaking amazing on the part of Mutley, you are lucky to have such a good friend.
    Posted by bethsmiles[/QUOTE]

    LOL...I'll have to post the vid rickylee took of her showing up at my house and surprising/scaring the shite out of me. I definitely cried. Like a big fat baby. lol</div>

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • Elle1036Elle1036 member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:324b18a3-7068-4ca0-a60e-a9f490d28674">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : LOL...I'll have to post the vid rickylee took of her showing up at my house and surprising/scaring the shite out of me. I definitely cried. Like a big fat baby. lol
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    I want to see.


    Shoes, honey, I'm starting to get a little worried about you, and I mean that in the nicest, most honest way possible.  I understand that you're going through a rough patch and that things aren't going your way, but you still have a lot in your life to be thankful for.  You're a law student so your future looks good, you've found someone you want to spend your life with (who feels the same way about you), and you're going to get married.  We all get depressed about things from time to time, but from what I can see, your life has a whole lot more good in it than bad right now.  I wish you felt that way, too.

    Your assignment now is to make a list of 20 things in your life that you are thankful for, no matter how small.  I expect this posted by the end of the day tomorrow.

    (Oceana, same for you and that video).
  • bethsmilesbethsmiles member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I want to see that video too! Sounds pretty awesome. And Shoes, Elle is right, there is a lot of good in your life


  • calindicalindi member
    5000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Wow, Oceana, that is a pretty amazing thing of Mutley to do for you!  And I definitely want to see that video!

    image

    Anniversary

  • hetshuphetshup member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Shoes, I know that you know I am not your biggest fan, but please read the tone of this message as someone that is concerned. I am not attacking, I am simply worried. 

    I think Cate is somewhat right. You are in this feedback loop of woe, and you keep getting yourself more and more wrought up. The money that you were depending on is gone. There isn't anything else to it. It's gone, maybe you will get something somewhere, but you shouldn't depend on it. In all truth, it is legitimately your mother's money, and it's her prerogative to do with it as she wishes. Is it a diick move? Yes. But as you said, she waited until the last minute to get the money. That happened to coincide with when you were supposed to get the money. So really, everyone deserves a little blame. Keep in mind that you have 19 months to plan. That's 10 months more than I had to plan, and I think my wedding was pretty awesome. So take some time off. Seriously, take some time off. Focus on school for a while and revisit this when you have fresh eyes. If it helps, we only spent $250 on venue decor and people raved about it. Get creative. But first get some Shoes time. 

    And while I don't normally like to have people medicated, if it helps you break the hurt cycle, it may not be a terrible idea. 


    Good luck! 
    Warning No formatter is installed for the format bbhtml
  • edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:04827482-c9f9-44ff-b09f-b300fc335f29">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down... <strong>Your assignment now is to make a list of 20 things in your life that you are thankful for, no matter how small.</strong>  I expect this posted by the end of the day tomorrow. (Oceana, same for you and that video).
    Posted by Elle1036[/QUOTE]

    I <3 this. Hardcore. Honestly, sometimes you just need to do that. When I'm having a colassally sh*tty week, I'll come up with a list of 50 or 100 things I'm thankful for, or things that I love about life. By the time I'm done, 99% of the time, things don't seem as bad as they did before I started.</div>

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You didn't ask for advice but you're getting it anyways...

    You have 18 months to figure this out.  Scale it back, save up some money, change your plans or do whatever you and FI need to do to have your wedding.  Yes, it sucks that it's not working out the way you planned but guess what? Life doesn't work out the way you planned.  Put on your big girl panties and figure it out.

    Now on to mom - I don't know what your relationship with your mom has been like in the past, I don't know what your relationship will be in the future but I do know that if one of you doesn't suck it up and get in touch with the other that you're going to regret it.  You miss your mom, right?  So call her.  Talk to her.  This cone of silence you've put yourself in (in regards to her) is not helping the situation.  Again, time for some big girl panties.

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    Money comes and money goes. You get one wedding. You can't afford one big wedding without daddy's help? You have one SMALLER wedding. GTFOI. Your wedding is 18 months away. FI and I are shooting for something around the same time and we haven't planned anything yet because we don't have the money.
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:945ad3ee-3a27-4ca8-aee1-689d2f7c77ba">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]Money comes and money goes. You get one wedding. You can't afford one big wedding without daddy's help? You have one SMALLER wedding. GTFOI. Your wedding is 18 months away. FI and I are shooting for something around the same time and we haven't planned anything yet because we don't have the money.
    Posted by Narwhal[/QUOTE]

    At least you've got the guest list down. You just need to know what sixteen entrees they're picking. :P</div>

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:85df8a5c-5a78-443e-a366-e91db9c19ff9">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : At least you've got the guest list down. You just need to know what sixteen entrees they're picking. :P
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    <div>I want the chicken!!</div>

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:85df8a5c-5a78-443e-a366-e91db9c19ff9">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : At least you've got the guest list down. You just need to know what sixteen entrees they're picking. :P
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-tongue-out.gif" border="0" alt="Tongue out" title="Tongue out" />
    Anniversary
  • edited December 2011
    Shoes you need to get over it. Seriously. The money you expected is gone and isn't coming back. Continuing to dwell on it is just going to make yourself more depressed over the situation and get you absolutley nowhere.

    Start looking at the plans you have and figure out where you can cut something out or do in a different way so that it doesn't cost so much. Scale the guest list back, start making a list of things you can DIY. You have 18 months and you can pull off a fantastic wedding in that time but you have to get past this setback and get moving. You have plenty of time to save money and get everything done. You are going to have to make compromises - you probably aren't going to be able to have that dream venue or the exact flowers you wanted or those centerpieces you had your heart set on.

    I get that it sucks and you are sad about it but you have to make do with what you have. I'm sorry you don't have a good relationship with your mother because of her actions but you can't control what she is going to do. Don't expect any help from her or your dad and just plan with what you know you will have.

    The only one who is going to know that all those little details weren't what you had originally envisioned is you. Don't let it ruin your wedding because no one is going to care or remember what decorations you had the next day.

    The important thing to remember is that you are getting married to the man you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. Focus on the things that will matter and the rest will fall in place.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:85df8a5c-5a78-443e-a366-e91db9c19ff9">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : At least you've got the guest list down. You just need to know what sixteen entrees they're picking. :P
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    CAKE!

    What? I can eat cake for dinner.
    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers
  • edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:bfa68124-1c49-4931-9d85-44ea8a155934">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : CAKE! What? I can eat cake for dinner.
    Posted by sapphirebaby926[/QUOTE]

    Why can I picture there being about 10 pregnant women showing up to the wedding going, "BABY WANTS CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"?</div>

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • PaigeMcCPaigeMcC member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:89a0ff81-ddc0-406d-825d-492666dc2ae1">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : Why can I picture there being about 10 pregnant women showing up to the wedding going, "BABY WANTS CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!"?
    Posted by oceana919[/QUOTE]

    <div>SoBe.  Everywhere.</div>

    "Popular on the internetz..."
    image

    Canada is kind of like a whole other world with new things to discover that us americans only dream of. - Narwhal
    Paige I would like to profess my love for you and your brilliant mind. - breezerb
    Murried Bio
  • edited December 2011
    <div align="left">In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_not-engaged-yet_feeling-little-downjust-want-vent?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:136Discussion:0b381268-7c33-45bb-a3ea-c161b8a314daPost:10e4deee-0e2d-4c4d-94d4-abc1da5e2f1e">Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeling a Little Down...Just want to vent : SoBe.  Everywhere.
    Posted by PaigeMcC[/QUOTE]

    I should just start buying stock in SoBe. I'd be rolling in it after a week.</div>

    Image and video hosting by TinyPic

    "Oceana swings from logical to anus punching." - Buttons

    Planning / Married / Blog

  • edited December 2011
    Oh man...THIS is why I Knot.  Because you ladies are wonderful.

    Cate- Thank you for your good advice.  Your advice is always intelligent, articulate, and logical.  You're an asset to TK, and a caring, gerous, wonderful person.

    Oceana- Bullshiit and past differences aside, I sincerely thank you for that advice.  That was probably the best advice I've ever been given on TK.  I will be sending you a PM after I am finished with this post.

    Elle- Thank you for being awesome, giving good advice, and giving me a project.

    Hetshup- Thank you for taking the time to post good advice.  I know you're not my biggest fan, and frankly, it would have been easy for you to use my obvious weakness in this situation to tear into me like a monkey on a cupcake.  Thank you for not doing that.

    Paige- You are by far the most awesome Canadian I ever did meet.  (Insert tiara with maple leaves.)

    Sapphire- Thank you for taking the time to give good advice.  I really appreciate it.
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards